Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[House Cat]

I hope Sean lays into him. I feel Sean has earned that at this point.

I hope he does it while smugly eating a sandwich too. For added effect.

QUICK! Can we send a case of Jimmy John's to Sean's house?!
And a dozen GIANT Jimmy pickles cuz atleast those will be hard . . . unlike Racket's dick!

EDIT:

How much Pussy Liquor did Nick drank after the denial?

Summer's Eve I'm pretty sure is toxic @Lemondale . . .

 

[Oh Darn]

QUICK! Can we send a case of Jimmy John's to Sean's house?!

And a dozen GIANT Jimmy pickles cuz atleast those will be hard . . . unlike Racket's dick!

Surely we can spring for some Jersey Mikes for our boy

 

[thebigdream]

Even if Nick didn't think that she was biased against him because of the Monty suit, I'm sure he would think there is a game theory argument to be made for just changing the judge (the Monty Hall problem) and decided that switching judges would always be a good idea. But in this instance, he didn't just open a door and find a goat, he opened the door, stumbled through it, broke his leg and pissed himself on live television. Nick, the universe will make sure you're felted. Your fate is sealed.


I am once again requesting a dorito chip reaction for moments just like these

Thanks for reminding me that I'm too retarded to understand the Monty Hall problem

 

[Mettaur]

Wrong. His incentive to take this to trial is to never admit that he did anything wrong. Even if he takes this to trial, and ultimately loses, he can still say he was right because that retarded jury and judge "know nothing about him" or whatever Rackets NPC reply he lands on.

If he lets it go to trial it's going to become a media circus, everything is going to come out. Eventually it's likely his wife will turn on him and testify against him to get a better deal. I think even in Nick's delusional mind he knows that the path of least resistance is to plead out. At least then he can say later "Well I wanted to go to trial but my lawyer told me not to because of how the jury would be prejudiced against me."

 

[A_right_horrorshow]

Time to cop a plea like a bitch. Bend over and take that government Balldo right up the shitter because as ego driven as he is, even Crackets has got to know how shit he'd be on the stand.

But hey what do I know? Maybe he'll get the jury and judge on his side with his charming yet humble personality.

Don't take no bitchplea, have a shot, another bump off your crack whore notwife tragic tits and show us all how a real hotshot lawpope really owns the farms.

 

[Pizdec]

Obligatory

View attachment 6452247

You're right, Nick, life REALLY doesn't work the way you want it to when Hubris is evoked.

 

[N1bbaN3rd]

Time to cop a plea like a bitch. Bend over and take that government Balldo right up the shitter because as ego driven as he is, even Crackets has got to know how shit he'd be on the stand.

But hey what do I know? Maybe he'll get the jury and judge on his side with his charming yet humble personality.

Don't take no bitchplea, have a shot, another bump off your crack whore notwife tragic tits and show us all how a real hotshot lawpope really owns the farms.

Any competent lawyer will advise their client to never take the stand.
Fortunately (for us, at least) Nick doesn't have competent counsel, so we can look forward to him self-immolating.

 

[Seafarer]

What's weird about the whole Judge Fischer situation is that she's made no indication of being professionally biased against him (regardless of how much of a fuckwit she must think he is) so this whole exercise has been pointless. There's even the chance that the new judge is harsher than her since they don't have to tip-toe around having previous interactions with Nick. The case is either unchanged or slightly worse for Nick. Congratulations.

Honestly she probably just recused herself because publicity around the case has been too autistic for her to handle. She’s in a rural county which isn’t used to having Internet weirdos and Mexican rage pigs show up out of nowhere to turn a drug possession case into a spectacle.

 

[Pagan Min]

Any competent lawyer will advise their client to never take the stand.
Fortunately (for us, at least) Nick doesn't have competent counsel, so we can look forward to him self-immolating.

Not only that, but Nick seems to think he's the finest legal mind EVER, so he'll gladly overrule whatever intelligent advice the Barneswalker might accidentally give him...

 

[repentance]

Even if he moves to LA, Nick's never getting invited to one of Diddy's freak outs now.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

Feels like this B^U template is highly appropriate today. Anyone wanna take a shot? Maybe paste in the rekieta faces? Which one is more appropriate? The coke face or the struggle seshion face?

View attachment 6452463

I did the shittiest job possible cause I was too lazy to open up paint.net instead of regular MS paint, sorry. Ill take another crack at it tomorrow if I remember, maybe throw in something about vagina liquor.

 

[House Cat]

SEAN IS LIVE! Already an EPIC intro . . .

 

[N1bbaN3rd]

Oh boy, Sean opened with Komm, Susser Tod.

 

[Pizdec]

Oh boy, Sean opened with Komm, Susser Tod.

with all the shit talking sent his way by them... how did that work out, Barnes? Rackets?

 

[FrigginWeeb]

Wow I missed a bunch while out getting groceries

I am not a lawyer but at this point I think Nick's best route is pray that they offer some kind of deal, because he's up shit creek.

 

[Historical Strelkov]

Obligatory

View attachment 6452247

 

[Edilg]

"Now theres this rumor thats been going around the internet, specifically Kiwi Farms, that said I somehow thought I was gonna win my case... and that is simply not true. I've always known I was gonna lose, badly. I just wanted to show everyone how rigged the game was. Sorry Kiwibros! You're wrong again!"

 

[analrapist]

Thanks for reminding me that I'm too retarded to understand the Monty Hall problem

I'll try explain it, because it's not that complicated. There are only three moving parts in the classic formula.

You have three doors, A, B, and C, behind one of which has a prize.

You choose A. The host eliminates C and gives you the option to stay with A or choose B. The winning move (2/3 chance) is to choose B.

The logic is no more complicated. When you choose A, you have a 1 in 3 chance. The host eliminates C and provides you new information. This changes the probability of C from 1 in 3 to zero. Because this is new information, the probability of B changes. The probability of A has not changed. But because the probability of C has changed, and A has not changed because it cannot, because you've already chosen it, the probability of B changes to accommodate. B is now a 2-in-3 chance of being correct because an incorrect option was eliminated. Your choice of A is still a 1-in-3 chance because C was eliminated as a consequence of your selection of A. Given that B is now 2-in-3, B is the correct play.

I get that it's kind of counterintuitive to think about, but the more you know about the probability underlying it all, the more it checks out.

In this context, Balldo knew that a judge gave a bad outcome, and rolled the bones on a better. The parallel is a little strained, but I imagine someone with a better legal grasp could explain it using Bayesian principles.

Edit: All probabilities in a set should always add to 1, and I failed this because I'm bad at Bayesian reasoning, but it's fixed now.

 

[PinKopyKat]

Every once in a while I remember that Ralph's Lawyer is also his plumber and the idea that there is a good chance that this guy could beat Balldo in a case by a mile is infinitely hilarious to me (just going by the sheer amount of reliability and responsibility Ralph trusts on him, by his own statements).

What would his one liner be after he beat Balldo?
"you went overboard there amigo, but I went over the border. We are not cut of the same Zarapo"

 

[John Andrews Stan]

That intro Sean created for tonight’s stream was pure pornography.