Patrick Alan Melton / Nobody Likes Onions / "THE QUEEN!!" - Obese STMS a-log, "Dabbleverse" creep, "jokes" about children starting an OnlyFans (at 15), scouts X to find photos of them, offers child vocalised TTS. Argued for "ethical generative AI CP", conceded awkwardly with a laugh amid backlash.

[Nate Higgers]

and it helps that he's currently the same size as PPP

6’7”, 280lbs, and completely unstoppable

 

[Desktop User2]

Seems like people were already sick from his "jokes" about raping kids in 2011 (NLO 709)

 

[Nate Higgers]

Seems like people were already sick from his "jokes" about raping kids in 2011 (NLO 709)
View attachment 6418047

Is that Bill Burr in the clip talking to Melton?

 

[Guntkvd]

He had Bill Burr on, and it didn't even move the needle.
Juju squeezed a whole career out of one Doctor Phil appearance. Melton has to squeeze Steel Toe's balls daily just to survive.

 

[Desktop User2]

Is that Bill Burr in the clip talking to Melton?

Yep. Seems hot in the LA scene to joke about raping kids.

 

[Accidental Protege]

the thing that THE QUEEN!! consistently says he isn't a part of btw

Maybe I missed it in the OP but why is he called THE QUEEN!! ?

 

[Nate Higgers]

Melton has to squeeze Steel Toe's balls daily just to survive.

I know Jesse doesn’t get a lot of love on Kiwifarms but he did have a very solid point when he was talking to Comedy She-man in the video clip you posted on the previous page. Melton would not get as many views as he does now, if Aaron Amhole stopped doing shows for one whole week.

Melton would probably go back to covering “dabbleverse” shit like the hand puppet guy does or the talking potato did. The only wrinkle in that idea is that Amhole is too broke to be able to afford not doing shows for a week. Hell, if Aaron was able to not do shows for two weeks he’d probably starve Melton out into covering sektur adjacent drama now that he’s cozying up to Rekietamine.

 

[Desktop User2]

He had Bill Burr on, and it didn't even move the needle.
Juju squeezed a whole career out of one Doctor Phil appearance. Melton has to squeeze Steel Toe's balls daily just to survive.

I guess by the fact he recorded his pod at the pedo studio and how much Bill is bombing, it should be pretty early on his career so there may be some validity to the claim that Fatrick was important for Burr.

 

[Guntkvd]

I know Jesse doesn’t get a lot of love on Kiwifarms but he did have a very solid point when he was talking to Comedy She-man in the video clip you posted on the previous page. Melton would not get as many views as he does now, if Aaron Amhole stopped doing shows for one whole week.

Melton would probably go back to covering “dabbleverse” shit like the hand puppet guy does or the talking potato did. The only wrinkle in that idea is that Amhole is too broke to be able to afford not doing shows for a week. Hell, if Aaron was able to not do shows for two weeks he’d probably starve Melton out into covering sektur adjacent drama now that he’s cozying up to Rekietamine.

Jesse is right that Melton doesn't have an audience. He has people who hate Aaron and Stuttering John. He might survive on Dabbleverse fumes without Aaron, but that's also going nowhere. Melton has no interest in cultivating an audience, he's a pothead going through the motions. Sitting on his ass all day, doing drugs and eating.
Edit: Just compare Melton to his more successful clone. Vedo always tries to find a new way to go viral, he has fans, several projects, and he's in every comment section shilling himself.

 

[Neetness]

Maybe I missed it in the OP but why is he called THE QUEEN!! ?

I would also like to know. Is it bc he's a closeted homosexual?

 

[Annealing Crater]

Yep. Seems hot in the LA scene to joke about raping kids.

I remember Dax Herrera (aka Juju the Cow, the man who likes to dress up like a cow and get pegged in that ass) said something like this near the beginning of his multi-year pedo meltdown about Cuties/Veto. About how child rape is the one offensive "joke" you will never be cancelled for in the LA scene,.

