Yep. Seeing the effect that a child's death has on parents - even if it was an accidental death, not a violent one or suicide etc - for years, for ever, after, makes you realise that no matter what, no matter how low and how terrified you feel, you really just Aren't Allowed to suicide, while you still have them living on the planet.
Regarding Gruffins appearence, she might have been able to disguise herself with a haircut and going full in with the makeup and styling herself cool if she remained presenting as a girl.
These things require a lot of consistent effort from the less fortunate gal.
I don't know if someone inclined to poonerism would bother with all that anyway, but being a balding "man" stripped any disguise away from her so her full dysgenicness had no shield or shade.
She didn't even have a "big Irish head" so much as she had a macrocephalic FAS balloon, like a literal pug, as in, 'my head makes up roughly a third of the size of my tiny frame U°°U"
Trauma also causes people to stay small.. Can't remember the ins and outs but do remember learning that fact in like, A Level psychology class.
It might be something to link in with the fact that all these pooners are fucking tiny way way too much to be a coincidence. Like they are the smallest of women.