Patrick Alan Melton / Nobody Likes Onions / "THE QUEEN!!" - Obese STMS a-log, "Dabbleverse" creep, "jokes" about children starting an OnlyFans (at 15), scouts X to find photos of them, offers child vocalised TTS. Argued for "ethical generative AI CP", conceded awkwardly with a laugh amid backlash.

AltisticRight said:
wip WIP thread
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i super apologize for not making the thread like i promised months ago, seasonal depression hit me hard this year. but here's where you can get most of the pre-2020s info about Melton


Other fun bits to mention about Melton back in 2007 he weighted 350 pounds, had a shoe size of 14. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He is right handed and has type two diabetes. He had a 1350 SAT score, and a GPA of 3.9. His dad died when he was 25 and his mom died when he was 8. Both his parrents were alcoholics. He has a half sister from when his dad re-married. His dad died on April 16th 2005 and was a veteran. I think its also episode 95 where he talks about hosting pictures of a teenage boy with multiple naked adult women around him on his forum. He used to be quite the big shot in the early 2010s and had everyone from Bill Burr to Ari Shaffir to Tom Segura to Joe Rogan to Whtiney Cummings to Eliza Schlenger to Tom Papa to TJ Miller be a guest on his podcast.

he was the number #1 Bitcoin podcaster back in 2013-2014 and got at least 100 bitcoins from that (don't know if he sold any) He also admitted to abusing drugs pretty much all the time. His show NLO never got huge on itunes because of some fuckery he did that got him a ban in the early years but he was still one of the top comedy podcasts in the early 2010s. roughly on par with Marc Maron in 2011. Patrick's Rekeita esque downward spiral started in 2016 and that's why he's been a streamer the last 5+ years almost exclusively.

Melton always had people hating him though because he tried to be the White Patrice O'neal, and that really got people coming after him from all angles. He's also the reason the entire LA comedy podcasting scene really exists, he gave Redban the suggestion and literally is the guy that taught Billy Burr how to record podcasts. Patrick Melton also has a masters degree in computer stuff and is from north florida. that and him being a fatass is why i used to joke about him being Josh's real dad.
 
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Soyjak Enjoyer said:
I like onions
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i'll double post, Nobody Likes Onions was chosen as the name for the podcast because the show is so old (2005) that it was still an internet nerd meme to make quick websites as jokes which meant buying domain names and Patrick brought that to use as an "The Onion" type spinoff of his blog "Nobody Likes Me" which he abandoned once the podcast took off in 2006. IIRC Patrick didn't win a podcasting award for best comedy podcast but he accepted the award because the guy who did win was "too cool for school" to go to the podcasting expo. Also podcasting was so small that him being the heel of the podcasting expo was a big deal.

And another thing. When Libsyn in 2006 was forced to cancel a pedo supporting podcast from being hosted on their servers Patrick stuck up for the podcasting group in the name of free speech (a la Null and hentai back in 2016)
 
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Get the rope Macaulay! said:
i'll double post, Nobody Likes Onions was chosen as the name for the podcast because the show is so old (2005) that it was still an internet nerd meme to make quick websites as jokes which meant buying domain names and Patrick brought that to use as an "The Onion" type spinoff of his blog "Nobody Likes Me" which he abandoned once the podcast took off in 2006. IIRC Patrick didn't win a podcasting award for best comedy podcast but he accepted the award because the guy who did win was "too cool for school" to go to the podcasting expo. Also podcasting was so small that him being the heel of the podcasting expo was a big deal.

And another thing. When Libsyn in 2006 was forced to cancel a pedo supporting podcast from being hosted on their servers Patrick stuck up for the podcasting group in the name of free speech (a la Null and hentai back in 2016)
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Sounds like you know a lot, please share any funny!
 
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Tiny Chinaman said:
Melton watch with Sven = Top shelf Redbar
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I remember the turn. Sven just was trashing Melton on the show for an hour and eventually convinced Mike that Melton does indeed suck. So Mike started saying all the things he hated about Melton too. Then they buried Patrice Mussman under a hundred hours of content so he couldn't really respond to any individual criticisms.

