Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I really thought we'd be kicking it playing PS1 JRPGs or something together by now

That sucks man. Thats all i ever wanted growing up as an only child.

Sorry your brother is too self absorbed on his own fetishes to really enjoy anything else.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

There was this guy (gay?) I used to know and he dated a TIF (her sexuality unknown during this period) for about six months. The TIF wanted to roleplay yaoi and would sext him but didn't want him touching her. They would argue about everything, politics, culture, sports. You could tell that the TIF was a lonely girl who never had any romantic attention and during all of their dates, he told me that she would act like she was in a romcom/Brokeback Mountain and would send him some mediocre poetry. After a while, he dumped her and she was a wreck, begging him to take her back. To my knowledge, he was gay, a true and honest homosexual and I was surprised to learn that he kissed her (he initiated the kiss). A few years later, she detransitions and realizes that she was a lesbian and becomes a full blown TERF on main. The guy (he was an acquainatance) ballooned up, got a job in IT, openly lusts after Finn5ter, Icky and Belle Delphine, and also regularly donates to Keffals's patron. What the fuck happened between those two?
>be gay
>date a pooner
>pretend to be interested in the female body
>she's a lesbian pretending to be a gay man
>she secretly doesn't like you but is obsessed with you
>you dump her because you don't like poon
>develop GAMP
>be bisexual
>be gay
>be bisexual
>develop AGP
>ex pooner TERFs out
>start taking E
>"any pronouns" in bio
>posts about killing TERFs
>she's posting TTD
View attachment 6437116
I didn't lose him but this was too insane not to share.

I know a couple of pooners. I still kind of keep up with them to see what troons are up to. Their socials aren’t privated so I don’t even need to keep any contact with them. Also very interesting how one of them doesn’t really filter that much.

She got the tit chop, has been on T for years, but no bottom surgery. Still poses in slutty female outfits for some reason.

Just recently she stopped taking test and went on estrogen.

I think she is doing it because her hair started failing out from the test.

Also fascinating because i actually know a desister. One of the main reasons she never started test was because she was afraid she’d get male pattern baldness, since her dad and both grandpas are bald.

The Norwood reaper doesn’t give a fuck about pronouns.

 

[Idiot Nigger]

That's because it is addiction, it's porn addiction. People wanna act like that's not always the case, but it is. Even among old-school troons, they were heavy sex addicts. Even HSTS pooners, "sexually abused" pooners, any sympathetic narrative regarding an adult trooning out porn is still involved.

No one is talking about the effects of porn addiction which is so weird because its more common than ever, I guess its like how no one would wanna talk about sex addiction in the early years. They act like it cant be that big of a deal or downplay it. Well let troonery be a reminder that it can be a big deal.

You're definitely right. I don't want to powerlevel about our upbringing much having two absent father figures back-to-back has to fuck up some perspectives and attitudes on women, sex and pornography. I just wish there was some magical way I could help him un-twist his noggin.

That sucks man. Thats all i ever wanted growing up as an only child.

Sorry your brother is too self absorbed on his own fetishes to really enjoy anything else.

Thanks bro. It's good to be heard by someone who gets it. I finished his copy of Persona 2 fairly recently and I really, really wish we could've shared it together. It's all I could think about after the end.

 

[glass_houses]

You're definitely right. I don't want to powerlevel about our upbringing much having two absent father figures back-to-back has to fuck up some perspectives and attitudes on women, sex and pornography. I just wish there was some magical way I could help him un-twist his noggin.


Thanks bro. It's good to be heard by someone who gets it. I finished his copy of Persona 2 fairly recently and I really, really wish we could've shared it together. It's all I could think about after the end.

I'd recommend seeking mental health care as he sounds severely depressed, but we all know what mental health care is these days. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Maybe, if nothing else, cutting his internet for a couple hours a day and telling him that you're not going to turn it back on unless he takes a walk will help with his cardio and vitamin D levels.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Maybe, if nothing else, cutting his internet for a couple hours a day and telling him that you're not going to turn it back on unless he takes a walk will help with his cardio and vitamin D levels.

Getting out of the house is good, but @Idiot Nigger should only cut down the Internet if he's willing to get into "you're not my dad" territory.

