*points with the camera at the sauces* "That's looks very fresh. I can tell you it was made in house".
I laughed at that, the Hammy Hands creeping into the top of the frame to open the menu for the invalid pretending to read it with the camera zoomed in, and Jack ghoulishly gurgling "
Put some buttuhr on it."
What
possible service does this student cadaver fancy himself providing with these horrible videos (aside from locals hedging their bets on any restaurant Jack has recently reviewed now being
less likely to have him turn up to spoil your appetite)?
Mr Cow Nostrils opens the "review" complaining that it's hot outdoors while he's cool indoors, admits to not having known that a restaurant he's previously eaten at has steak on the menu, then builds up to saying that he has
once again enjoyed the gud flavor of a bite of steak cut into squares by Tammy which we
know he couldn't actually taste; because he insists on encasing every bite within a cold pat of butter: These are reviews of Gordon Food Service frozen sweet cream butter masquerading as steak reviews, under the
additional pretense that the steaks would taste like anything but steak - Who in the fuck does Jack think is ordering steak from a steak house without an expectation for it to taste like steak, that they need him to provide one? If anything, he's setting people up for disappointment in the event they order anything
other than a cold, raw steak which ends up
not tasting like a tub of refrigerated butter.
The most "Jack" this video gets is when he finally begins eating the steak, and it cuts to him at home on his shart couch, whining that he has to re-film the end of the review because he 100% forgot that the menu he filmed specified which local ranch the steaks are sourced from, then apparently filmed himself in the restaurant making shit up about how his
taste buds confirmed that the steaks are
ackchully sourced from a different supplier, recently eaten at a different restaurant - Despite having
just read the facts off the goddamned menu,
on camera.
So it's a steak review that takes five and a half minutes to get to the steak review, before abruptly cutting to a fat cunt convalescing on a dog blanket while he drones on about how he had to cut out 99% of the actual review filmed in the restaurant because he's too retarded to stick with where the menu states the steaks are from when his mouth - which apparently lies to
him, too - tells him different.
Jack's mind might just blow out of his collapsed nostrils and egg shell skull if he reached the epiphany that the reason both steaks tasted the same is because they tasted like twenty ounces of cold butter, instead of steak.
