Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Sicko Hunter]

Cobes is incredibly evil, cartoonishly evil, but he is pathetic and hapless to such a degree he is completely harmless to anyone outside of street trash and his own family. He isn't "too nice", he is conflict avoidant.

Cobes isn't “ cartoonishly evil” he's a mentally stunted manchild with a terrible temper who flips out and says a bunch of edgy shit that is utterly impotent like you pointed out in your post.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

Cobes reaffirming he isn't going to let Jessica in this time is gonna make the Fourth Visit even more hilariously sad.

 

[Bifocal Lens]

Mead update and rant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UBwiypjw4M&ab_channel=KingCobraJFS TWU

I guess we finally got our answer regarding the "civil assist" thing, the boy did call the cops on her. He called a non-emergency number because he's an upstanding citizen. But alas, she brought alcohol.
The boy's biggest weakness is that dank 7$ vodka and baconator combo twu

 

[Molly Millions]

The BOY is having a nic fit!

Also the vinyl is a no go, the new album will be on tape

 

[Hennimore]

"I feel sorry for Bjork because Jessica Boyle is one of her biggest fans."

 

[SMOCAINE 4]

Mead update and rant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UBwiypjw4M&ab_channel=KingCobraJFS TWU

“Jessica Boyle has… borderline personality disorder”

“My trolles are too old to trick or treat, but too young to go to the bar and drink.. so they see Cobra having a good time and go woah woah woah we can’t stand that! Knowmsayin?”

He may be onto something.

 

['Ole Dente]

He used to bake something called ice cream bread years ago. It was just melted ice cream and flour baked at 420 degrees. Sometimes he'd add stuff like sugar and peanut butter to it, but never went super crazy like he does with his current recipes. I'd love to see him bring that recipe back, and load it up with the usual bacon, doritos, etc. Sucks he's too lazy to do anything like that now.

Do you know about his T-Rex Burger Challenge thing?

'Bout 5-6 years ago, something like that I'd like to say, Wendy's had this fuck-clobbering mountain of a hamburger called the T-Rex Burger, it's like 12 patties on a burger. Cobra hears about this and says "Oh yeah I'll do the challenge, I promise I'll do the challenge for my fans." He is enthusiastic about this.

Cut to 3 years later he still hasn't done the challenge, he occasionally spins a yarn about making the attempt off camera but that's clearly a goddamn lie like he wouldn't film himself doing that, so a paypig shoots him a message and says "Cobra I will literally pay you $100 right now to go do the fucking T-Rex Burger challenge." He says his usual "Look you don't HAVE to but if you send that to me now, I'll do it." Paypig sends him the $100, he doesn't do it.

Cut to a year later and finally, after being pestered by documentary makers, he finally steps back into the Wendy's which haunts his dreams and attempts the T-Rex Burger Challenge and he technically fails and goes "Dood I did it, it is what it is" and life went on and nobody cared.

If you ever wanted to know what Josh Saunders is like, that's the whole package right there. Everything you need to learn about Cobra is right there in that story and it can be applied to every interaction, stream, life event, anything related to Josh it can be applied to as a manual for what's going to happen.

 

[Sugarfree Cigarettes]

"I would never call the cops on Jessica" Therein lies the problem lol. People who are being stalked don't typically open the door for their stalkers - he gets the same post nut clarity with his sex dolls/toys. Outta sight outta mind until she's at his door again and he's craving her dave's hot and juicy.

 

[Ponzo]

She gives me the "im your aunt and molesting you" vibes in these pictures

 

[Mushroom King]

She gives me the "im your aunt and molesting you" vibes in these pictures
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The picture of Josh on the couch with her narration of how ill he is, that raises so many red flags for me. She's using him like an accessory. Is he .. becoming Puff?

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

So I've been writing up some of the lesser homeboys and delving into deeper Jordanian lore, and I came across this comment on a 2 year-old video from everyone's favorite swamp witch:

Not really that important, but man is that creepy in a "liking your ex's photos from 8 years ago" creepy.

 

[Jeffy Jefferson]

Mead update and rant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UBwiypjw4M&ab_channel=KingCobraJFS TWU

So now he's claiming at 22:12 timestamp that she was asking how to use his shotgun so she could blow her brains out.