For those desperately trying to make it in the business, they need to be cool with raping children and signal to everyone that they're cool with it so they get invited to the child rape parties that all the big wigs attend. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) it seems that Dax, Veto, and Melton are too repellent to have received the fabled invite to success, despite their best efforts.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

Yes, 14k subs. Most of his videos pre-Aaron have a few hundred views. I can clearly see how big a deal he was.

The peak of his success was before YouTube streaming really became a thing.

Basically, @Get the rope Macaulay! is right. NLO was one of the most successful comedy podcasts, but almost by default, because it was one of the only comedy podcasts, because it was one of the first.

What happened is that when podcasting got popular, other comedians came in who were more successful and totally ate Melton's lunch.

According to Josh Denny, Melton was clearing $10k monthly at his peak in the early 2010s as well as over $100k over 4 years in revenue from marathon shows, while Denny did it for free.



That's about $150k/year during this period not including any of his other comedy work according to Denny. That's pretty impressive considering at least the subscription was through his own site; remember, Patreon was only founded in 2013.

This was uploaded in May 2015 which would make it smack in the middle when these Patrick Melton historians are claiming he was some great comedy figure.

Probably the best metric that's available for the whole time period is Google Trends. According to Google Trends data, NLO's peak in terms of search traffic was actually shortly after he started his show in 2005.

By the mid-2010s it went down to ~0 and only started to recover after Melton started alogging Aaron in every show (see the little uptick at the very end).

While the early 2010s period may have been the peak in terms of income (not sure about that) and certainly in terms of getting actual big name comedians on his show after he moved from Florida to California, Melton probably was coasting on existing fans on this point.

 

[Guntkvd]

The peak of his success was before YouTube streaming really became a thing.

Basically, @Get the rope Macaulay! is right. NLO was one of the most successful comedy podcasts, but almost by default, because it was one of the only comedy podcasts, because it was one of the first.

What happened is that when podcasting got popular, other comedians came in who were more successful and totally ate Melton's lunch.

According to Josh Denny, Melton was clearing $10k monthly at his peak in the early 2010s as well as over $100k over 4 years in revenue from marathon shows, while Denny did it for free.

View attachment 6418818

That's about $150k/year during this period not including any of his other comedy work according to Denny. That's pretty impressive considering at least the subscription was through his own site; remember, Patreon was only founded in 2013.


Probably the best metric that's available for the whole time period is Google Trends. According to Google Trends data, NLO's peak in terms of search traffic was actually shortly after he started his show in 2005.

By the mid-2010s it went down to ~0 and only started to recover after Melton started alogging Aaron in every show (see the little uptick at the very end).

While the early 2010s period may have been the peak in terms of income (not sure about that) and certainly in terms of getting actual big name comedians on his show after he moved from Florida to California, Melton probably was coasting on existing fans on this point.

View attachment 6418759

Is this when Redbar a-logged Melton? Around 2018-19.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

He seems to have 3 shows with Burr

Told ya!

this when Redbar a-logged Melton? Around 2018-19

That was in 2016. Mike was basically a fanboy of Melton during the early years and by 2013 was one of many comedians who Patrick only hung out with to mock.

Patrick Melton was pretty big in the early 2010s, it's a big reason why Josh Denny and Tom Segura and others were jacking him off. Once you're at a certain level in comedy you can choose your own openers and middles meaning you can give friends jobs. Josh's entire career comes from Patrick letting him open for him.

This is also why Dick still hangs out with Vito, Vito is a "better talent" in the stand up world and let's Dick open for him.

Just based on height and talent and especially humor 2015 probably was his height

People forget how it was almost a world competition to be as offensive as possible because it pissed off evangelicals and since evangelicals are Republicans and Republicans are evil it meant you were fighting the good fight by making them mad.

