behindyourightnow
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 17, 2021
So, Joe is an expert at recognizing giant deformed growths that parasitize organisms via their female reproductive organs? Gosh, I wonder why.
Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"
- Thread starter CobraPlissken
- Start date
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I don’t believe this. They probably bought it at a premium from the farmers market. Huitlacoche is more valuable than normal corn, and is actually sought after, so why would a farm that doesn’t want you to pick corn let you take something far more valuable? Sure take the $40 a pound stuff, but don’t pick or touch that $3 a pound regular corn!
I think they just wanted to tweet the word corn smut and pretend they are such Mexican exotic foodies and getting one over on the Midwestern rubes who were just going to throw it away! What bullshit.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2023
Lily's IG: "Baby airshow at the apple orchard!" Polycule could not squeeze into crowded shot. Gravity's having a profound effect on Joe's unemployed jowls.
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2017
He really isn't pretending to be a woman anymore, is he? Compared to Joe of a few years ago posing topless and wearing dresses.
This just looks like regular dirty looking hipster parents.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
It wasn’t a farm but a corn maze. Probably this one. I assume it doesn’t harvest the corn, and would want corn smut removed as it damages the plant.
Unlike a razor.
It is nice to see them going to wholesome places like corn mazes and apple orchards to keep Tard Baby amused. Admittedly there are fewer degenerates to pass Tard Baby around than in NY, but just because wholesomeness is being forced on them doesn’t make it any less pleasing.
Autistic Nonetheless
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 26, 2024
He looks remarkably like my friends cousin who sold us weed and ‘was in a band’
He pawned me some amps and a bass guitar and them came back 3 years later demanding them back at a reduced price.
He pawned me some amps and a bass guitar and them came back 3 years later demanding them back at a reduced price.
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- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
Michigan is absolutely crawling with corn mazes and apple orchards, what makes you think it's this one? IIRC there are like a half-dozen near Lansing.
And yeah the corn in corn mazes is usually cow corn and not edible by humans.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
It’s because they are just regularly greasy hipster parents. They went into debt and blew through ridiculous money just to try to be too cool Brooklyn, Brooklyn!!!, hipsters.
Trying to be Brooklyn hipsters in 2024, when you’re over 35, and fifteen years after Brooklyn stopped actually being cool and morphed into botique gentrified hellscape of bespoke luxury consumerism, is just pathetic and sad.
It is amusing to see people going broke trying to be a hipsters in Brooklyn in 2023. It’s understandable if you are in a field where NYC is your best/only shot at working, but all three adults living in NYC when none had jobs there was a whole other level of retardation.
The entire reason hipster Brooklyn ever existed was due to it being cheap and close to the East Village that all the poor artists and weirdos were getting booted out of thanks to Rudy. Then gentrification managed to decimate the population that had migrated to Brooklyn once and for all by pricing them out of existence. Then people like Joe come and pay exorbitant rent to trying to capture their particular idea of a lifestyle that hasn’t existed, if it ever did, since they were college students. But I think that was the entire point, Brooklyn was Joe’s failed attempt at trying to be 22 again and he got Mallory to help fund it.
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- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
Yeah honestly the thing that really elevates these three is the horrible writing and pseudo intellectualism. They probably aren’t even the only trooned out polycule with a kid in East Lansing.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
What's funny is that you'd think that if Joe wanted to larp as a hip queer power throuple or whatever, then San Francisco is right there. I have no idea what the obsession with living in specifically Brooklyn is about - it really doesn't seem like they even made a tonne of friends or moved in the "right" social circles while there either.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Trannies are way too common there, it’s almost a legal requirement to identity as some kind of queer. Even though the phrase is usually for LA you could apply. “Too ugly for California, too dumb for NY” to their choice, because Joe and Mallory’s identity is centers on their superior intellect, so NYC must be perfect for them!
Their NYC adventure seemed to involved fizzling out in the orgy and queer scenes, not making any inroads in academia or publishing. I have to assume they tried to find gainful employment in NYC and failed. Joe is never going to do better than the salary Berkeley has provided him.
The fact that Joe’s first year in Brooklyn involved him posting gross lockdown slut photos to advertise himself and hubby, shoving his fist in Mallory’s mouth, raving about “trans hotness” and regularly mentioning going to orgies…yet only led to getting an artsy chick from the Midwest pregnant tells the story.
Only one interested in what he was selling was a bored woman reading to much fanfic and dealing with lesbian bed death in Lansing. She also thought this hipster trans Brooklyn life sounded so cool.
I have no doubt other sad women were in Joe’s DM’s but Lilly was the pick of the litter. The hundreds of thousands of queers already living in NYC weren’t enticed by him and hubby either. Which was unfortunate because I was really hoping he’d let some weird homeless tranny move in to spice things up. But I don’t think Joe can tolerate other MTF being around to dull his shine, it’s his schtick to impress the ladies. He could never compete with a real bitchy fag anyway.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2020
I don't know why anyone thinks Joe will stay with any of the trouple. I personally think he will be whoring for another woman to do it all again with. He only wants Rocco as an accessory, not as a person, and Lilly is stroking his ego the best she can right now but one day it may not be enough. Joe is the type of guy who will leave people cramping his style, even his own child, much like his dad before him. Lilly and Mal are just convenient at the moment.
