/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

I finally saw In a Violent Nature, and it was pretty good. It didn't try and subvert expectations or deconstruct the genre, it's just a slasher/CITW shown (mostly) from the killer's perspective. And it's not even really a gimmick, since it's more his story than his victims. 1t does have a bit of contrivance, like he stands around watching if people are talking about him, but it's not too noticeable (I mean you DO want to hear the backstory about him and all). The kills are pretty good in general, and there's enough characterization of his victims that they aren't just blood sacks that he happens into.

It's really close to being a GREAT movie. It really just lacks some edge or viciousness. While the kills are good and several are pretty gory, they just lack some oomph and edge (although the ranger's death is good, if a bit convoluted). That and the switch to the final girl's perspective at the end. First, she's too bland to be the final girl - I know the gimmick of the movie kind of prevents having someone we know, but she's literally the blandest and blankest of all the characters. Not sure if it's the actress or just the way it is set up, but she is lacking, and I felt no real empathy for her. And second, they kind of whiffed on a chance to have the woman that picks her up have an actual interesting story. She's just adjacent to the killer, when she could've been SO much more. I kept expecting it, and when it didn't pay off it was such a let down.

That being said, it's still a really good movie, I just wish it'd crossed that line into greatness, because we haven't had a truly great one in a while. I'd put this on par with Terrifier 2, in that it comes so damn close, and that closeness almost makes me more disappointed than if it'd just been bad. It just takes it from something I'd watch many times to something I'm fine having just enjoyed once.

Also there's some goofy kind of "plot holes," but they can all be pretty much forgiven, just because of the genre. I don't really care about them, they just puzzled me while I was watching it.
Stuff like the timeline; the killer was supposedly like a youngish teen when he got killed, but now he's a full grown man, was he still 'aging' while dead or is the story wrong? The locket he follows, is there some sort of mystic pull from it? If there is, why does he go to the false amulet first, and if there's not, how the fuck does he find it in the entirety of the Ontario woods. I mean he does kill everyone he comes across, and I guess they could be the only people up there, but he only checks the pocket of the guy that has it. Also if the ranger guy knows the locket is keeping him in the ground, why does he just hang it on a stick. Surely burying it on top of him or occluding it in SOME kind of way would be better. I mean he KNOWS that locals and visitors are drawn to that very spot since there's a legendary fire tower there.

Also, there's some real Canadianisms in this - lesbians swimming and horny campers camping, but no titties. I mean come on. And of course the ranger went to the John Wick Villain school of gun use.

Some people may complain about the 'walking' scenes, following the killer, but they didn't bother me at all. They weren't overly drawn out, and they had a pretty good rhythm and some variation to them (it was interesting to see him circle around and wait for stuff, just from a kind of logistical perspective).

It seems like I'm complaining more than praising this, but that's just because it's so close to being really, really good. Anyway, it's getting a sequel, so we'll see what happens.

Good kills, an interesting gimmick, no faggoty bullshit (other than genre-established tropes, like of course the 'redneck' guy is going to be a poacher) (they didn't even turn the final girl into a girlboss, she escapes solely because her BF (somewhat) sacrifices himself for her, not because she slay queens). Well paced and interesting. I'm deducting half a point each because they didn't stick the landing at the end and because there's no titties in it. 4/5 stars, go watch it.
 
Anyone who say's "It insists upon itself" deserves to die. Sorry not sorry.
Oh yes, truly. I just don't get it. I must need a five hour breadtube analysis video to truly understand it's subtle theming because I'm not such an enlightened man of culture.
Should I set up a RYM account as well before I give it another watch?

They're going to make the whole plot "lore" about the pink socks guy, no doubt.
I think another issue is while a remake is completely unnecessary because it's an unreplicatable piece of cinema, the director just seems such a bad choice. True, he's only done one movie so I shouldn't write it off. But it seems odd to get the Smile dude to do this. There are directors who in theory could probably at least do a passing job. I think I'd be up for a Darren Aronofsky remake, or hell the Safdie Brothers could probably at least mimic the tone. But I don't think just getting some dude who did a relatively successful horror film to make one of the most acclaimed avant garde films of the genre is a bright idea.
It's so niche that you either are going to have someone just do a divorce/creature feature that's another genre flick or they're going to have to do it in such a different way that it wouldn't really be a remake anymore but just a spiritual homage.
 
