Patrick Alan Melton / Nobody Likes Onions / "THE QUEEN!!" - Obese STMS a-log, "Dabbleverse" creep, "jokes" about children starting an OnlyFans (at 15), scouts X to find photos of them, offers child vocalised TTS. Argued for "ethical generative AI CP", conceded awkwardly with a laugh amid backlash.

[Gobermental Supervisor]

Please Aaron, send him a C&D to not mention your daughter, remove all content mentioning her and then be ready with the receipts to slap him 2 weeks later with the instances he missed.

We need more Balldoverse-adjecent lolsuits

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

which is a re-upload of a previously striked video

this is whats hard, because unless you know how Redbar just destroyed and flagged and struck everything you don't realize how big this guy was. Its like trying to talk about what life was like pre-smartphone. All that history is fucking gone now. Its like trying to convince people that the Killstream was hot shit in 2018 or convincing people Rekieta was a big shot. Like i promise you he was good, its just he spiraled so hard. Its like comparing Terri Schivao from 2004 and 1989 they're so different in ability yet the husk of failure and fatness you see today isn't the one from 15 years ago

 

[Nihil Jung]

Patrick Melton once bragged forever about being invited to do a USO comedy tour for the troops in the middle east. It was eventually revealed he wasn't doing his stand up set, he had joined the cast of some gay music parody/improv troup and shittily had to dance and sing.

Most embarrassing thing? In his like 30 day trip to the middle east he wore the same pair of jeans. Every. Single. Day.

 

[Farmer9876]

So Nick decided to be like Dex and found himself a fat pedophile.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

i'd like for you to keep up that same attitude when random nobodies on the Internet make a 100 page thread gossiping and insulting your children

Ethan Ralph doesn't give two flippy fucks about his kids. He's only ever used them as a prop and a cudgel, so that idea is pure copetardism

As for this fat pedo faggot Melton; if he really wants to inspire laughter, he should meet up with his bffs Vito and Dax Herrera (aka Juju the Cow, a man who gets fucked in the ass while dressed as a cow) and do the sex offender shuffle in a busy highway.

 

[Annealing Crater]

Another socials link, not in the OP but I may have missed it elsewhere in the thread.

https://x.com/pmelt

A twitter account for himself as a stand up, separate from the podcast account. He hasn't used it since last year. He gets almost no engagement, 0-4 likes per post with 11.5K followers and roughly 7,000 tweets. One of the biggest responses was him shilling his stand-up album ($6.00), with a whopping 14 likes and 2 comments.

It must not have sold well, as he soon released it for free on September 21st (2 likes) before seemingly abandoning the account.
The account was made in 2008 but the first available tweets start in 2016. Roughly the same level of engagement throughout.

His YouTube uploads go back 15 years. Most of his uploads reach a few hundred views, with some reaching 2-5 thousand ,and a few standouts like the previously mentioned Tom Segura video with 30,000. His videos finally start consistently entering the thousands in views one year ago when he starts a-logging Steel Toe and joins the Dabbleverse.

Just Prior:

Steel Toe Content Begins:

His YouTube livestreams only go back three years, starting with episode 1381. Earlier episodes are apparently behind his paywall. What is available follows a similar pattern to the videos: hundreds of views per stream, until breaking into the thousands with the Steel Toe a-logging one year ago. Was he truly an immense figure in the Sektur regularly hitting millions of views, making the Boogie bucks, and being a household name in those paywalled archives? Or did his livestream content follow the same pattern as his standalone videos and stand-up career?

I've gotta be honest, the fantastical stories about how he used to a be a big deal A-list comedian and tech genius who invented the internet, streaming video, and podcasting are getting increasingly hard to believe. If anything survives from the Halcion days of this long-forgotten era, by all means someone post it if they have it. It would be funny if he actually has fallen that far.

 

[You're MDNWU]

Such an influential character for comedy and even the internet. Nothing we know now would've existed without him!

Yet, no one knew who the fat retarded pedo even was until he started taking the balldo down his throat.

 

[Friedchickenfan]

My favorite joke involves pedos walking into a bar.


(In Minecraft)

 

[Captain Manning]

this is whats hard, because unless you know how Redbar just destroyed and flagged and struck everything you don't realize how big this guy was.

Yes, 14k subs. Most of his videos pre-Aaron have a few hundred views. I can clearly see how big a deal he was.

 

[Burd Turglar]

This dude isn't just fat, he's pussy repellant fat. Me thinks he's jealous that someone could slay coked out pussy while he's struggling to see his own penis.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

I can clearly see how big a deal he was.

5 years ago you trusted a guy most people know as a balldo loving swinger with your life, he was literally your emergency contact and he couldn't even pay off a ticket. It makes just as much sense as me hyping up this weird fuck

 

[Desktop User2]

I've gotta be honest, the fantastical stories about how he used to a be a big deal A-list comedian and tech genius who invented the internet, streaming video, and podcasting are getting increasingly hard to believe. If anything survives from the Halcion days of this long-forgotten era, by all means someone post it if they have it. It would be funny if he actually has fallen that far.

The RSS feed is obviously bullshit, he was in middle school when it was implemented. I also didn´t find any mention from Bill Burr of him, not even a picture together, but I didn´t look that far into it, that´s why I asked @Get the rope Macaulay! if he knew those things for a fact or if it was second hand info, i.e. Fat Pedolton running his mouth.
If you have clips of him making these claims @Get the rope Macaulay! and you are into documenting him on this thread, please post. Or at least if you could point us towards the time he made those claims, it would be helpful.