One insidious thing about the trans movement is that unless someone's (physically) in a location with a ton of active "queer" people, like a college campus, it turns them online and encourages them to stay by stoking the fear of "not passing" IRL. You can't even go to the store without being perceived by un-queers; better to stay inside, order DoorDash, and stay on Discord where you are your avatar and everyone "treats you like a woman."

It's like a recipe for instilling social anxiety, and of course if you're feeling social anxiety, it must be because you're really trans.

 

[Fapcop]

Hello,

I don't post online much but after seeing this thread, it seems like a good place to at least get this off my shoulders since it's been a lot to bear lately. I'm in my 20s, my older brother (who's now identifying as a trans woman) is in his late 30s. This all started about two years ago now. He's never had the best go at life, being a child of divorce and having two shitty dads. I think it really took its toll and we're just now seeing the ramifications of it all.
Over time, the rest of my family has been able to grow closer together and make amends with the past. Making right with my father (his step-dad) has been a challenge but we've never been closer as a family. Conversely, my brother has only fallen further inwards. We'll try to engage with him, invite him to dinner or just to hang out at the house, but always met with refusal. When I invite my parents to my house (he now lives in my upstairs office after being kicked out), he never comes out and refuses to make a peep; just stays in his room and watches YouTube or posts online somewhere.
As a brother, I'll invite him to poker nights with my friends or, hell, to watch a movie downstairs just the two of us, but there's never any interest. The only things he'll engage in are Magic: The Gathering and redigested lolcow commentaries on YouTube (ironically enough). This hurts a lot since a lot of the formative media I consumed in my early years - books, TV, music, video games, Internet stomping grounds - are largely of his influence. I really thought we'd be kicking it playing PS1 JRPGs or something together by now. The parallels to drug addiction are really frightening. My mom says it's like he's killing himself in slow motion. I miss my brother, guys, I don't know what else to do.

Sorry if this doesn't have much structure, doesn't make sense, isn't pertinent or is gay and for fags. I don't really have anybody else to share this with pseudonymously. Thanks for your attention.

fixed some spelling sry

Feels man.

I’m sorry for you. Here’s to him hopefully course correcting before ending up as a lonely insane troon in his 50ies.

As for lack of a father, I think that may be true in some cases.

But not always. Maybe not even as a majority of the time.

Some people are just born rotten. For others, they may not have had a bad life, but something or someone came along at just the right (wrong) time.

I’d honestly and sincerely rather have a junkie or drug addict relative than a troon.

At least with drug addiction there are usually less permanent side effects, and no drug addict is able to fool themselves into thinking that what’s killing them is actually making them better: “If I do enough heroin, I’ll be living authentically as my true self!”

 

[Idiot Nigger]

It's like a recipe for instilling social anxiety, and of course if you're feeling social anxiety, it must be because you're really trans.

I think this social anxiety is what's keeping him from engaging with me and the rest of our family beyond the surface level. I don't know how to help with this aside from continuing to invite him to hang out with me/us. Some kind of confidence-boosting activity, something we can both get good at? I wish he still played vidya. When TF2 released we got such a kick out of improving and pubstomping.

I'd recommend seeking mental health care as he sounds severely depressed, but we all know what mental health care is these days. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Maybe, if nothing else, cutting his internet for a couple hours a day and telling him that you're not going to turn it back on unless he takes a walk will help with his cardio and vitamin D levels.

He's definitely struggling with depression, he's on a few different medications to help with this. I think they're at least making it possible for him to feel happy; when he's off his medication it's really visible. I feel really weird being so directly controlling over another grown adult but maybe there's something to it, if nothing else works.


I can't quote @Fapcop in my reply for some reason but yeah, I'd rather it be drugs cus at least then I could physically remove the poison he's shooting up from my home. Read a post online once that HRT is like the crack epidemic for nerds, I tend to agree.
As said earlier I agree with @Aunt Carol that direct intervention (making firewall rules, etc) should perhaps be left as a last resort. I can't demean him, or risk alienating/emasculating him any further. Half the battle is building his confidence and self-sufficiency again, but how?

Thanks for replying guys. Being able to think out loud somewhere supportive helps loads more than I thought it would.

 

[Fapcop]

Thanks for replying guys. Being able to think out loud somewhere supportive helps loads more than I thought it would.

I think you owe it to him to be honest.

“You will never be a woman. You can dress as one, but people will never see you as a woman. The best you can hope for is them reacting out of pity, fear and disgust. HRT will not make you a woman. Surgeries will not make you a woman. So make the best of what you have.”

