🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Golden Boy]

Ralph is a bitch-made fat loser who behaves like a woman.

You can tell he writes about Null in his journal everyday, everyday fantasizing about finally meeting his dream-man.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

Fat baby can't handle the atomic wedgie, so we would have pants him instead.

Copy that.

I'll send you the revised phalanx co-ordinates.

 

[Vect]

Is that a PS2 game playing in the background?


(Archive)

I love how he's documenting this completely banal journey to his home country purely for our benefit., like he's updating his parents so they know he hasn't fucked up somewhere.

 

[Null]

I love how he's documenting this completely banal journey to his home country purely for our benefit., like he's updating his parents so they know he hasn't fucked up somewhere.

do you know how many people can safely make it across the Mexican-American border every day? Not many, I'll put it that way.

 

[Gulls on Film]

a short update from @theralph
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archive
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In a shocking twist, Ethan has decided he wants to get punched in the face in America for once.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Is that a PS2 game playing in the background?

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(Archive)

I love how he's documenting this completely banal journey to his home country purely for our benefit., like he's updating his parents so they know he hasn't fucked up somewhere.

Except his parents are dead and he has fucked up in every way

 

[AncientPhosphur]

No knife…. No brass knuckles…

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

Is that a PS2 game playing in the background?

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(Archive)

I love how he's documenting this completely banal journey to his home country purely for our benefit., like he's updating his parents so they know he hasn't fucked up somewhere.

He sure got obese in the last 10 hours.
Those slimming filters putting in the work.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

So is Rackets going to take Piggy out for ice cream since he traveled so far?

 

[30+GameOvers]

He sure got obese in the last 10 hours.
Those slimming filters putting in the work.

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Do I even need to say it? What other "man" do you know that uses these gay filters?
None, this is made for women. Ralph, you're not a real man, this is why every single woman in your life ran as far away as they could away from you. You will die just like your pappy: Fat, mentally ill, unwanted and alone. Oh, and a womanly little pencil-dick pretending to be a chad in a foreign country, because you're not a real man.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

So is Rackets going to take Piggy out for ice cream since he traveled so far?

He better let Ralph stay at his place like a TRUE FRIEND and not force my man to stay in a hotel. There are certified Kiwi Farms pantsing experts stationed around every hotel, motel and dumpster in a 20-mile radius of the courthouse.

 

[Near]

He sure got obese in the last 10 hours.
Those slimming filters putting in the work.

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My favorite was when he blatantly used one such filter on a beach and his shadow was about 200 pounds fatter than him.

Can't stop losing, Ralph

 

[Vect]

do you know how many people can safely make it across the Mexican-American border every day?

I'm aware. I wasn't optimistic about his chances in Mexico to begin with.

Since then I've learned to place great faith in the Ralphamale's supernatural resistance to meaningful consequences.

Those slimming filters putting in the work.

You have to give him credit for making the effort to find a place where the lighting matched his hat and skin tone.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

He better let Ralph stay at his place like a TRUE FRIEND and not force my man to stay in a hotel.

Well how else is Piggy going to make sweet love to his side chick wife if he has to crash at hotel? I'm sure Rackets has a shed in his backyard Piggy could stay in so he feels right at home.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

Because he's too drunk to look things up, Ralph this is for you:
"The District of Minnesota has a policy that restricts the use of electronic devices in courthouses, including recording and photographing outside of courtrooms. The policy prohibits recording or photographing:

• Courtrooms
• Court offices
• Court staff members
• Building entrances and exits
• Security checkpoints
• General Service Administration common areas
• Public spaces..."

God it would be so funny if this ends in Ralph being arrested.
Imagine the worst possible timeline where the Rekietas and their druggie sex slave get off scot-free but somehow Ralph ends up charged with crimes.

Worst possible timeline but funniest fucking outcome.

 

[Asian tech support]

When did "giving wedgies" become a serious threat? Is it in the same weight as "to knife someone"? And now he wants to sell it as a trolling attempt.

WHADAYAMEAN YEW DON'T BREENG AH KNIFE TO A WEDGIE FIGHT THE RALPHAMALE DON'T SCARE AH'LL STAB YEW IN THA LEG COZ AH CAN'T REACH ANY HIGHER

 

[Bill Evans 45]

all he's gonna do is sit his fat ass on a courtroom chair

And his trotters won't touch the floor unless he slouches.

He sure got obese in the last 10 hours.
Those slimming filters putting in the work.

Imagine choosing to look like this. Pitiful.

 

[Muppetstudios]

It’s funny seeing Ralph do all this traveling to nose guard he said all this about ;

https://youtu.be/bZLuGcsBXRA

What's funnier is knowing Nick will be desperate for him not to attend but won't say so as he needs all the allies he can get. It just adds to a circus he would rather avoid.

 

[Jacknife]

Ralph doesn't have the smarts to get there on time. He can't do it.

I have no idea wether this 5.1D chess or ironic 5.1D chess

 

[Crispy Jakes]

Don't know about that, thoughts? (A)
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“When you’ve retarded yourself by drowning your brain in benzos and alcohol for years, your brain still remains retard sludge for years after quitting.”

Ralph: Thank you, sir!