Opinion Sorry, Taylor Swift – friendships that cross political lines never work

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Sorry, Taylor Swift – friendships that cross political lines never work​

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Taylor Swift’s most divisive move yet? Hugging a rumoured Republican. Over the weekend, the singer was photographed embracing her pal Brittany Mahomes, who’s thought to be a Trump supporter. Cue the eternal question: is it possible to be friends with someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum? Is it even ethical? And can such a friendship ever have real staying power?

Mahomes, in case you’re not up to date with the intricacies of Swift’s sprawling friendship group, is the wife of Patrick Mahomes, who plays American football for the Kansas City Chiefs alongside the singer’s boyfriend, Travis Kelce. She was spotted attending various matches alongside Swift during the last football season, and even flew out to Amsterdam to enjoy one of her gigs; the singer shared photos of the two couples’ Euro trip slash extended double date.

But last month, Mahomes was met with backlash when she liked an Instagram post shared by Donald Trump, in which the former president laid out the Republican party’s 2024 election platform (policies included “keep men OUT of women’s sports” in reference to the transgender debate, and “cut federal funding for any school pushing Critical Race Theory, Radical Gender Ideology, and other inappropriate racial, sexual or political content on our children”). She later unliked the post, and then shared a message on Instagram that seemed to indirectly allude to the controversy, writing: “To be a hater as an adult, you have to have some deep rooted issues you refuse to heal from childhood. There’s no reason your brain is fully developed and you hate to see others doing well.” Never one to shy away from celeb-adjacent drama, Trump then waded in to thank “beautiful Brittany Mahomes” for “so strongly defending me” in a message posted on his Truth Social platform. “It is nice to see someone who loves our Country, and wants to save it from DOOM,” he added in signature understated style.

Swift’s politics, or what she doesn’t say about her politics, are always a hot topic, and never more so than in the run-up to the 2024 presidential election. She previously shared her regrets about staying quiet during election season in 2016, when Trump eventually beat Hillary Clinton, and in 2019 she accused the then-president of “gaslighting the American public”. Her 2020 documentary Miss Americana also spotlighted her political awakening, and later that year she endorsed future president Joe Biden. There’s currently much speculation as to whether Swift will lend her support to Kamala Harris’s campaign for the White House, and what impact a possible endorsement could have.

When Swift and Mahomes were spotted in different suites at a Chiefs game last week, it prompted whispers that the singer might have decided to distance herself from her pal over her purported political views. But then the two couples were photographed at the US Open men’s final, with Swift embracing Mahomes (Tay ’n’ Trav were also videoed enthusiastically singing along to “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness, which is a whole other issue).

Despite this show of affection, though, I’d predict that this friendship is just as doomed as the romances Swift wrote about on The Tortured Poets Department. Why? It’s not just because their platonic PDA has already prompted criticism on social media – Swift is a star who is always conscious of her public perception – as this is a problem that can affect you whether you’re a billionaire pop star or an average civilian rolling your eyes at questionable Facebook posts shared by someone you went to school with. A friendship that spans political divides is one that’s built on shaky foundations; it’s liable to collapse at any moment. Countless people will have learned this the hard way in the wake of the Brexit referendum in the UK or the 2016 election in the US.

When we make friends as adults, we tend to be drawn to people who share our values. That’s not to say that you can’t get on well with someone who has, for example, mildly divergent views on how much council tax we should all pay, but there are some overarching issues that feel fundamental to a person’s worldview: their stance on women’s rights, for example, or their beliefs on abortion or climate change. If you feel strongly about those issues, spending time with people with opposing viewpoints might well feel like a betrayal of your principles.

As nice as it might be to believe that we can all benefit from reaching out to those on the other side of the political divide, in practical terms it’s just not very realistic – because unless you’re constantly careful of avoiding drama, every conversation has the potential to be a minefield. In an election year like this one, there will be topics that both parties would have to studiously avoid, for fear of an all-out row or a passive-aggressive concession to “agreeing to disagree”. You’re only ever one heated debate away from causing serious offence, unless you’re prepared to shut off that side of your personality completely.

It’s certainly possible to be polite or even warm acquaintances with someone with very different beliefs to your own (and, dare I say it, to look cheerful when hanging out with your partner’s colleagues, while trying your best to avoid thinking about their dodgy social media posts). But build a deep, lasting friendship? I don’t think so.
 
Maybe it's impossible... if you're a complete sperg with extremely poor social skills whose entire existence revolves around your political ideology and you have zero self control.

It's shockingly easy if you have other areas of commonality like, say, being famous elite millionaire women who are seeing high profile players on the same football team.
 
As nice as it might be to believe that we can all benefit from reaching out to those on the other side of the political divide, in practical terms it’s just not very realistic – because unless you’re constantly careful of avoiding drama, every conversation has the potential to be a minefield.
This is only true if you're annoying political sperg, like the author. I'm sick of current day "EVERYTHING IS POLITICAL!" agenda.
 
Cue the eternal question: is it possible to be friends with someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum?
Literally Hitler was the best friend of a jew. If a war vet with PTSD that came from an abusive household can maintain a friendship better than you, then I don't know what to tell you
 
The thing people don't get about not talking about politics is that you have to get good at pretending not to notice when the politics leaks out around the edges.

If you've decided not to have political disagreements that ruin Thanksgiving dinner, that means not taking the bait when the family wine aunt shoehorns a dumb Orange Man Bad joke into the conversation. You just keep moving like you didn't even hear it. Can you pass the stuffing, please? Didn't Kathy do a great job this year? Thanks, I'd love some gravy, too.

I think a lot of people do this stupid "worst of all worlds" thing where they won't initiate a political conversation, but they're secretly waiting for someone to say something so they can come up with witty comebacks and turn the whole thing into a shitshow.

Yes, there's a point where you need to tell someone they need to be quiet if they won't stop trying to bait people with politically controversial statements, jokes, etc. But when you do it, you don't have to interject your viewpoint into it. You don't have to make it a takedown of their politics. It's not an actual obligation to enter into a debate for "your guy" any time someone disparages him.

Jim, I've seen so many political ads this year, I was really looking forward to a dinner where we think about the things that bring us together, not what drives us apart. We can talk about it another time, but I don't think this could lead anywhere good, and we all want to be able to enjoy Sandy's pumpkin pie together.

The biggest mistake you can make is entering into a partisan thing. Be the person who stands above that and don't even try to get a glancing blow in. If they want to make a big scene and make everything about politics, make them be the only one who's playing the game, so it's clear to literally everyone what's happening. You stick to "everything is delicious, I'm so grateful we could all be here tonight" and let them be a fool.
 
Everything has to be political with these people because they're fanatics.

Your food choices? Political!
Your entertainment? Political!
Your job? Political!
Your friends? Political!

Everything has to be part and parcel of the great revolution. There can be no space where you are not bombarded by their political ideology. No escape, no respite just politics politics POLITICS! After all, if Mr and Mrs Joe Average start thinking for themselves...well they might come to the wrong conclusions and we can't have that!

It's straight out of Das Kapital
 
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