It’s not cruelty. It’s an act of love. Cruelty would be to humor him and keep him hoping for an outcome that will never happen.

 

[Idiot Nigger]

I think you owe it to him to be honest.

“You will never be a woman. You can dress as one, but people will never see you as a woman. The best you can hope for is them reacting out of pity, fear and disgust. HRT will not make you a woman. Surgeries will not make you a woman. So make the best of what you have.”

It’s not cruelty. It’s an act of love. Cruelty would be to humor him and keep him hoping for an outcome that will never happen.

It'll hurt him to hear but it'll be for the best. I just hope it doesn't cause any strife with the rest of my family but something tells me they're praying for somebody to come forward too. Thanks for helping me find the courage man. I hope I'll have something happier to post next time.

 

[Fapcop]

It'll hurt him to hear but it'll be for the best. I just hope it doesn't cause any strife with the rest of my family but something tells me they're praying for somebody to come forward too. Thanks for helping me find the courage man. I hope I'll have something happier to post next time.

All the best man.

I also hope you’ll have better news to report next time. And it looks like there’s no shortage of tranny adjacent kiwis here who have been where you are.

Trooning won’t help anything, but it sounds like your brother has fixated on to that as a solution.

In reality it isn’t just a placebo, it also makes everything worse.

Men don’t want trannies.
Women don’t want trannies.
Employers might take a tranny if there’s nobody else.
Doctors love trannies, but that’s just because there’s money to be made by turning people into lifelong medical patients.

 

[BoomerSperg1922]

I don't have contact with the girlfriend normally, but I'm gonna try to wrangle some kind of social get-together with all of them and my sister, who's gonna pull her aside and talk to her about the situation. Sister is a Tumblr-feminist artsy type, but completely agrees with me about the situation, perfect for this.

The core issue two-faceted:

1.) The two of them are/were 100% brainwashed enough to think that my cousin trooning out then sleeping around with other people, whilst still keeping the core relationship intact was not only possible, but anyone who would think otherwise is a bigoted, archaic, religious Drumpftard. While GF is obviously miserable and their relationship is failing, I don't know how much she accepts why, and that it's ok for her to feel that way.

My cousin is still completely in denial, hence the panicking at her being sad. He's trying to tell himself that he can keep both those plates spinning. All his "friends" are gaslighting him into thinking he can. It's not possible, it never was, and it isn't right.

After getting caught up on 40+ pages of this thread, I am riveted by this story.

How did it turn out?

 

[Aunt Carol]

I can't demean him, or risk alienating/emasculating him any further. Half the battle is building his confidence and self-sufficiency again, but how?

Is there anything he can do for you? Not something where it sounds like you're bitching at him to get off his useless roommate butt and wash dishes, but is there anything you can ask for his help with and mean it? Either something he's better at, or something you need two sets of hands for like holding the ladder while you clean the gutters? People like being successfully able to help.

He feels bad because his identity revolves around suffering, so he's not going to come up with ways to break the pattern on his own; the community is based around preventing people from escaping.

I'd think that anything getting him out of the house would help, but he's not going to want to go somewhere and hang out with a bunch of people, first step. Maybe a movie, the kind with zaps or explosions that's better in a theater; nobody pays attention to you in a theater, but you're still among people.

 

[Dr. Matthew C. Harris]

Men haven't changed. Women haven't changed. It's society's idea of what men and women are that has changed and become so weirdly restricted and inflexible.

It's part social media, part Hollywood/mass media, and part modern neoliberal society's fault. Even nowadays, outside the West a man would never be immediately and inexorably judged to be gay for doing any number of things such as kissing each other on the cheeks as a greeting in some societies, being open about their feelings, gardening, sewing, any number of things. The sole defining quality of manhood has always been to roll with the punches and use their masculine strength and the resolve derived from it to pull in either hunting or warfare for the good of the tribe, everything else is deeply secondary and cultural.

Modern society fucking sucks for a man. You can't be emotionally open, you can't find puppies cute in public, you can't buy the pink razor blades that do the exact same fucking thing the MANLY BLUE razor does because they happen to be cheaper than the MANLY RAZORS without being judged by assholes everywhere. You can't truly love a woman, that's not what James Bond would do. And God forbid your parents owned a minivan or you got it in a good deal, you'll be endlessly mocked. Not that you should really care, but it gets exhausting when the only way to not have to suffer fools' indignation is to behave like Andrew Tate.

