🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[UCantCCPMe]

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Poor Ralph. Nobody has the heart to tell him that kid wasn't Xander.

 

[Lidl Drip]

Xander is gonna grow up so confused. He has a father figure at home, the Disneyland Diddler who is (getting) married to Faith and who has raised him since he was a baby, wants to adopt him and who he sees every day. That's his father. But he's still forced to meet this short ragepig man a couple of times a year in an awkward supervised setting (like he's visiting him in prison) who he is probably being told by Faith is his "daddy", because apparently she's not allowed to just lie to Xander cause "muh parental alienation". Basically Xander has two dads, but only a real relationship with one.

Idk why Ralph is proud of this set-up, it's extremely embarrassing. If he actually wanted what's best for Xander he would fuck off and let his mexican papa adopt him so he can have some semblance of a normal family, but ofc Ralph only cares about himself.

 

[AnOminous]

Idk why Ralph is proud of this set-up, it's extremely embarrassing. If he actually wanted what's best for Xander he would fuck off and let his mexican papa adopt him so he can have some semblance of a normal family, but ofc Ralph only cares about himself.

"Owning da haydurs" is more important to this pig than his own son.

 

[HackerX]

Funny, last time he made one of these posts, he said Xander thought he was Bluey because he had dyed his hair blue like a flaming homo.
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When did Ralph start calling him "Xander"? There was a stretch where used "Alexander" because one of his many bloody enemies was named Xander?

On another note, what childhood nickname variations are available??? Are there any other options for besides Xannie?? Maybe Xandie??

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

Xander is gonna grow up so confused. He has a father figure at home, the Disneyland Diddler who is (getting) married to Faith and who has raised him since he was a baby, wants to adopt him and who he sees every day. That's his father. But he's still forced to meet this short ragepig man a couple of times a year in an awkward supervised setting (like he's visiting him in prison) who he is probably being told by Faith is his "daddy", because apparently she's not allowed to just lie to Xander cause "muh parental alienation". Basically Xander has two dads, but only a real relationship with one.

Idk why Ralph is proud of this set-up, it's extremely embarrassing. If he actually wanted what's best for Xander he would fuck off and let his mexican papa adopt him so he can have some semblance of a normal family, but ofc Ralph only cares about himself.

Ralph is getting watched by chaperones like a hawk during these visits. He's not trusted by anyone with Xander.

My guess is that Xander is also being assessed before and after these visits by professionals. That this would be needed when visiting someone like Ralph, to ensure it's not having a detrimental effect on his life.

Ultimately though, Ralph is more like a strange uncle he plays with once every few months. As he grows, unless he has a serious falling out with Faith/Disney Diddler, he isn't going to view Ralph as a dad. If he ever sees this site, reads what's written and said, he will hate Ralph's guts.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Ralph can't even take a selfie with his kid to own the a-logs. Sad, pathetic.....

 

[FiveStarAce]

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Almost felt happy for him, then remembered he's a rapist. I'm owned. GG Ralph. Take this:

 

[HONKY DESTROYER]

Ralph can't even take a selfie with his kid to own the a-logs. Sad, pathetic.....

He never visited Xander and now we know because he didn't take a selfie with him, what an L, Ramona Ralph just keeps getting pushed around.
Sad.
Pathetic.

 

[Drama Trauma]

Funny, last time he made one of these posts, he said Xander thought he was Bluey because he had dyed his hair blue like a flaming homo.
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Well Ethan, sadly and objectivly your kid doesn't love you.
If he did love you he would hug you more, than 10 times,
give you a kiss at least 3 times,
always would call you "daddy" instead of Ethan or other non-specified name
and at least do one of the below activities together:
- gathering chestnuts and showing you them
- ask you to push him on the swing
- invite you to build a sand castle together
- kick/throw a sphere object together
- brag to you about his newest toy/or something he can do alone now
You didn't passed the "father test".
You barely passed as the "creepy uncle" on the test.
Maybe next time you will pass.

 

[Julius Caesar The 187th]

https://x.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1837923917803278660?t=0UVzr0NXCUu2_GLIeG-EwQ&s=19

 

[Mr. Manchester]

The reason everyone shits on you when you go see your kid is because I you won't shut the fuck up about it. It's obvious that you're doing it for attention and the only place you get it is on the forum you don't have to read idiot.