 

[bonified retard]

So I've been writing up some of the lesser homeboys and delving into deeper Jordanian lore, and I came across this comment on a 2 year-old video from everyone's favorite swamp witch:
View attachment 6411588
Not really that important, but man is that creepy in a "liking your ex's photos from 8 years ago" creepy.

I pointed this comment out a couple days ago. This is probably the friend he was hanging with that she called recently.

Spoiler: spoiler

Yeah, he's made a few appearances. Banjo Bill's brother is the other random guy in that weird egg video Darf made with Cobes. Also, I was just looking up the Breaking plates with Banjo Bill and Dave video, and noticed NAL commented on it 5 months ago. The video is 2 years old, so she most likely searched his name to find this video. I didn't even consider him as a local point of contact for NAL, but now I gotta wonder...

So now he's claiming at 22:12 timestamp that she was asking how to use his shotgun so she could blow her brains out.

Not a new claim. He mentioned this in one of his other recent videos about NAL's last visit.

 

[Shiba Inu Strike Force]

I used to bartend and the rock bottom I saw first hand was a dude who would come in and order water and bitters. I had no idea what to charge, so I asked the owner and he said nothing. Well it turns out bitters isn't just something used for flavor in Old Fashions and other cocktails, but it has alcohol as well. So this old dude would come in every few days and just drink water with bitters for hours until another bar owner in the area caught on to this and let all of us in on it too. Turns out the reason he only came in every few days is cause he had a rotation of local bars he'd go to and do this.


While I also share this belief, mine goes a bit deeper as well as I think it ties into his masculinity. He's always had issues with his masculinity and he copes by trying to peacock it with his "big muscles," how much bacon and grease he uses in his cooking, his constant talking of how a guy should treat a girl, and his alcohol and tobacco use as examples. He thinks all of these things make him an adult AND a man. It's part of his autism where there is no such thing as nuance to him so he takes all these things very surface level and he mimics what he sees "real men" do.

I know of an extract company that had to put a lock on their dumpsters to keep the bums from drinking the rejected lemon and vanilla extract.

 

[Hennimore]

So now he's claiming at 22:12 timestamp that she was asking how to use his shotgun so she could blow her brains out.

I'm not sure if he is just doing his usual thing of "If I don't acknowledge it then the viewers won't know it happened" or if he genuinely doesn't know the video of him sticking a shotgun under his chin was released. He may think the only video of that night was the one Jessica cut up and released to make it look like Josh was going to shoot her. He probably doesn't follow Messica and definitely doesn't know about her Rumble channel.

 

[deeman]

The picture of Josh on the couch with her narration of how ill he is, that raises so many red flags for me. She's using him like an accessory. Is he .. becoming Puff?

Joke's on her though, Boglims doesn't need pants.

 

[BrosefJumanji]

She gives me the "im your aunt and molesting you" vibes in these pictures
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View attachment 6411543View attachment 6411546View attachment 6411547View attachment 6411550

Isn't that basically what she is doing? Mentally unstable old hag taking advantage of a mentally challenged younger man.

It is staggering how ugly she is. Sitting next to the bogwitch The Boy almost looks like a normal, non-retarded dude who is just a trashy eccentric.

 

[BrosefJumanji]

"The only reason why I let her in the first time is because I made a mistake. I made a fucking mistake. She had alcohol..."

Ooof. Let her in because... booze. The Boy has no chance unless the bogwitch is physically prevented from going back to Casper.

Edit: Ha! "And now, people found out because of her." She fucked up The Boy's bigbrained plan to let her in, drink her booze, fool around in secret while lying to his fans. He is so wholesome.

Double Edit: One of the best videos/rants from The Boy this year.

 

[biggacracka]

The picture of Josh on the couch with her narration of how ill he is, that raises so many red flags for me. She's using him like an accessory. Is he .. becoming Puff?

You either die a boglim or live long enough to borrow underground for the winter

 

['Ole Dente]

I'm interested to know what things she's heard or seen around that house. Not that I'd trust the claims much but there's always a glint of truth to things. I completely buy that his alcoholism has swollen his feet to awful degrees and that he hasn't had a good pair of pants in a long while. The bloat shows in his face and the weight he's gained has likely put him up a couple of pant sizes.

I wonder what else is going on.