Your houseplants and gardens - Yellow leaf means underwatered AND overwatered?! What a country!

[AnOminous]

I've managed to kill a mint.

Congratulations!

My problem with mints has been I'm completely incapable of killing them even when I'm trying. They take over everything. I can't get rid of them!

 

[Lichen Bark]

Congratulations!

My problem with mints has been I'm completely incapable of killing them even when I'm trying. They take over everything. I can't get rid of them!

Man , I know this feeling. You only ever make that mistake once. In my old garden I planted two kinds of mint in a couple rows, cause' who doesn't like mint, then 5 years later I'm wondering where all the garden space has gone and where all the mint came from. I did like how many wasps and bees the mint attracted though, late summer you could literally hear all the buzzing. The patch was fun to look at, because it had such a diversity of insects feeding on the nectar.

There was one "flower" garden in an area at my place that just kept getting taken over by weeds, so I figured I would have the mint duke it out with the other shitty looking weeds battle-royale style. I dug up some of my franken mint then planted in a small corner in this "flower" garden, and over the years it has slowly beat to death every weed it's come up against. Now, when I look out at this spot I see a pleasantly uniform mint patch that had gradually taken over half of that garden. I never have to weed it because its just mint! Sometimes it gets a bit rowdy and gets hit by the lawnmower, but it's so nice to get a big whiff of minty freshness while cutting the lawn.

 

[one_time_user]

Fam, I did something really bad today.

Leading up to the bad thing, my Frankenstein cactus up and died. It was one of my favorite plants, I had it for years and the top was the size of a dinner plate. It was an idiotproof plant that I called my easy olant and one day, the whole thing just melted.

I am also working my additional second seasonal job and tired. All of that is the excuse I made to buy myself a houseplant. I was going to just get an easy peasy, cheap Alocasia or philodendron.

Does anyone remember 1000 pages back where I lamented that Christia obcordata (swallowtail butterfly plant) was so rare that literally zero places carry the actual plant in the United States and if you want one you have to get seeds from sketchy places or order from Hong Kong?

Googled a plant store, scrolling through and fuck me daddy, they have the butterfly plant. and you have to ship with the overnight option. And it's finicky, hard to keep alive and super delicate in addition to being expensive and the shipping.

Bright side, I also got buy 3 get the 4th free on cheap cheap plants.

But, I do have to ask, why do I hate myself and money so much?

 

[glioblastoma multiforme]

But, I do have to ask, why do I hate myself and money so much?

Come on now! This is an investment in your future self's enjoyment of home.

That's what I try and tell my partner anyway when he tries to claim I don't need more plants. He's retarded though, in trying to humour my plant habit he suggested getting two massive pots, not realising that is > £100 and he'd just justified the money coming from the joint account instead of my own.

Good news: I made two new beds during a DIY landscaping project and the plants haven't died yet.
Bad news: I have killed more plants. Or at least they look like they're progressing towards death and I am following their care instructions to the letter so at a total loss.

Does anyone know if its weird to just walk up to a stables and ask for manure? If any of you use rotted manure, where do you source yours? They supposedly sell it at a local DIY chain but its so much cheaper than other places that I don't trust it. The other places are more than I can comfortably afford or in higher quantities than I need.

 

[suspended animation]

care instructions

It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out that care instructions are mostly worthless. There are variables that they never take into consideration like humidity, and they often don't specify if the instructions apply to indoor or outdoor plants; like I could use potting mix to grow Hoyas indoors but if I use potting mix for outdoor Hoyas they will absolutely die. (Because indoors I can control the moisture level and it's not quite as humid, but outdoors humidity and moisture level can be 100% so the poor things just rot if I use potting soil mix.) I eventually found that a mix of bark, perlite and sphagnum moss worked for my outdoor Hoyas.

It's a long, frustrating learning process finding what works for one's particular climate. You can't even rely on zones because what works for cool zone 9 California coastal region isn't necessarily going to work for hot arid zone 9 Texas or hot and humid zone 9 Florida but that fact is rarely addressed by whoever is trying to sell you the plant.

