Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

Nick’s racism is unfunny because it’s not as unhinged and niche (but a bit warranted) as Null’s nor as just open as Metokur or Sam Hyde.

It’s just Nick dropping them out of no where for shock humor. There’s no build-up. It’s a non-sequitur or he breaks context. He’ll go on how he loves black people and then it abruptly turns racist. It’d be funny if there was a Mike Meyers to react to Nick, but it’s just him looking at the camera after he says it and sniggering.

Add in buttholes and catholic priests and you got rackets “comedic style”

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

I'm pretty sure that was coined by @Himedall All-seeing Waifu, not something this balldo-wearing skelly came up with himself.

He is aggressively - like a black bitch - stating his monogamy on this:

As much as I would love to claim sole credit, I believe that I was quoting (or paraphrasing) something Nick said.

That said, it is my favourite euphemism, hence its inclusion in the OP.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Add in buttholes and catholic priests and you got rackets “comedic style”

There’s no build-up. Shock comedy only works every so often as an opener or a closer. Or when it’s a part of another joke like Norm MacDonald’s 9/11 jokes where the joke is mostly in Norm’s delivery.

 

[ChromaQuack]

MrSen clarified.

I had thought I heard him say kiwi farms too. I am relistening now.

...he mentioned that someone posted something trying to smear him and cancel him that went nowhere at one point in time. I guess someone tried to use kiwifarms and other locations as a personal army and naturally failed.

No, that is just Senpaiishere aka MrSen perpetually buttmad about how anyone who followed weeb wars knows he likes jerking his cock to illustrations of little girls getting fucked.

Spoiler: Matter of fact striking this faggot is righteous if you ask me.

You can also check this post for more information about why he buttmad.

 

[Swole McPole]

If we have learned anything about the Rekieta’s, it’s that they will find a way to take a vacation at any possibly opportunity and they’ll never skip one

If vacations are when you get your swinging done, it makes sense that they'd be important to the Rekieta tribe.

 

[Vibralldo]

So basically he’s a non practicing streamer now too?

There’s been so many topics he could have covered, without mentioning his own legal issues, that old Nick would have had decent success with e.g. Trump assassination, presidential debate etc.

Now that the school year has started again I guess he can’t use the Columbian marching powder as a pick-me-up to find the energy to stream.

Kayla is zonked out and useless, April is doing god knows what and Nick is chauffeuring his kids to those midnight piano recitals. Such is life.

Nick doesn't like streaming about trials and the news, especially since Rekieta Law was never a law channel. He wants to stream about his sex life because he's an exhibitionist pervert that gets off on exposing others to his degeneracy it helps his fans who may not have as much sexual experience (and it's funny and weird!)

There’s no build-up. Shock comedy only works every so often as an opener or a closer. Or when it’s a part of another joke like Norm MacDonald’s 9/11 jokes where the joke is mostly in Norm’s delivery.

Nick completely lacks any sense of rhythm in his comedy. All his racist non sequiturs sound like he's trying to quickly sneak them by you, as if he's ashamed of saying them which makes it unfunny.

"He stole them (likeablackmanstealsfromwalmart) So, about the Balldo..."

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Nick completely lacks any sense of rhythm in his comedy. All his racist non sequiturs sound like he's trying to quickly sneak them by you, as if he's ashamed of saying them which makes it unfunny.

"He stole them (likeablackmanstealsfromwalmart) So, about the Balldo..."

He’s trying to be funny, but neither he nor Dax are actually good at comedy. Both their brands of humor effectively operate on trying to be outrage comics in a safely edgy way or a way for them to avoid sounding actually edgy. Dax just makes fun of fat women and defends pedophiles. He can’t do a Sam Hyde and read about AIDS patient zero while dealing with hecklers, he can be a bit character on Dr. Phil 30 years ago where they’ll edit out him stuttering through some lady getting a zinger on him.

Rekieta is even worse because his racial humor doesn’t have a transition into it anything. He can’t read a crowd and sideline material. He just dumps shit and goes over on his time like a cunt.

 

[Shig O'nella]

His jokes would be something along the lines of...

Give or take.

You have made an enemy this day.
One Nick is already too many.

 

[Not Who You Think]

Fun Fact: Nick Rekieta "Cloned" His Penis

In "hilarious" and "weird" Rekieta fashion, Nick had made a mold of his genitals at some point by using a product called Clone-A-Willy. Kayla laughed at Nick, but only because the process was funny. Nick broadcast this information while on vacation at swinger resort Hedonism II while celebrating his marriage in 2022.