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I watched Oddity, a Welsh horror movie that had a great set up, and then absolutely blew it. It's an easy watch, the set up and first 50 minutes are actually pretty great. A woman, alone in a house she's refurbishing gets a knock at the door at night, there's a loony with a glass eye out there that wants in. But he says he saw someone go into the house while she wasn't looking, and just wants to help her. Turns out he was being honest, but gets blamed for her killing anyway.

Then the dead chick's fiancée goes to visit her TWIN SISTER who is blind and is a psychometrist dealing in cursed objects (ok at first blush reading that, it sounds totally gay, but that's absolutely NOT the problem with the movie). Dead chick's fiancée brings her the glass eye of the "killer," which she 'reads' and figures out that crazy glass-eye guy didn't kill her sister. So she decides she's going to go find out who did it - and make them pay with all her cursed objects, which sounds awesome as fuck.

Then she goes to the house where fiancée is living with his new GF, and she starts her revenge. Problem is the movie is like almost an hour in now - and while it's a solid hour, there's really good acting (outside of new GF, who sucks), good atmosphere, a couple of jump scares (which are earned, and not retarded) - and there's only like 18 minutes left for the vengeance. And yeah they just blow it. She figures out the killer, and decides it'd be the best vengeance to let him kill her by falling into his trap, and then wrapping everything up completely unimaginatively and dumbly.

It's like they ran out of time, budget or ideas (or all 3) and just said, I don't know, film something to wrap it up in 15 minutes. So I guess at least nothing is open-ended, it's just retarded and very unsatisfying - especially relative to how good the set up and actual film-making is.

It's half a movie, so I'm giving it half the score. All the technical aspects are good, there's good atmosphere, the characters are tropes, but well done and easy to watch, there's a few scares and even a little tension in there. But the absolute whiff of a third act, combined with the complete lack of catharsis just kills it. Also no titties. 2.5 stars. It probably deserves more as it wasn't boring or too stupid, but it left me more disappointed than pleased. Waste of a great premise and a solid film-making crew.

Edit - this is in English, not Welsh, just in case anyone got that idea.
 
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When I heard there would be a new adaptation of 'Salem's Lot, I was confused why I didn't see any theatrical trailers for it. Now I know why.

It will be going straight to Max in the beginning of October.

That movie is funny, was meant to come out in 2022 on HBO Max, then ownership of WB changed pull it from Max to come out in cinemas, then after all that time and delays it finally came back as a Max title.
 
All right you niggers, break out those lists. This year I am going down the Good Housekeeping list of best costumes and picking the best, worst, or most inappropriate movie I can to match with them. Although if something is retarded or too specific I'll skip it (i.e. I'm not going to watch Beetlejuice if the Beetlejuice costume was on the list (I started with the Cosmopolitan list because I thought it would be funnier, but it was just shitty and gay).

