How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[equinsu_ocha]

Good luck and hopefully you get healthy.
What flavour of ADHD do you have? If I was sober right now I would say "welcome and hope you get better" but having ADHD is nothing to celebrate, it's just another answer to the question "Why is my brain so fucked up"? Sorry about your blood pressure issues, I'm going through the same shit since I found Concerta decreasingly effective (increases mental stamina but little else, then my tolerance built up) and can't try out Vyvanse until I fix my blood pressure, and since my Concerta isn't very effective anymore (TOLERANCE BUILDUP YAY) excerting actual mental effort is really difficult unless I pull yet another fucking all-nighter to research blood pressure-friendly meals or whatever. I hate being a useless manchild and finding nothing interesting. Sorry for my drunk and frustrated rant and I hope your ADHD issues get better with your meds.

Dude... thank you for sharing. It's honestly a huge comfort to know someone else is going through the same bullshit I am. I have combined, so just extra barrels of fun. This is going to sound nuts but try to find an acupuncturist in your area. I found a damn good one that doesn't believe in woo woo crystal shit. He strikes me as an actual physician and has helped me reduce my blood pressure. I shit you not. The frustration is so real and at least we can have a little comfort knowing we're not alone in this. Hang in there my friend, I pray it gets easier for us.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Sick with flu.

Other than that, good I guess. I was staring down my last year of graduate school. Up until very recently I still wasn't sure I was actually going to make it out. You run out of funding after a while. But then I put together my dissertation chapter and sent it off to the professor and felt a sense of finality. They also gave me my other project to do, and it's a replication study, ie just copy someone else's work. Now it seems very manageable. Good students come in with their dissertation planned out, I fell in with a professor who hands people topics if they don't know what to do (but is also very scatter-brained, will abandon you for long stretches of time with no explanation of what he even wants).

But there's also a job market, which I put no preparation into either. We're basically guaranteed jobs, but not necessarily good jobs. I don't care if I get a good job by their conventional measures, but it is a concern nonetheless.

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

6 months off the cigarettes today, according to the app I've been using. That's 'long' months, so really it's a little longer. I've saved four figures, gained two weeks of life, and avoided ~1,500 cigs, apparently.

Miss it every fucking day. True addict brain. I've upped my caffeine consumption since, and have noticed that my nail biting has intensified a touch.

Sure, the cash savings are nice, but I've just been spending it on other shit. I couldn't even go back if I wanted to, as cigarettes are now so expensive per pack it would be criminally retarded to do so.

I wonder how I'll feel in another 6 months.

 

[AnOminous]

6 months off the cigarettes today, according to the app I've been using. That's 'long' months, so really it's a little longer. I've saved four figures, gained two weeks of life, and avoided ~1,500 cigs, apparently.

Miss it every fucking day. True addict brain. I've upped my caffeine consumption since, and have noticed that my nail biting has intensified a touch.

Sure, the cash savings are nice, but I've just been spending it on other shit. I couldn't even go back if I wanted to, as cigarettes are now so expensive per pack it would be criminally retarded to do so.

I wonder how I'll feel in another 6 months.

I quit smoking tobacco well over 20 years ago. I have yet to regret it. Every time I see cigarettes on sale at a price that strikes me as abolute insanity, I remain glad about it.

While I still sort of miss Dunhills, almost all other cigarettes were really vile and disgusting and only consumed for nicotine content.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

6 months off the cigarettes today, according to the app I've been using. That's 'long' months, so really it's a little longer. I've saved four figures, gained two weeks of life, and avoided ~1,500 cigs, apparently.

Miss it every fucking day. True addict brain. I've upped my caffeine consumption since, and have noticed that my nail biting has intensified a touch.

Sure, the cash savings are nice, but I've just been spending it on other shit. I couldn't even go back if I wanted to, as cigarettes are now so expensive per pack it would be criminally retarded to do so.

I wonder how I'll feel in another 6 months.

It is always hard at the start, but in the future you will see it as the correct decision. Never smoked regularly, but I am proud of you, keep it up. I'd recommend trying something new, like a hobby or a new media, so you could get the dopamine there and distract yourself.

 

[Pale Empress]

Working on actually figuring out what the hell is wrong with my brain. I've been soft diagnosed with ADHD by people adjacent to the medical field, but all the doctors I've contacted in order to get a professional evaluation are booked up at least six months in advance and seem to completely ghost me once they find out I don't have medical insurance and want to pay out of pocket. The American medical system is totally fucked. I had been 51-50'd a couple of years ago and was well aware of how hysterically broken it all is, but somehow I tricked myself into forgetting.