After divulging this information, Nick thoughtfully read a superchat from a viewer who wanted a toast to celebrate his first child being born.

So, from what we know so far, Nick has trouble performing sexually (likely due to alcohol/substance use) and when he does finally get started he can't always finish because of his heat allergy. Also, Nick has made a replica of his penis, has confessed to wearing a Balldo to penetrate his wife, and has a "field kit" of sex toys. So many indications sexual frustration and impotence.

I would rather not think about what happened to this... item, or if/how it was used by Nick. That said, I figured it would be fair warning if the bodycam footage of the bedroom comes out and people are left wondering how a dildo can suffer from whisky dick.

 

[Potatoherder]

I skimmed back in the thread until before the tweet was posted and didn't see anything about it but it was archived so i may have just missed it. I wonder what his announcement will be.

https://x.com/RekietaLaw/status/1835866269569990709

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/M7phX

 

[Melty Butter]

>I have one Black friend

Or 1 + 3/5 ? (bad joke)
Nate got a shower call or they're amicably chatting. This is from Nate's stream today on P. Diddy. Timestamp 8:44.

Nate laughed at the Superchat and said, excitedly:
"I just spoke with Nick! He and I have-have been -had - a conversation. It was interesting... but he's pretty good."

(I assume the Superchat references a prior civil case against P. Diddy that Nick must have reviewed.)

My money is on a shower call.

 

[AltisticRight]

I skimmed back in the thread until before the tweet was posted and didn't see anything about it but it was archived so i may have just missed it. I wonder what his announcement will be.
View attachment 6426415

https://x.com/RekietaLaw/status/1835866269569990709

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/M7phX

An announcement of an announcement, well done skelly.

 

[Dimension Sniper]

I would rather not think about what happened to this... item, or if/how it was used by Nick.

Maybe it was the prototype for the 5k locals gift. C’mon, how FUNNY and WEIRD would that be?

 

[Pelican Bones]

I skimmed back in the thread until before the tweet was posted and didn't see anything about it but it was archived so i may have just missed it. I wonder what his announcement will be.
View attachment 6426415

https://x.com/RekietaLaw/status/1835866269569990709

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/M7phX

"Wow guys, I'd really love to do a show but you know how it is dealing with these whiney brats, always wanting something, wanting food and attention and whatever. Aside from those two, I've also got these 5 keeeds 'n sheit."

Imagine how busy this guy would actually be if he had a job instead of no job.

 

[3MMA]

View attachment 6423683

Spoiler: Weirder versions

View attachment 6424482View attachment 6424645

That Drexel version is fuckin’ rad. This template fits Nick perfectly, like this meme was made for Nick & his ilk (cucks who never grow up) from the start.

November 30, 2023 just got recommended for me today, the very trustful LAWPOPE:

12:18, with the straightest indignant face: "there is this weird shit going on that my wife is a whore that they are reporting on, that I´m some cuck that likes to watch and get fucked by men but actually we are monogamous and we´ve only had sex with each other."
Few days later, the Imholtes were already streaming from the Balldo mansion...

Made a 47 second clip of just that portion quoted above, for ease of reference & posterity, but mostly because it’s fun to see Nick claim that he’s aggressively monogamous while acting absolutely seething mad towards SEAN:

In "hilarious" and "weird" Rekieta fashion, Nick had made a mold of his genitals at some point by using a product called Clone-A-Willy. Kayla laughed at Nick, but only because the process was funny.
View attachment 6426260

If Kayla ever decides to get revenge on Nick or otherwise go against the grain, all she needs to do is laugh at him. Enjoyed the subtle implications between the lines in that clip above. Particularly the part where Nick claims that Kayla, “talks too much” as she’s just laughing at his penis molding hobby, while he himself is talking his cuck ass off, streaming live from Hedonism II during their marriage celebration in between Kayla’s bull-fucking bouts where he watches furiously (as only a cuckold can,) from the chair in the corner. He has a mold of his flaccid penis though, which isn’t much as far as consolation prizes go, according to Kayla’s laughter & the fact that Nick wears the balldo in the first place.

 

[Step out of the car sir]

"He stole them (likeablackmanstealsfromwalmart) So, about the Balldo..."