What's going to happen the first time Xander upsets you? Going to vague tweet about hiw shitty he is? Post his picture and say Bluey sucks?

 

[Douglas Mortimer]

Imagine Xander saying "if you'd like to know the truth about it" in a little kid voice

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

https://x.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1837923917803278660?t=0UVzr0NXCUu2_GLIeG-EwQ&s=19

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Quite the tell that he showed up empty-handed. Bc you know he'd have itemized every Happy Meal toy he scratched together the $5 to obtain and declared it Xander's new favorite if he'd brought anything for his kid. I guess "my presence is present enough."

I swear to God, what the fuck kind of father with a regulated piddly 2 hours per month/ quarter/ year and who chooses to live in a completely different country isn't inundating the kid with loads of new clothes/ toys all the time...or at the very very least a big bundle when he finally shows up in person?

Or presenting Faith with a statement for the 529 account he's diligently contributing to monthly for his prize heir's future?

Yeah, I see you, Ethan.

 

[Tofu Dust]

Imagine Xander saying "if you'd like to know the truth about it" in a little kid voice

I don't need to imagine, Ralph already talks like a kid. His voice isn't very deep at all, and if he was a real Ralphamale he'd start talking like one.

 

[Die For Me!]

Vickers Jr. is already on the path to trooning out:

• Xe/xir pronoun safe name
• Disney Mom
• Alcoholic retarded grandfather
• Alcoholic retarded absentee father
• California public school system

The only way to save the precocious lad from becoming an ebullient lass would be for the Ralphamale to abscond him to Tijuana where he can get an alt-right Mexican education instead of a pussy whipped American one. But we all know the Ralphamale is too bitchmade to do anything about that!

 

[Nikes_JustDoIt]

Ralph can't even take a selfie with his kid to own the a-logs. Sad, pathetic.....

IIRC it was one of the stipulations of the court case with Faith to see Xander, which was funny he agreed that was his son to own the alogs.

 

[PyrrhicRustle]

I swear to God, what the fuck kind of father with a regulated piddly 2 hours per month/ quarter/ year and who chooses to live in a completely different country isn't inundating the kid with loads of new clothes/ toys all the time...or at the very very least a big bundle when he finally shows up in person?

If he wanted to get some subtle revenge on the Vickers while winning over his son a little he could buy some ridiculously huge expensive play set with a million pieces. His son gets a big shiny toy he associates with Ralph, and the Vickers will be picking it up for the rest of time, and can’t throw it out because it’s a nice expensive toy. I know if someone wanted to mess with me that’d be the most effective way to do it.

 

[Die For Me!]

link / archive
You are a loser. You are a loser for assuming my child does not call me daddy. When the government brings my child into the room, they introduce me as his father and tell him to call me daddy. After being reminded of this, Vickers Jr. stated: "hey Daddy". This is why you are a loser idiot who knows nothing

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Imagine Xander saying "if you'd like to know the truth about it" in a little kid voice

Only kid in the pre-school with lifts in his shoes.

 

[HackerX]

IIRC it was one of the stipulations of the court case with Faith to see Xander, which was funny he agreed that was his son to own the alogs.

I don't recall the specifics, but I believe that stipulation was thrust upon him when a mysterious poster on /cow/ posted pics of Xander. Even more weird, the Ralphamale was the only recipient of those pictures. (I know, I know. How wierd? It's almost like the time Ralph's phone was hacked and posted the Faith x Ralph : The Guntening - Memphis Micro Edition) Either way, that alog, who definitely wasn't Ralph, restricted Ralph from posting pictures of his son. What an own.

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link / archive
You are a loser. You are a loser for assuming my child does not call me daddy. When the government brings my child into the room, they introduce me as his father and tell him to call me daddy. After being reminded of this, Vickers Jr. stated: "hey Daddy". This is why you are a loser idiot who knows nothing

LOL, another self own. Xander calling him daddy sounds alot more plausible now. When adults tell a child that a strange pigman is you're daddy and to call him that, the kid will try to appease the adults. He's got no idea what that word means or why, but he knows that adults want him to parrot it, so he does. Congrats Ralph, you turned an empty W into another L.