Why are there no midget lolcows?

Midgets are a small population. Terminally online people are a smaller population. Lolcows are even smaller. You need a venn diagram of the three to meet to get a lolcow midget. We don't allow celebrity lolcows on KF generally, so Warwick Davis and Peter Dinklage (who might otherwise qualify) are disqualified. It's a very small group of people who are, therefore, lolcow midgets. It makes sense that you just haven't heard of any.
 
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Clown College 2nd Year said:
Brian Peppers would probably count if he was still alive. Then again, his story might be too disturbing to count as a lolcow.
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Brian was a wheelchair-bound, (allegedly) blind, infirm patient of Whitehouse Country Manor in the northwest corner of Ohio, who looked like Slippy Toad and was convicted and registered as a sex offender because one of the nurses claimed he had groped her. Not only would that amount to being one of the least disturbing lolcows to be featured and documented on this site - He probably didn't even go to hell.
 
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Marc said:
Brian was a wheelchair-bound, (allegedly) blind, infirm patient of Whitehouse Country Manor in the northwest corner of Ohio, who looked like Slippy Toad and was convicted and registered as a sex offender because one of the nurses claimed he had groped her. Not only would that amount to being one of the least disturbing lolcows to be featured and documented on this site - He probably didn't even go to hell.
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Ya disturbing probably wasn't the best choice, probably "tragic" would be a better descriptor for This poor sap. I certainly hope wherever he is now he's not suffering.
 
Null is secretly a midge and deletes all the midge threads in solidarity with his short brothers.
One day he will trip out of his tall suit and it will all be revealed.
 
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One of the biggest qualities/flaws of a lolcows is the need to be in the center of attention. If you are a dwarf you are already the center of attention for your entire life and are probably sick of it and won't try to still do it online.

That leaves just being a crazy person but trolling a crazy dwarf is more sad than funny.

Plus he'd hit you with an ax.
 
I remembered TLC had a show about Dwarves, then I looked it up and realized they had four shows.

I know anyone on TLC is lolcow tier, but even farmers have SOME standards on what they waste time on.
 
Verne Troyer might be, if his end weren't so sad. I think he was depressed and went by the way of Amy Winehouse. I'd be depressed, too, if I required a special stepladder every time I wanted to get a beer from the fridge.
 
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