 

[Fletch_still_lives]

One thing that needs to be touched on is Patrick's hatred of women. He fuckin hates women. Before he exclusively featured Aaron, he would showcase fat and/or disgusting slop, such as Raine the "Planet with a Palate", Heather Gillespie (from Love after Lockup), or Vegas comediennes (Angie Krum & Summer Sinclair), on his show at least once a week.

One that he has covered recently showcases his absolute malice towards anyone with a vagina

Kate Meaney - Daughter of legendary homo comedian Kevin Meaney, she came across Patrick's radar and he started mocking a video of her singing at Chrissy Mahr's wedding. Kate did not like this and reported 5 of his videos on Youtube, which set Patrick off. He then dedicated an entire 4 hour show to shitting on her exclusively. Melton has made comments that Kate has claimed to have taken to the police, but nothing has arisen from that so far. This has evolved into a toxic back and forth, which escalates every time Kate decides to poke herself back into the dabbleverse from her mother's imposed exile on her.

Here are some highlights:

Melton threatening Kate Meaney Reddit post

NLO tweet

NLO website with the Kate Meaney tag (notice how deranged some of the titles and episode descriptions are)

WATP clip where Patrick was the guest solely so he could shit on Kate Meaney

I will try to add more as I think of it.

Other women off the top of my head that Melton has ridiculed and may need to be looked into further: Keanu Thompson, Haley Sacks (Mrs Dow Jones), APRIL ANDERSON/IMHOLTE, various female "fans" that he shits on, any woman that appears on Ray Devito's podcast.

 

[TwinPeaksEnjoyer]

Imagine making me feel sorry for Aaron, Melton !! Congrat for being a creepy retard.

 

[johnnynoname]

Yet, no one knew who the fat retarded pedo even was until he started taking the balldo down his throat.

it's ironic that THE QUEEN!! looks like the AI result of what the personification of what the internet looks like yet Patrick literally knows NOTHING about the internet, and internet culture


HE DOESN"T EVEN KNOW WHO ETHAN RALPH IS

 

[Guntkvd]

 

[johnnynoname]

as an aside, Jesse Podawful sometimes does a PPP impression

It's a really good impression actually

and it helps that he's currently the same size as PPP

the Dabbleverse.

the thing that THE QUEEN!! consistently says he isn't a part of btw

EDIT: apologies for the double
i read the post i'm quoting after i posted above
TLDR- i'm a legit faggot...kpeaceoutbye

 

[genericwhitemale]

Reposting my post from the Rekieta thread here

I would be interested in a Patrick Melton thread, as he's basically an a-log of an a-log. My first exposure to him was a video documentary on Dan Nainan, an infamous comedian who would rely of hacky racial jokes, would lie to bookers by fraudulently claiming to be opening acts for bigger named comedians and would psychotically add other comedians who made fun of him to a Richard Nixon-style enemies list, all of whom would be sent embarrassing emails where he gloats about all the money he's made and calls all of them losers. The documentary can be found here:

https://youtu.be/CB1NXGAZjb8

Melton, still going by his Nobody Likes Onions moniker, managed to get Dan for an interview and brought one of his biggest critics into the call to argue with him. Seemed like a good interview.
Fast forward several years and Rekieta starts hanging out with Aaron. All of us in this thread collectively discover there's a huge community of Steel Toe haters that have been existing right under our noses. I saw Melton's Nobody Likes Onions channel come up in a feed of mine one day and remember him from the Nainan video. Then I see that literally every video he does is talking about Steel Toe (and the occasional ribbing at Mersh, which is funny). He even did some live panel with Dax and Vito the Pedo, and I guess now he's going all in on supporting team Rekieta just because he hates Aaron that much. It's not surprising that he's so Mad at the Internet about Aaron he's willing to name drop his kids in videos, but if he willingly chooses to associate with people like Juju and Pedo then he will get what he fucking deserves.

 

[Scout Trooper]

Something about the name of this podcast triggered a memory. I knew I had heard of it before. But vaguely.

It turns out he's the one who had that trainwreck Dan Nainan interview that basically finished the burial of Mr. 7-11 Sushi's career.

I really want to get through this video but it's going to be impossible.

I'm not even going to get into how Patrick immediately screws up the audio and starts getting an echo while explaining that the audio he and Dan hear is the same audio that is being broadcast (computer science genius, with 3 PhDs from MIT, by the way).

Patrick's interview skills are nonexistent.

He has no sense of timing and can't tell when Dan is getting into a story beat so he keeps clumsily ruining the flow. Patrick interrupts CONSTANTLY to make pointless clarifications, to point out that HE hasn't been paying attention to what Dan is saying, and to try to shoehorn in confusing unfunny "jokes."

Patrick even interrupts Dan in mid-sentence to argue with him about how it's impossible Dan didn't know that corporate speaker comedian was a career option because Dan was an adult (?). I guess I missed that class too because the first time I heard about it was from Dan when I heard the clip on the Oki video.

I'm 8 minutes into this. It's complete garbage thanks to that fat idiot.

This was uploaded in May 2015 which would make it smack in the middle when these Patrick Melton historians are claiming he was some great comedy figure.

Other comics might have tolerated Patrick because he had a platform but he objectively fails at every comedy fundamental here in addition to being an incompetent interviewer. I have to chalk any positive recollection anyone has of his comedic talent up to their autism or brain damage.

 

[Desktop User2]

I did a pretty poor job of research, his name recognition is shit, I should´ve gone with the podcast name. He seems to have 3 shows with Burr:
Pod Logs (A)
The nigress fucker used to record his podcast on Melton´s studio (NLO 709).
Their interaction is dogshit but for the little that I listened is Burr´s fault with the unending weak fat jokes lying completely flat. It´s kinda amazing to listen to the coal burner to suck that hard.