6 months off the cigarettes today, according to the app I've been using. That's 'long' months, so really it's a little longer. I've saved four figures, gained two weeks of life, and avoided ~1,500 cigs, apparently.

Miss it every fucking day. True addict brain. I've upped my caffeine consumption since, and have noticed that my nail biting has intensified a touch.

Sure, the cash savings are nice, but I've just been spending it on other shit. I couldn't even go back if I wanted to, as cigarettes are now so expensive per pack it would be criminally retarded to do so.

I wonder how I'll feel in another 6 months.

Good on ya, and good luck. Did you cold turkey it or are you doing patches/pouches/gum?

I've been considering quitting but realistically it probably won't be until the new year. I'm four months alcohol free which has been its own feat, quitting smoking at the same time would be a stressor too far (at least that's how I'm justifying it to myself).

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Procrastinating and sitting outside listening to birds and wind in trees.

Newb bird nerd sperge:

Wtf, at least 50 Robins came through here at low levels, all at once, going tree to tree at my eye level-ish. Never seen that before. Guess migrating, though despite the name (turdus migratorius, which I just learned) I don't think I realized they did.

But I added 5 8 9 new birds to my bird sound ID app* in like 15 20 30 minutes! Plus respotted a few others I'd already saved.

+3 added 4 days ago.

* I've had it for about a year, used it once or twice last year then remembered it again this week.

Sorry did not know where to put "hey, I went outside and listened to stuff today" and if I call my dad about it we'll be on the phone two hours.

But though I have underlying anxiety about work that needs doing, I get peace from and really do love and appreciate the constant nature right outside my door, all day, everyday, and I feel very fortunate for it. Even if I'm hearing a jet and earlier traffic from a large road about a half-mile from me.

If I survive this week I am going for a long hike next weekend.

 

[Brain Power]

I'm getting so much deja vu about the thing with haitians in USA it's ridiculous. It's a complete carbon copy of the shit that happened here starting with Bachelet 2. It's like they forgot to introduce (((the plan))) over there and now they're speedrunning to get to the same situation we're currently in.

 

[Chef Red Pill]

I'm doing pretty good, I just made my own san marzano tomato sauce with some tomatoes I harvested from my garden. Threw in a couple of lemon boys from my other plant because, why not? Four pounds of tomatoes produced a quart of sauce. I'm still debating on wether I'm going to make meatballs with the sauce or if I'm going to mix it in with fresh raviolis made at the local pasta shop.

 

[Flavius Claudius Julianus]

Working on actually figuring out what the hell is wrong with my brain. I've been soft diagnosed with ADHD by people adjacent to the medical field, but all the doctors I've contacted in order to get a professional evaluation are booked up at least six months in advance and seem to completely ghost me once they find out I don't have medical insurance and want to pay out of pocket. The American medical system is totally fucked. I had been 51-50'd a couple of years ago and was well aware of how hysterically broken it all is, but somehow I tricked myself into forgetting.


Good on ya, and good luck. Did you cold turkey it or are you doing patches/pouches/gum?

I've been considering quitting but realistically it probably won't be until the new year. I'm four months alcohol free which has been its own feat, quitting smoking at the same time would be a stressor too far (at least that's how I'm justifying it to myself).

I went nightmare mode cold turkey, no pills, gums, vapes, snus, tapering, absolutely nothing.

I had some WILD withdrawal symptoms for the first ~6 weeks or so as my lungs and respiratory system dealt with the shock and healing themselves. Pretty unpleasant experience all around, but I rode it out.

Just curious, how much were you drinking that you felt you had to quit entirely?

 

[Pale Empress]

I went nightmare mode cold turkey, no pills, gums, vapes, snus, tapering, absolutely nothing.

I had some WILD withdrawal symptoms for the first ~6 weeks or so as my lungs and respiratory system dealt with the shock and healing themselves. Pretty unpleasant experience all around, but I rode it out.

Just curious, how much were you drinking that you felt you had to quit entirely?

What kind of symptoms were you getting?

It varied but I was averaging probably a pint a day on days that I worked, and up to a 750 bottle on my off days. Thankfully I didn't have any egregious withdrawal symptoms, the worst was insomnia and anxiety in the initial week. I work in the service industry and alcohol consumption is very much hand in glove with that career and the lifestyle that comes with it, so the most difficult part in the early days was just not giving into peer pressure and the convenience of having a couple shots to take the edge off.