The insistence Patrick Melton or James Gunn had for offensive jokes comes from the same place as those slut walks and "proud to be a whore" feminists or those "ironic racists" like Nick Mullen all come from which was that making an upright Jeb bush style conservative cry was the height of achievement.

People don't seem to realize how dystopian the modern world would look to someone from a decade ago but it's true.

 

[JustStopDude]

Once you're at a certain level in comedy you can choose your own openers and middles meaning you can give friends jobs.

When and where was this?

I'm not saying that Melton is open mic night fodder, but I have a real hard time believing that he was anywhere close to getting his drinks comped, let alone telling the owner of a comedy club who is opening for him.

 

[Desktop User2]

The insistence Patrick Melton or James Gunn had for offensive jokes comes from the same place as those slut walks and "proud to be a whore" feminists or those "ironic racists" like Nick Mullen all come from which was that making an upright Jeb bush style conservative cry was the height of achievement.

I really dont know why you insist on trying to pedo wash Fatrick. Absolutely no one will buy it here, it´s pretty clear he has lust for kids, people are complaining about it for more than a decade. I appreciate the info you can offer us since you are an avid fan, specially if you can link it, regarding his early career tho.

 

[Guntkvd]

Patrick Melton was pretty big in the early 2010s, it's a big reason why Josh Denny and Tom Segura and others were jacking him off. Once you're at a certain level in comedy you can choose your own openers and middles meaning you can give friends jobs. Josh's entire career comes from Patrick letting him open for him.

Can you confirm or deboonk my assessment? Melton strikes me as a guy who will demand pay for participation in other people's podcasts/streams. I see him as a lazy bum who can't adapt or get out of his comfort zone.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

to getting his drinks comped,

thats an even lower bar my friend, literally most comedians get drinks comped, in a lot of comedy clubs even the open mic comics get comp'd drinks. Plus its not me talking about him selling out stadiums, Big Jay oakerson would bring two openers on the road with him and this was back when he was clearing only 20k a year from stand up, the only reason Big Jay and Patrick could remain so fat while making so little is all the comp'd food.

Patrick also being able to do that is like saying he knows how to create a webpage, sounds like more than it is.

Can you confirm or deboonk my assessment? Melton strikes me as a guy who will demand pay for participation in other people's podcasts/streams. I see him as a lazy bum who can't adapt or get out of his comfort zone.

this is where you all hate me but the last time i watched an entire episode of Melton was back in 2016, i watched 2 or 4 recently trying to see if his Aaron coverage was good but he honestly does suck that much, i think he even said "yeah i understand if you watch at 2x" because of how boring the show is. No way in hell its been good in a decade. I'm sorry. Even being this thread's "captain save a ho" for the subject i'm not going to say he's funny anymore. I even watched his stand up special, not only does he use jokes he wrote 20 years ago, its mostly dogshit.

I don't think i laughed once. Meanwhile his episode after Katrina has got me kicked out of places. North Florida doesn't give a fuck. Null was probably considered the biggest supporter of niggers just because he still considers them human.

 

[RuPaul’s Drag Racist]

Not only does he a log Aaron, he goes after Johnny Krutches. This is Part One of Two from after the Mersh superchat incident. THIS NIGGER SPENT OVER FIVE HOURS SHITTING ON JOHNNY. Why? How do you get 5+ hours out of a fat alcoholic making a crippled man cry?


Archived and archived


Patrick if you’re reading this, you’re a fat bitch-titted faggot, you reek of Soylent and pedophilia. You come off as a genuine psychopath and you use edgy humor to vent your very real sado-sexual fantasies. You’re not funny, you’re not original, you’re not even edgy anymore because there’s a dozen “men” (I use that term loosely) who look and talk just like you at any big city comedy club. “Oh it’s just a joke bro, you can’t take a joke? I just constantly joke about raping pre pubescent children lol, get it?” Honestly, you should just fucking kill yourself, so should your fans.

 

[Guntkvd]

That's some weak sauce. Nigga can't even cut a promo.