Thank you! I wanted to transition as a kid. My family took me to shrinks and psychiatrists who made me me feel guilty and ashamed. I repressed, became depressed and developed addiction,
when I was 18 I left home to transition, but the doctors in Brazil refused to treat me and I had no money left. I had to go back home, took a lot of testosterone to stop me from feeling this way. It didn’t work. I damaged my skin and hair scalp for good.
When I was 29 I had a massive breakdown, not counting a suicide event when I was 23. At 30 I started HRT but stopped because I had to deal with bigger family issues so I detransitioned once again.
I’m 31 now and I started HRT again with minimum dosages because of my work, I will have to wait for a minimum of 2-3 years to go full time. I’m now extremely self conscious about my hairline and my thin hair damaged by testosterone. I wish I could go back in years.
Doctors don’t know why my T levels have always been naturally low. I was mistaken as a girl until my 7 years old. I only dressed as one, I literally cried to my mom so she could give me Lillica Ripilica girl brand clothes, my shampoo was barbie’s and of course I loved dolls. I hates cutting my hair and I had a beautiful light blond hair with curls in the end that I also damaged for good. I hated sleeveless shirts and cried when my mom gave me boys clothes.
Anyway, I was unfortunately born in the country with the highest number of trans being murdered daily. Our health system is shit, nothing works, it’s dangerous and impossible to transition properly unless you become a call girl, what I do not want. It’s super expensive to do it all and you won’t be able to do keep your job.
The first time I started HRT my hairline lowered whitin 1 month like magic and I gained so much hair volume, my skin started glowing and my mood was better. I hope now everything turns out for the best, other than that, I only think death will be the answer. Cheers
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