Mike also owns a custom made Patrick Melton plush that's naked and has a micro penis. I'm not sure if he still has it or if he lit it on fire during an episode.
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Drag of da smoke bite of da wing

The episode where they turn on Melton is called WEED-BAR (01-24-15)
 
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AltisticRight said:
Sounds like you know a lot, please share any funny!
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this is all from listening to the first 150 episodes and a handful of others after that. i was using it as like a gym motivator and then stopped going, there are a lot of interesting episodes, like the first 25 are insanely funny and got me kicked out of the gym. but the quality drops rather quickly. Its crazy because he really is like the inventor of so many common podcasting and internet tropes. He invented the podcast network in 2006, He invented being an internet critic, a la MATI and Redbar. He is responsible for i think the code using to make an RSS feed. And once you think about how many things exist because of his inventions in a way hes sort of the reason this website even exists.

from what i saw from researching, the quality drops hilariously hard from episode 25 until like episode 500, then he moves to LA and finally can get all those high profile guests i was mentioning. I think my favorite part, especially about listening to the early episodes is seeing what a heavy internet user from that era would think about stuff. Like when i said it was like the original MATI, i wasn't fucking kidding. The same way Null will whine about trannies or bad articles or internet lolcows, Patrick was literally mocking internet lolcows since fucking episode one back in 2005. And just for a guy from a rather liberal background that brought into the liberal media, its crazy to me to think that the internet as a whole was extremely more conservative than i was led to believe. Forums in general were a lot closer to the beliefs of A&N here than i would have assumed.

I will say it is sort of sad how none of the people Patrick mentions until 2010 have anything resembling an e-celeb career now, outside of Mike "redbar" David of course. but episode 500+ feels almost like a Mary Sue esque fantasy with how it feels like every 5th episode is another huge name. Like Tom Segura or Ari Shaffir or other huge LA comedians practically banging on the door demanding to be let on.

Seriously though, the first 25 episodes are an average of 40 minutes each, (if you need them just ask) but they're incredibly funny.

I will say from what "superfans" have said the 2020s Patrick is like a whole nother person compared to pre-2016 patrick.
RollerGator said:
. Sven just was trashing Melton
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did you know Sven called into redbar in november 2011 begging Mike to shit on redbar and Mike got pissed off and banned him? Pretty crazy how if Mike wasn't such a faggot back then we could have gotten Melton watch literally years ahead of time.
 
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AltisticRight said:
Nobody Likes Onions
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Anyone who claims that basically rejects Western civilization itself, where onions, carrots and celery are the fundamental Holy Trinity of any real meal. Ever eat granny's pot roast? Guarantee it had onions, carrots and celery. Got fancy and went all beef bourgignon? Onions. Carrots.

Any real food? It will have onions.

This guy is a disgusting subhuman uncultured faggot who will, inshallah, die of ass cancer in prison after being convicted of being the pedo he obviously is.

Every real human not only likes, but loves onions.
 
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Get the rope Macaulay! said:
did you know Sven called into redbar in november 2011 begging Mike to shit on redbar and Mike got pissed off and banned him?
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And then like a decade later Sven and Mike became friends…before Mike flew Sven over to Arizona to be his first in-studio guest in 70 years then Sven accidentally revealed on a drunken hotel phone call that Mike David wears diapers because apparently Mike treated Sven like dogshit
 
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Nate Higgers said:
because apparently Mike treated Sven like dogshit
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Mike always treats Sven like dogshit. outside of London, Mike has constantly done crazy shit to Sven including in the late 2013 Sven Week where he bragged about stealing money from Sven. He also would record normal conversations with Sven and use them as episodes for his show. Imagine someone doing that to you. just recording without permission and using it as show material.
 
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Balldo's Gate said:
EDIT: Melendez also confronted Melton in Atlantic City in February.
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0:30 It was related to his kids as well? Faton cant help himself...

Get the rope Macaulay! said:
Its crazy because he really is like the inventor of so many common podcasting and internet tropes. He invented the podcast network in 2006, He invented being an internet critic, a la MATI and Redbar. He is responsible for i think the code using to make an RSS feed. And once you think about how many things exist because of his inventions in a way hes sort of the reason this website even exists
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Are those his claims or you know those things for a fact? Did he work for Netscape in the 90s?

The man that invented the upper case I Internet, had 100 Bitcoin and mentored all the big comedians in LA lives in a cardboard box in Vegas solely owned by his roommate who he asked in marriage 2 years ago yet they remain unmarried. Sure.

To be clear, I´m not doubting your info and you seem to know more than anybody here about the fat pedo but if you have clips of him claiming those things. it would be funny because we can add self aggrandizing faggot to the list.

Edited for clarity and avoid double posting.
 
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Re the marriage:
This dude claims he is recently married as of May 23
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But there´s no register of a Patrick Melton marrying a Danielle Cohen (we know his "girlfriend" name is Danielle out of this clip) in Clark County, so maybe they married outside of Nevada?
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1000 shows celebration with a literal "plz clap" moment:

 
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I first heard of this bum years ago when I started listening to Redbar. Mike David had a hard-on big time for Melton. I was shocked to see Melton pop up in the gay "Dabbleverse" years later. What wasn't as shocking is that he was able to semi-successfully grift those drooling morons
 
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