Best pooping methods for a low-flow toilet

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Find the main shutoff valve, usually in the front yard. Based on the construction of the place, this looks like a home split into apartments or a duplex situation. There will be metal/plastic box with a flat lid on it buried in the yard 10-20ft from the road. Inside will be a valve, note: you might need a water key(available at hardware stores), lefty loosey, righty tighty. Your slum lord probably just turned the main halfway.
 
Wtf is a low flow toilet
A modern 'eco friendly' toilet that uses 1.6 gallons per flush or less, as mandated by the EPA. It's the same reason showerheads are awful now.

in to late '00s/early 10's you could still get toilets that actually worked in canada, not sure if they've followed in our retarded footsteps since then, so if you were willing to smuggle porcelain over the border you could have all the water you wanted with every flush without having to resort to vintage toilets as has been suggested many times in this thread

In my experience, overwatering a modern toilet just leads to it overflowing rather than meaningfully improving its flushing capacity. I'd love it if some company was selling toilets that were designed for a three gallon flush but they have the valve set to 1.6 as is the mandate, but they're easy to adjust/modify to be actually useful by the end user like some showerheads are so if that exists pls share
 
I forgot my favorite part, the little knob that does something.
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Bro why the fuck are you living here? Did you get blackmailed into it? Is the landlord threatening to kill you if you leave? Crackheads in LA live in better conditions.
The toilet not being too eager to flush a big shit seems like it ought to be the least of your worries.
 
Fuck it, I'm just gonna post some of this shit and if you can find me, good on you.

I'm trying to do that thing from Blade Runner where I keep saying "enhance" to my computer over and over until it zooms in so far that I can make out a reflection in the porcelain on your bowl and then triangulate your position based on that, but it isn't working for some reason. Can you just make it easier for me and post your dox? thanks.
 
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Flush mid shit, come back to flush again in 5 mins since the toilet is dogshit. Dawn soap if clogged. Everyone else covered everything else. You could be like spics and not put toilet paper in the toilet, but thats disgusting.
 
So I live in a run-down shithole and the land lord hates utilities, so I exist solely on Carl's Jr. and very low pressure water facilities.

Should I halve my poops and flush them that way, or is there a more efficient way?
Buy Metamucil and use it. The powder, not the pills. Start with one dose per day and, if you find the product works well after a week or two, move up to two doses. This is a fiber supplement - technically a laxative, but it doesn't make you shit so much as it makes shitting easier. Passing stools becomes very easy and you will also find yourself using far less toilet paper because of the fiber.

Shit, then flush (make sure you close the lid, you disgusting freak - when you flush without closing the lid, poop particles get everywhere). Then wipe, but only a few times before you know the toilet will struggle. Flush frequently. It's annoying, but it's what you have to deal with in an area with low water pressure.

Also, I don't recommend fucking with any pressure regulators because - judging by how guinea-rigged your place looks - the pipes might not be able to handle it.
 
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Fuck it, I'm just gonna post some of this shit and if you can find me, good on you.
View attachment 6397331
So here we have the shitter drain, not because the shower leaks but because the toilet does and sometimes you get a little poopie :)

View attachment 6397338
Here we have our window enforcers, none of that dark stuff is dirt, just dead bugs that no one wants to move because it might displease our guardians. You may ask, why keep the window open and that is because our apartment has a direct line to the septic tank for the one above us and it always smells like poopy, I wish I wasn't alive.

View attachment 6397351
Here you can see the giant hole in the ceiling, that most of the rodents come through, yes that is plumbing, no I don't know what it goes to. You can see in the background an attempt to cover up this hole but the landlord unfortunately stopped giving a fuck and here we are.

I'd show you the rest but those were highlights.
You pay 1500 a month for this? Maybe I don't have it that bad after all.
 
Fuck it, I'm just gonna post some of this shit and if you can find me, good on you.
View attachment 6397331
So here we have the shitter drain, not because the shower leaks but because the toilet does and sometimes you get a little poopie :)

View attachment 6397338
Here we have our window enforcers, none of that dark stuff is dirt, just dead bugs that no one wants to move because it might displease our guardians. You may ask, why keep the window open and that is because our apartment has a direct line to the septic tank for the one above us and it always smells like poopy, I wish I wasn't alive.

View attachment 6397351
Here you can see the giant hole in the ceiling, that most of the rodents come through, yes that is plumbing, no I don't know what it goes to. You can see in the background an attempt to cover up this hole but the landlord unfortunately stopped giving a fuck and here we are.

I'd show you the rest but those were highlights.
Yeah, uhm, pertaining my technical advice, I assumed an actual apartment not a hovel. Something like this:
Tho, going by what I saw, you might still find a main valve somewhere but maybe don't crank it fully open at once...
 
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I forgot my favorite part, the little knob that does something.
View attachment 6397369
Ok, that should be fully open, or fully closed, depending on how the lever was affixed. Tho, it's probably for the guys above :story:
The power browns out if I plug too much in.
That's very common, for all apartments in older buildings. Can't be fixed, except with over-sizing your breakers which I would not advise.

At least you don't seem to have real access restrictions to anything,
like you would in a real, multi story apartment complex where you'd want the janny on your side for his basement keys.
Edit: At least there are definitely no pumps or really much of anything which could've failed otherwise. Except for the sus looking plumbing itself... regardless, the flushing won't get better with more pressure anyhow. But do you even have a reservoir flush, or is it just a push valve "direct line" flush? If the latter: keep chasing the dragon err the mainvalve.
 
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There's an o-ring in Delta shower heads you can pull out with a pick that makes a huge difference.
Yeah, that helps but they're still not great afterwards unless you have amazing water pressure. I go as far as to cut that entire mount out to just so there's absolutely no restriction between my water line and the nozzles. With the o-ring installed the water literally just dribbles out if you have one of those adjustable double headed mounts trying to run wide open, it's the saddest thing
 
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