I've almost come to terms with the fact that I'll never be able to grow all the beautiful Agastaches I see online...but you know next time I come across them in person, I will absolutely fucking buy them again.

 

[glioblastoma multiforme]

It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out that care instructions are mostly worthless.

fml. Thanks for the heads up! I had assumed that things bought locally would have locally relevant care instructions. I know there is still a lot of trial and error, and room for interpretation of those instructions- like "water once per week in summer" isn't really that useful til you figure out how much that weekly watering should be.


At least I get to feel less bad about killing plants now I guess.

 

[Emo Supremo]

fml. Thanks for the heads up! I had assumed that things bought locally would have locally relevant care instructions. I know there is still a lot of trial and error, and room for interpretation of those instructions- like "water once per week in summer" isn't really that useful til you figure out how much that weekly watering should be.


At least I get to feel less bad about killing plants now I guess.

i feel like it's never stressed enough just how much gardening is learning to play
by ear. local weather fluctuations, soil quality, humidity, yearly pest populations, type of fertilizer used, mulching, air circulation, and genetic rng within individual plants means that care instructions can be more like a suggestion depending on what you're working with. "water once a week in summer" probably means something very different for you and your plants compared to me and my plants -- and even that'll change depending on what that particular week is like. if i did that to the garden, say, three weeks ago, i would've been fine because we got rainfall then, but if i tried it now it may or not not go as well since the weather has been warm and dry.

that aside, it's been a while since emo's last garden update: my two butterfly weeds have half a dozen seed pods each that should be maturing soon and i'm thinking about what to do with them. i'd love to let them ripen and hopefully populate the valley, but some of the neighbours are lawnbrained and it'd be a waste if the seedlings just get mowed down. should i harvest the pods for a) strategic sowing in wild locations b) growing more butterfly weeds of my own for next year or c) give away/sell to other gardeners who might appreciate them too, such as my neighbours who are also ecofags themselves?

 

[NoReturn]

i feel like it's never stressed enough just how much gardening is learning to play

And "learning to play" full stop.
I used to feel AWFUL if a plant died. I mean, it's a life, and I feel I killed it or wasted it, but also a garden is a garden. Even ants have gardens. Does an ant feel bad if circumstances kill one of the ant-fungus? No. It understands things happen.
Be like ant.

 

[a hapless toad]

I swear the people who write up lists of "deer resistant plants" have never actually seen a deer.

A few minutes ago I looked out my window and noticed one branch of my pyracantha was shaking like crazy and the rest of the plant was still. Then I saw a doe peek around the side of the shrub for a second and then she went back to chowing down. I'm unsure if she was going for the berries or the leaves (probably the former) but she spent at least 5 minutes browsing the pyracantha.

The internet says it's deer resistant and yes I know that deer resistant generally means they're not going to eat it unless they're hungry and there's nothing else but it's August, there's plenty of food around, and there's a bunch of apples on the ground literal feet away.

Also the Virginia creeper IS coming from the other side of the fence so I guess I'll be spending the rest of my life battling it. I also found vinca growing near it. Fucking vinca.

 

[Emo Supremo]

The internet says it's deer resistant and yes I know that deer resistant generally means they're not going to eat it unless they're hungry and there's nothing else but it's August, there's plenty of food around, and there's a bunch of apples on the ground literal feet away.

i don't fucking get deer browsing habits. in july i was this close to strangling the local herds with my bare hands because they kept taking bites from every other plant -- including mountain mint and hibiscus -- unless i went down there every day with liquid fence, but now they're not even touching the hydrangeas with all their ~tasty new growth~. my only guess is that it was one or two pregnant/new mom does who were just eating whatever was in front of them until their fawns got big enough to graze.

 

[Lichen Bark]

deer resistant generally means they're not going to eat it unless they're hungry

I was going to be a smartass and suggest you redesign your entire garden but plant only onion species. Then I did a quick search and found that in some instances, well....