That sucks man. Thats all i ever wanted growing up as an only child.

Fuck, that hit hard. Slight PL: i'm in the same boat. I would've liked to have had a bro to do bro shit with, but reading this thread I have to ask myself: is it better to have loved and lost, or never loved at all? Fuck man.

 

[Three Gorillion Dollars]

Yeah, I pretty much seen trooning out as the perfect intersection of all these societal factors that are crashing into each other recently, all of which are increasingly mediated by the Internet: easy access to hardcore/fetish pornography that our parents could only have had nightmares about, social media that allows you to find and talk to anyone and create feeds of like-minded individuals, a society that increasingly enables you to function without needing to engage with other people (food delivery services, etc.), a neoliberal culture that is doing its best to commodify everything (so you can sell pink razors and blue razors, easier to market) and therefore everyone, the American healthcare system combined with American cultural dominance, and a society that is basically atomizing further and further by every single day. Young women are bombarded by sex, sex, sex and so poon out to try and dodge that bullet (it's disgusting that OnlyFans and its ilk are basically normalized so much more than porn studios ever were) and young men are hit this combination of porn and emotional isolation that leads them to want to become the woman so they can be desired instead of having to desire.

 

[Stupid Lisa Garbageface]

I'm gonna change some details so I don't PL too much but I have a fun story about how trooning out can cause problems even posthumously!

A friend committed suicide some time ago (Alex, let's say.) Alex had a family of raging cluster-B's and probably had something going on themselves - I've variously heard bipolar or borderline. Anyway at the tail end of a several months long or possibly several years long mental breakdown, Alex claimed to be transgender, right before their suicide.

Relative A recognizes that troonism is a quick fix for a mentally ill person to cling to, and is telling the story as such. Relative B believes lock, stock, and barrel that Alex was born in the wrong body and that's a big reason for the suicide, and is bringing up Alex's "true self" as often as possible. These two are no longer speaking to each other. This dead person mentions trans-y feelings during the throes of a severe mental break, and that's enough for two family members to cut off contact, because nobody would ever lie or be confused about being trans.

Anyway it makes me really sad because I was friends with this family for a long time but I think I'm going to distance myself from these people. I don't have room in my brain for this sort of drama anymore. God knows my family has its own host of mental issues but I'm increasingly grateful that it seems to trend towards just your bog-standard depression and ennui, rather than this shit lol

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

I have an old coworker that I stayed friends with after he moved to greener pastures. We meet up every few months for drinks.

Last time he had a big pride flag outside his house - and it wasn't pride month. I also noticed that his long-term girlfriend dropped out of the picture.

Now his social media page has him embracing being a "femboy" and wearing feminine clothes and even jewelry, and changed his screenname to something that is more (but not entirely) feminine. There's also a photo of him with his "family" which I'm pretty sure is his polycule or whatever they call it these days.

Matter of time at this point.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You can't truly love a woman, that's not what James Bond would do.

Um aktually James Bond was deeply affected when his wife was murdered; it just didn't make it to the movies as obviously as the books because they switched actors, and the movie is always worse.

 

[deermeat]

its surreal looking back on people you know (one of them being my "ex" back when i was 16) who all trooned out together, even if they were shitty people. They are still young af and seeing one of the dudes post about their troon friend's suicide was crazy.. They started smoking too, the one dude whos a "creator" took on an artsy e girl persona romanticizing their depression and the people they all associate with are all apart of the mentally ill DIDesc, radical left crowd.

I wish I can post them without PLing because they look insane, and its fucked up how the one dude (the creator I mentioned) possibly was groomed by a much, much bigger creator back when he was a minor and might be par of the reasons he trooned out, as that same creator had a troon bf.

All of these people are in the early 20s, not yet over the age of 25. NONE of them were feminine in any way beforehand except maybe my "ex", but he was really just a dude with long hair and probably has autism. Beforehand, they were getting into femboy porn before trooning out a couple months later.