 

[56 others]

Fixed the distributor, blew the head gasket

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

I started the new day position on the 5th. I had to work my normal shift on the 4th, get home at 11:15 and sleep for maybe 4 hours to be up in time for a 6 AM start. It's been tough getting used to being up early in the morning, but I'm slowly getting into the routine. The most important thing is that the kids love me so far, especially a girl in 2nd grade that gives me a big hug every day at lunch. Warms the heart, yknow?

Feeling much more positive about life now. Wife is happy, I'm happy, our dog is happy. Can't ask for much more.

 

[Neighborhood Curmudgeon]

I'm ready for another long week at work. It always feels like I'm truly alive during my weekends and vacations, but at work I'm in autopilot mode.

 

[DeutscheKatze]

insomnia, headache, lovesick

 

[56 others]

I started the new day position on the 5th. I had to work my normal shift on the 4th, get home at 11:15 and sleep for maybe 4 hours to be up in time for a 6 AM start. It's been tough getting used to being up early in the morning, but I'm slowly getting into the routine. The most important thing is that the kids love me so far, especially a girl in 2nd grade that gives me a big hug every day at lunch. Warms the heart, yknow?

Feeling much more positive about life now. Wife is happy, I'm happy, our dog is happy. Can't ask for much more.

You dont realize how shit any non-first shift job is until you make it back to first shift.

 

[LonesomeDud]

I am currently being held captive in a very small prison. Last night, one of my captors forced me to sing Blippi's "Monster Trucks" song until the other captor fell asleep. They are forcing me to sleep in a very small bed in a very small room while sleeping on the side of the bed by the wall because "they need to get up more." After four hours of uncomfortable sleep, I nearly stepped on them crushing them getting out of the bed.

 

[Towoman]

Working on actually figuring out what the hell is wrong with my brain. I've been soft diagnosed with ADHD by people adjacent to the medical field, but all the doctors I've contacted in order to get a professional evaluation are booked up at least six months in advance and seem to completely ghost me once they find out I don't have medical insurance and want to pay out of pocket. The American medical system is totally fucked. I had been 51-50'd a couple of years ago and was well aware of how hysterically broken it all is, but somehow I tricked myself into forgetting.


Good on ya, and good luck. Did you cold turkey it or are you doing patches/pouches/gum?

I've been considering quitting but realistically it probably won't be until the new year. I'm four months alcohol free which has been its own feat, quitting smoking at the same time would be a stressor too far (at least that's how I'm justifying it to myself).

why do you care about some literally whos "diagnose" ? if you had issues because of adhd you'd have gotten in touch with docs years ago instead of now. wouldnt you by now also have found ways to live with the retardation? just sounds like you are manifesting issues for yourself

If there's any listless young 20-something males reading, I highly recommend "shitty" jobs that will get you off your ass,

yea goym go work the low paying filthy jobs
better you than one of the chosen people

 

[Pale Empress]

why do you care about some literally whos "diagnose" ? if you had issues because of adhd you'd have gotten in touch with docs years ago instead of now. wouldnt you by now also have found ways to live with the retardation? just sounds like you are manifesting issues for yourself

I've had mental health issues for my entire adult life, beginning in my teens. Until recently I've dealt with those issues by self medicating with alcohol and various illicit substances. It's an untenable longterm approach. I haven't had any kind of meaningful mental health evaluation from a licensed practitioner at any point in my life, although I'm acquainted with people who work in healthcare albeit not in mental health. Based on the experiences I described to them, they offered their limited insight and encouraged me to seek help from a licensed professional.

 

[Outer Space Traveller]

6 months off the cigarettes today, according to the app I've been using. That's 'long' months, so really it's a little longer. I've saved four figures, gained two weeks of life, and avoided ~1,500 cigs, apparently.

Miss it every fucking day. True addict brain. I've upped my caffeine consumption since, and have noticed that my nail biting has intensified a touch.

Sure, the cash savings are nice, but I've just been spending it on other shit. I couldn't even go back if I wanted to, as cigarettes are now so expensive per pack it would be criminally retarded to do so.

I wonder how I'll feel in another 6 months.

Congratulations! Have you noticed something other than nail biting or caffeine? Perhaps wanting to eat sweets and such? My grandmother upped her sugar intake ever since quitting smoking 10+ years ago, only now she has to control it due to diabetes.