 

[Emo Supremo]

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT A MOLE CHEWED THROUGH ONE OF THE MISTFLOWERS' ROOT SYSTEM WHAT DO I EVEN DO ABOUT MOLES

 

[one_time_user]

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT A MOLE CHEWED THROUGH ONE OF THE MISTFLOWERS' ROOT SYSTEM WHAT DO I EVEN DO ABOUT MOLES

If it's really just moles, you get beneficial nematodes, spray them everywhere and enjoy mole free life

 

[Swagstika]

@Swagstika Did you set up the plant gas chamber yet?

Uhm, no, actually.
Let me explain (and powerlevel I guess)...
So Swagling #2 had to do a biology project and had just learned about what makes an organism an organism.
He asked if he could make a project about removing the thrips and not the plant and I agreed because I thought it was a good idea and showing he understands the difference between plant and animal.
So we decided to go with trying to drown them instead of gassing them, for reasons I guess I don't have to explain.
Weeeeeeeeell.
I was at work and Swagling #2 and mr. Swagstika who is a househusband, decided in their infinite wisdom to use hot water, to really-really kill the pests....
...
The burn damage is still developing.
And I'm applying my nursing to amputate the dying parts as they show.
It will survive for sure, it is a monstera after all. But it does look miserable.
Swagling #2 got lots of praise for the project and mr. Swagstika is a good dad. That is the important parts.
(Should have picked some smarter dna for my offspring, but good God is he pretty...)

 

[Pickman's Modeling Agency]

Mesclun, corn, and tomato salad:
Parents provided the corn (they have enough land to justify growing corn). Little splash of balsamic vinegar. Damn tasty.

Also, the worms are doing great. I was mortified when I saw a rat digging through the soil one morning, but placed a drilled lid on and the worms seem to be doing fantastically. They are nice and fat and I hope they will reproduce soon. (Edit: my parents have a plum tree and I collected a whole bunch of fallen plums when I visited last. The worms LOVE the plums.)

Also also, the fucking deer ate my volunteer potato plants. Fuck you, deer.

 

[Snack Cracker]

Before the first frost I need to figure out how to replant at least one cactus if not two (both smaller), and it’s very aggressive with tiny needles, not convinced gloves would help and especially not hurt the cactus.
The needle growth is very even and aesthetic.
But it’s grown big and happy on the porch, if I can overwinter them all they’re going back outside next year, but the small two need help?
Have re-potted huge monstera and pothos, but this is a different beast.

 

[a hapless toad]

Also also, the fucking deer ate my volunteer potato plants. Fuck you, deer.

A couple months ago this would have surprised me, since potato leaves are toxic and should be deer resistant but now that I've moved to my new house nothing related to deer surprises me anymore.

I've got 10 or so that visit my yard twice a day in small groups and the only thing I've not seen them nibble are the buddleia, the yarrow, the lavender, and the artemisia. And of course the fucking Virginia creeper and the vinca.

Supposedly deer resistant plants like pyracantha and gaura seem to be favorite snacks.

I don't mind the deer so far because I haven't tried to plant anything yet (and because they're keeping the yard clean of fallen apples), but I'm planning my fall planting of spring bulbs and I realized I won't be able to plant tulips. And I love tulips. Unfortunately so do they.

 

[AnOminous]

I don't mind the deer so far because I haven't tried to plant anything yet (and because they're keeping the yard clean of fallen apples), but I'm planning my fall planting of spring bulbs and I realized I won't be able to plant tulips. And I love tulips. Unfortunately so do they.

I've heard the best strategy is to mix deer repellent plants around the garden as well as plant things they actually do like to eat, so they eat those instead of your garden.

 

[a hapless toad]

I've heard the best strategy is to mix deer repellent plants around the garden as well as plant things they actually do like to eat, so they eat those instead of your garden.

I've heard that too, but I've also watched the deer walk over ripe apples to chow down on the pyracantha.

I'm not mad about it, just amused and bemused. These are town deer and they're INCREDIBLY well fed so it's not a matter of needing to eat certain plants that they don't prefer simply for sustenance. I have a feeling even if I planted deer repellent plants as well as super tasty trap plants, they'd still eat the plants I want to protect. So I either won't plant them at all or I'll plant them resigned to the fact that there's a good chance the deer will have it for dinner.

(And I can't even have THEM for dinner!)

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

@A Fucking Houseplant