To think Im gonna outlive them potentially is insane. I used to feel vindicated and in a way I still do. But man. I wish their mental spiral wasnt the thing to inspire me to improve my life and embrace my hobbies but it was. They made fun of me while I was going through actual serious shit while they themselves were mostly still living with their parents and didnt need to be independant. Its just crazy seeing things progress the way it did. I was the one with the life circumstances that most would consider me "doomed from the start" while they had a kushy uprbinging. This is a common theme amoung troons and while I used to resent them, I now feel pity. Too much pampering from parents is setting up your child to never grow up and resent you the moment you force them to be independant.

I hope they get better. Would I be lying if I said I didnt stalk their socials as my own personal lolcows and use them as motivation whenever I feel like relasping into my old ways? Yes, but I still hope they recover. Especially the smoking aspect... God its like they think theyre all cool when theyre not.

Troons dont act like adults, or maybe Gen Z just doesnt act their age at all. They act like theyre still 16. They never matured. They never grown. I think I act my age as someone in their early 20s, but Im so suprised how many people my age and older act. For those who are young, dont make similar mistakes to me where I befriended people 5+ older than me since they had the same mentality as I did. Thats a HUGE red flag. No one 5 years olser than you should share the same maturity level.

 

[Phil's Oddly Shaped Head]

The only things he'll engage in are Magic: The Gathering and redigested lolcow commentaries on YouTube (ironically enough).

Like what? Redbar? lol

 

[cringe retard 9000]

I felt like having a stream of conscience, so please bare with me if there is no central point and it makes little sense. I hope somebody notices some value in this.

This thread really showcases a LOT of the issues I have with this entire thing, and if condensed well by somebody with a functioning brain (which I sadly lack) could really help portray "our" point of view in a civilised manner. To at least try and discuss with some of the less-retarded members of the trans community and show that there are plenty well-versed arguments on why all of this may be harmful if not done correctly.

I've posted some time ago that I nearly got into all of this myself. I'm still a bit torn on the whole issue - and do sometimes have moments of weakness, where I do think about my own identity. And regardless of that, I'm glad I didn't fall into the rabbit hole, even though I know a few examples of people who have actually, against all odds, benefitted from transitioning.

None of them did it the way that seems to be, for lack of a better word, trendy nowadays. You really don't have to browse Twitter, Reddit or whatever other mainstream platforms for youngins there may be out there nowadays to stumble upon all the lost kids self-identifying as trans and getting on The Brazilian Pubic Hair Indie Brewery Hormone Special... with no real confirmation of what's going on with them. I do believe gender dysphoria can be a real problem, but for God's sake and everything that is sacred, you don't diagnose this shit yourself! Neither is your groomer $age+10 buddy qualified to do this shit. Yes, finding a specialist that is actually worth dealing with and not a current medical Thing shill is not an easy feat (and certainly will be harder as time goes on), but... the good ones are specialists for a reason. The people I mentioned earlier all decided to transition after long periods of thought, extended sessions with psychiatrists who weren't there just to put up another success story on their Facebook page, hand them an invoice and tell them to fuck off until the next session. All of them are hence alive, and (to various degrees) enjoy their life. It's not something I fully understand (or support either), but at least I'm happy that they haven't turned themselves into Christmas ornaments hanging from their house's support beams or whatever. I can still talk to them, discuss weird, nerdy shit like Windows APIs with them and be happy that they didn't turn into the type that enters a poly relationship with 7 other 120kg sweaty Anthony Young lookalikes.

Queer people like to say the high amount of trans suicides is down to the chicanery of society. How much of it is actually people falling down a rabbit hole of all this only to realize X years down the road that they were delusional and potentially caused irreversible changes (or even, potentially, harm) to their psyche and body? It makes complete sense that this wouldn't be a discussed topic as it breaks the entire facade used by trans people when "advertising" (because I don't think I can call this anything else) to vulnerable people. This is truly cult-like behaviour, and not something that should be allowed. There should be ways for people in need to reach out to discuss stuff like this. Learn about it. But not in this way, as it only encourages radicalism and haphazardly made lifechanging decisions. Sadly it will go on, as our world isn't perfect and the type of people who need to force you to live their lifestyle with them instead of allowing you to live your own exists. Hell, even this post could theoretically fall under that... hypocrisy, eh?

I really wish we could go back to the pre-whenever in the last 2 decades world, where you could, save for extreme cases, go down to your neighbour for a BBQ and still enjoy your time with them even though they think gay people are OK and you wouldn't want a single gay person anywhere near a 10km radius from you.