This is worded like a twitter comic artist writing the dialogue of a racist strawman character that their self-insert corrects and smugly laughs at.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Fun Fact: Nick Rekieta "Cloned" His Penis

In "hilarious" and "weird" Rekieta fashion, Nick had made a mold of his genitals at some point by using a product called Clone-A-Willy. Kayla laughed at Nick, but only because the process was funny. Nick broadcast this information while on vacation at swinger resort Hedonism II while celebrating his marriage in 2022.

After divulging this information, Nick thoughtfully read a superchat from a viewer who wanted a toast to celebrate his first child being born.

View attachment 6426260

So, from what we know so far, Nick has trouble performing sexually (likely due to alcohol/substance use) and when he does finally get started he can't always finish because of his heat allergy. Also, Nick has made a replica of his penis, has confessed to wearing a Balldo to penetrate his wife, and has a "field kit" of sex toys. So many indications sexual frustration and impotence.

I would rather not think about what happened to this... item, or if/how it was used by Nick. That said, I figured it would be fair warning if the bodycam footage of the bedroom comes out and people are left wondering how a dildo can suffer from whisky dick.

I'll take the layup.

It's good to know Nick did that because he can go fuck himself.

How long as it been since he's streamed anyway? Are his lawyers bribing him with liquor or something?

 

[RodgerDodger]

Fun Fact: Nick Rekieta "Cloned" His Penis

In "hilarious" and "weird" Rekieta fashion, Nick had made a mold of his genitals at some point by using a product called Clone-A-Willy. Kayla laughed at Nick, but only because the process was funny. Nick broadcast this information while on vacation at swinger resort Hedonism II while celebrating his marriage in 2022.

After divulging this information, Nick thoughtfully read a superchat from a viewer who wanted a toast to celebrate his first child being born.

View attachment 6426260

So, from what we know so far, Nick has trouble performing sexually (likely due to alcohol/substance use) and when he does finally get started he can't always finish because of his heat allergy. Also, Nick has made a replica of his penis, has confessed to wearing a Balldo to penetrate his wife, and has a "field kit" of sex toys. So many indications sexual frustration and impotence.

I would rather not think about what happened to this... item, or if/how it was used by Nick. That said, I figured it would be fair warning if the bodycam footage of the bedroom comes out and people are left wondering how a dildo can suffer from whisky dick.

So what you're telling me is Nick is probably fucking himself in the ass with a replica of his own dick? Which seems to be a perfect summation of who Nick is, and his levels of narcissism. Nick lives naught but himself. In every way possible.

 

[Airstrip One]

Fun Fact: Nick Rekieta "Cloned" His Penis

It's funny right up until the moment when a few of these cloned Rekieta penises escape into the wild and start breeding. You can say goodbye to any cocaine trees you have on your property, like the one your grandpappy planted from a seed; the one where your daddy built you a tree fort, weeks before his tractor accident. There'll be no more bobbing for coke apples on Halloween once a hatchery of Muttonium Rekietus are established in the roots. Those tiny inchworm fuckers will strip the fruit right off the branches.

Nothing can prepare you for the spectacle of your dog - your faithful companion - bounding from out of the undergrowth, tail wagging, with one of Nick Rekieta's cloned penises in his mouth. Your dog doesn't know any better. He is a gud boi unprepared by nature and evolution for such degeneracy.

It is very much in character for Nick Rekieta to want to play god with his dick. The courts should have realised this and confiscated it along with his guns.

 

[Goku 1000000 O]

Fun Fact: Nick Rekieta "Cloned" His Penis

In "hilarious" and "weird" Rekieta fashion, Nick had made a mold of his genitals at some point by using a product called Clone-A-Willy. Kayla laughed at Nick, but only because the process was funny. Nick broadcast this information while on vacation at swinger resort Hedonism II while celebrating his marriage in 2022.

After divulging this information, Nick thoughtfully read a superchat from a viewer who wanted a toast to celebrate his first child being born.

View attachment 6426260

So, from what we know so far, Nick has trouble performing sexually (likely due to alcohol/substance use) and when he does finally get started he can't always finish because of his heat allergy. Also, Nick has made a replica of his penis, has confessed to wearing a Balldo to penetrate his wife, and has a "field kit" of sex toys. So many indications sexual frustration and impotence.

I would rather not think about what happened to this... item, or if/how it was used by Nick. That said, I figured it would be fair warning if the bodycam footage of the bedroom comes out and people are left wondering how a dildo can suffer from whisky dick.

Aaron also claimed that Nick tried to watch him fuck Kayla so that he could know what she likes.

It’s Aaron testimony, so grain of salt, but it lines up well.