Yeah, spot on.
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2023
Rocco's bolting up like a weed is going to be a daily reminder to Joe that Joe is fading into senescence.
He will be filled with a profound passion for a bucket list that requires him to leave the hausfraus and brat behind. Just for a time. Luv ya. Buh-bye.
He'll be back when he has no place left to go so that he can sponge, and brag, and be waited on.
He will be filled with a profound passion for a bucket list that requires him to leave the hausfraus and brat behind. Just for a time. Luv ya. Buh-bye.
He'll be back when he has no place left to go so that he can sponge, and brag, and be waited on.
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2020
Being that Joe is a giant deformed growth that parasitizes organisms via their female reproductive organs, (which I’m pretty sure you were saying,) the question is the answer.
So true. So jowly. So bulldog. Joe’s look in that photo comes off as an ailing Midwestern bulldog in jeans, a t-shirt, & an old ratty cardigan (probably designer & upwards of $500.)
Now that you mention it, it’s high time for some side character to smash into orbit & stir shit up. (Back in NY, a homeless squatter troon arc could have been nice. Missed opp’s everywhere in Moe’s chosen life.) I’m wondering if maybe some danger lesbian will burst on the scene? Who will be at risk of breaking the polycule throuple first?
The hitch in this plan is who pays for it all? He lived off Mallory's money in Brooklyn and now he's crashing rent-free in a house Lilly owns. He may very well have zero income at the moment if he's gone into unpaid leave from Berkeley. I don't doubt that soon enough he will want to bail out and seek new nadirs, but if so he'll have to go back to work along with it.
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2023
It came up first on Google and seemed to have the highest ratings and a long history. It seemed safe to assume they’re as lazy as I am when it comes to researching corn mazes.
In other news Tard Baby is offering a hefty 20% discount on an annual subscription ($80 down from $100) on reading her diary entries about her pretend son and assorted comedy stylings.
link | archive
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2019
Joe's picture and caption from Instagram:
If he thinks that is huitlacoche, it will make my week. Bring on the rotting cornsilk quesadillas, Joe!
EDIT: Update on the last feast at Maison Retard:
If you'll recall, Joe's chicken was roasted with dried kiwi (which he thought would taste like dried lime, a classic Persian ingredient), and topped with "julienned dried kiwi." That's what those ragged brown strips are. He didn't fucking peel it.
If he thinks that is huitlacoche, it will make my week. Bring on the rotting cornsilk quesadillas, Joe!
EDIT: Update on the last feast at Maison Retard:
If you'll recall, Joe's chicken was roasted with dried kiwi (which he thought would taste like dried lime, a classic Persian ingredient), and topped with "julienned dried kiwi." That's what those ragged brown strips are. He didn't fucking peel it.
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- Joined
- Jan 4, 2020
Oh, I don't think it will be a well thought out decision or planned until he's finished basking in the parent + chef phase. It's possible he framed one or both as abusive or just drops one instead of two, but they will be relationships of convenience until his gofundme or his cruising for women with a british accent and pseudointellectualism fetish works (if at all). There's practical points, then there's making terrible cuisine in the kitchen and posting it on insta as hot stuff points.
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2019
Well that would explain why the farm let him have it for free.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2020
Joe’s pompous culinary abortions, and the prideful zeal by which he boasts of them, reminds me of a very particular moment from an early episode of Hell’s Kitchen.
This pretentious, hat-wearing faggot steps up, calling himself a “true culinary,” and presents his abomination of a signature dish to Gordon.
He calls it “Exotic Tartare.” It contains venison, Diver Scallops, caviar, grated white chocolate, and capers. Right away, an unimpressed Gordon says that he feels like he’s getting fucked with, and asks the guy if he smokes weed.
He tries a bite, vomits into a trash can, and declares the dish one of the worst combinations he’s tasted “in 21 years of cooking.”
Joe’s attempts at cooking reminded me of this whole scene- from the turgid way he dresses, to the grandiose, inedible dross he assembles. I’d love to see Gordon critique his “dishes” lmao.
This pretentious, hat-wearing faggot steps up, calling himself a “true culinary,” and presents his abomination of a signature dish to Gordon.
He calls it “Exotic Tartare.” It contains venison, Diver Scallops, caviar, grated white chocolate, and capers. Right away, an unimpressed Gordon says that he feels like he’s getting fucked with, and asks the guy if he smokes weed.
He tries a bite, vomits into a trash can, and declares the dish one of the worst combinations he’s tasted “in 21 years of cooking.”
Joe’s attempts at cooking reminded me of this whole scene- from the turgid way he dresses, to the grandiose, inedible dross he assembles. I’d love to see Gordon critique his “dishes” lmao.