Best pooping methods for a low-flow toilet

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

So I live in a run-down shithole and the land lord hates utilities, so I exist solely on Carl's Jr. and very low pressure water facilities.

Should I halve my poops and flush them that way, or is there a more efficient way?

 

[Dr. Eldon Tyrell]

If you shit sticks -> Bad eating habits, more fiber and fat. No other way to address the issue, you could attach a garden hose to the sink, I guess.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You could also run a bucket of warm water from the shower and pour it into the bowl as a manual flush.

The poop knife is probably less involved, but nobody must ever know.

How often does the landlord inspect the property? Old, non-water-saving toilets aren't that difficult to find if you lurk craigslist etc., and replacing a toilet is a hassle but doable by someone with no experience, only the will to power. It might seem like an overreaction, but being able to have a normal poop in the comfort of your own home is a quality of life issue.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

You could also run a bucket of warm water from the shower and pour it into the bowl as a manual flush.

The poop knife is probably less involved, but nobody must ever know.

How often does the landlord inspect the property? Old, non-water-saving toilets aren't that difficult to find if you lurk craigslist etc., and replacing a toilet is a hassle but doable by someone with no experience, only the will to power. It might seem like an overreaction, but being able to have a normal poop in the comfort of your own home is a quality of life issue.

Dude I am 100% doxxing this place when I finally moved, it's probably worse than you expect.

Edit: I even got little ratatouille rats.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Dude I am 100% doxxing this place when I finally moved, it's probably worse than you expect.

If they never come into your apartment, take the bull by the horns, buy a non-eco toilet cheap from someone flipping a house, and enjoy the sumptuous flushes. Nobody will notice a toilet if it's not broken (as long as you don't get one of those 1950s pink toilets).

@~nogger~ does have a point, though. Least insane answer would probably be to buy some bulk psyllium and mix up a scoop of it a day. Taking good care of your bowels has payoffs beyond the immediate. Keep the poop knife in reserve, though.

 

[Vexillology]

Edit: I even got little ratatouille rats.

That is a bonus. Get a humane trap and then keep them as pets and teach them cute little tricks

Mine know how to shake hands and roll over

 

[JamusActimus]

Just keep a bucket with water for a manual flush like @Aunt Carol said.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

If they never come into your apartment, take the bull by the horns, buy a non-eco toilet cheap from someone flipping a house, and enjoy the sumptuous flushes. Nobody will notice a toilet if it's not broken (as long as you don't get one of those 1950s pink toilets).

@~nogger~ does have a point, though. Least insane answer would probably be to buy some bulk psyllium and mix up a scoop of it a day. Taking good care of your bowels has payoffs beyond the immediate. Keep the poop knife in reserve, though.

I'm only gonna be here for like 2 more months, so I'm not gonna invest more than the landlord.
As far as hose goes, you'll have to wait for the dox to see why that isn't an option.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

Wtf is a low flow toilet, toilets flush using a reservoir of water. Open up the tank to see if you can raise the water level (done by adjusting the height of the cutoff float valve) so you flush more water per flush

Keep a plunger near the toilet to blast your turds down the drain when you get a clog too

 

[salvuserit]

Change your diet and flush twice dum dum

 

[Dr. Eldon Tyrell]

I'm only gonna be here for like 2 more months, so I'm not gonna invest more than the landlord.
As far as hose goes, you'll have to wait for the dox to see why that isn't an option.

Sooo, no overlong showerhose and non-rain shower head either?

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Sooo, no overlong showerhose and non-rain shower head either?

Dude, I wish I could show you this shit.
This is my faucet at full blast.

 

[Dr. Eldon Tyrell]

Dude, I wish I could show you this shit.
This is my faucet at full blast.

View attachment 6397307

So, it's an water pressure issue. I had that in mind but thought that's too unlikely... Holy crap. I mean this begins to feel like quora, but you did check the valves at your water-meter, right?
If that's not it, hey, at least you must've saved on the water bill...

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

So, it's an water pressure issue. I had that in mind but thought that's too unlikely... Holy crap. I mean this begins to feel like quora, but you did check the valves at your water-meter, right?

I'm not the landlord, and the landlord gives zero fucks, 1500 a month.

Edit: would you believe me if I said it gets worse?

 

[Dr. Eldon Tyrell]

I'm not the landlord, and the landlord gives zero fucks, 1500 a month.

Here, every apartment has a main valve and it's own meter, at least I think that's common...

If there's no obvious leak anywhere (and you're paying for it) it has to be near closed.
Otherwise the whole building has low pressure like that which should've raised eyebrows long ago.
I don't think waterlines clog very often and normal steel ones def. don't bend but as you said, we don't know how bad things are.
I think sometimes there are pumps? If that's broken and no one cares, yeah.

 

[MrTroll]

What kind of uncivilized place do you live in where there aren't any designated shitting streets nearby??

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Fuck it, I'm just gonna post some of this shit and if you can find me, good on you.

So here we have the shitter drain, not because the shower leaks but because the toilet does and sometimes you get a little poopie


Here we have our window enforcers, none of that dark stuff is dirt, just dead bugs that no one wants to move because it might displease our guardians. You may ask, why keep the window open and that is because our apartment has a direct line to the septic tank for the one above us and it always smells like poopy, I wish I wasn't alive.


Here you can see the giant hole in the ceiling, that most of the rodents come through, yes that is plumbing, no I don't know what it goes to. You can see in the background an attempt to cover up this hole but the landlord unfortunately stopped giving a fuck and here we are.

I'd show you the rest but those were highlights.

 

[Claude Sigma]

Stop eating goyslop.
If you switch to something close to animal diet or nocarbs, you'll reduce your shit amount by 75%.

 

[Core Theorist]

Total Slumlord Death

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

you had better be working nextdoor as a supermodel blowjob inspector or something to make anything worth putting up with this shit