1 - Barbie and Ken - Puppet Master (they're dolls, see)
2 - Coastal Cowgirl - The Burrowers
3 - Tetris - Cube (haha get fucked, Good Housekeeping... also it's not very scary, but it's short and has some gore, so good enough)
4 - Mario & Luigi - Cannibal Apocalypse (It's Italian and takes place mostly in a sewer)
5 - Negroni Sbagliato with Prosecco - Grabbers (Shit tier costume, but it's about alcohol, and alcohol + horror == Grabbers, one of my favorite fucking movies...it might be a stretch, but so is calling that a fucking costume)(I skipped "Tanya from White Lotus" because I don't know what that is)
6 - Joel from Last of Us - Return of the Living Dead (I know nothing about TLOU, but it seems like a zombie thing featuring a faggot, and so is Return - since it features Brian Peck, a gay pedophile (but I repeat myself) - also, at the other end of the spectrum, I'd watch LInnea Quigley's sarcophagus dance all day every day, Jesus fuck her ONLY competition is Selma Hayek in Dusk 'til Dawn)
7 - Crayons - Murder Party (it's about artists, see! Also, not really a horror movie, but it's always a fun watch. Also it features costumes, so it should be on this list anyway!)
8 - Nepo Baby - Halloween (Spoiled for choice here, but went with the OG, because it's one of the few in the franchise with titties in it. I am a simple man of simple tastes.)
9 - Error 404 Costume - Pulse (Considered Deadstream, but figured it's been over a decade since I watched Pulse, and I should see it again)
10 - Emily in Paris - Haute Tension (Obviously going with a new French extreme/horror here, and why not the OG; honestly haven't seen this in decades, and don't even remember watching after knowing what the "twist" was, so will watch with that in mind)
11 - The Little Mermaid - Dagon - (I will fast forward through the 15 minute "chase" scene, but enjoy the rest of this movie)
12 - The Queen of Hearts - Friday the 13th (Off with her head!)
13 - Starbucks Family - Mermaid in a Man-hole (considered it for #11, but now I'm stuck!)
14 - Mona Lisa Painting - The Stendahl Syndrome (Not really a fan of Argento's 90s works, and haven't seen this one, but it's by an Italian and about paintings, so it fits. Also want to see if Argento put his daughter's tits in a movie like John Boorman did)
15 - Run DMC - Tales from the Hood (obvious, but still a classic)
16 - Raggedy Ann & Andy - The Doll Master (I hope there's not many more doll costumes on this list; I haven't seen this one, but it was either this or The Conjuring or a Puppetmaster sequel, so...)
17 - Smurfette - Alien 3 - First thing that came to mind about a sausage fest featuring one female. If you have any better ideas, let me know.
18 - Selena's Quntenilla - From Dusk 'til Dawn - A Tejano singer who dresses provocatively? Sold.
19 - Nina from Black Swan - Suspiria (re-make) - (Had to skip Marge & Homer Simpson) - About a ballet dancer, and I like everything about this movie except for Tilda Swinton's dual role which is unnecessary and distracting
20 - Zorro - Z (2019) - Been popping up on my recommendations, and I have a soft spot for Canadian horror. This probably sucks, but I'll check it out, and the costume is a tough one. I guess I could've gone for any good Mexican horror movie, but I'm willing to risk it.
21 - Cyborg costume - Demon Seed - Considered a Hellraiser sequel, but I'm going with one I haven't seen in decades. Plus Julie Christie in her prime.
22 - Willy Wonka - Candyman - NOT the remake, as if that needs to be said. Haven't seen this in forever.
23 - Holly Golightly - Cabin Fever - What breakfast did Tiffany have? PANCAKES!
24 - DIY Houseplant - The Ruins - Considered Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but it's the wrong kind of scary.
25 - DIY Bird costume - Q: The Winged Serpent - Technically not a bird, but it has peak Michael Moriarty in it
26 - Beyonce's Coachella dancers - Climax - Again, not really a horror, and Gaspar Noe's track record isn't the best, but I've wanted to watch this one just from a film-making lore/technical standpoint anyway, so I'll use it as an excuse. It's probably better than Trap, which was my other option.
27 - Maleficent - The VVitch - Lots of options here, probably would've chosen Lords of Salem, but I just watched it again earlier this year.
28 - Lite Brite - The Hallow - It has pretty little lights in it. Also considered Audition, because putting pins in things is fun!
29 - The Mask - Halloween III - (skipped Thanos, some nigger chick I never heard of, and Agatha) Considered Friday the 13th Part 3, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and a few others, but getting too close to the big day not to cash in on this one, given the chance.
30 - Bread winner pun costume - The Belko Experiment (skipped a lot, Joker & LIzzie McGuire (gay), Bob Ross (can't do a 3rd paint/artist movie in a month) and Serena Williams (I REALLY tried for a tennis themed horror movie, a genre that is sorely lacking) In the end, I went with the literal interpretation of a bread winner, instead of the pun side of the costume, which would've resulted in Basket Case. John C. McGinley was the deciding factor.
31 - Farmer's Market Family - The Wicker Man (double feature, remake, then OG) - OK I admit I picked through the rest of the list, but 90% of them were just dumb shit (I think there's like 3 more Beetlejuice costumes); Haven't seen either of these in a while, and they make a good disjointed double feature. Plus Britt Eklund nude is magical.

I feel unsatisfied with the 30th, so if anyone can think of a Serena Williams related horror movie, I'll swap it in. Maybe Sleepaway Camp because it has a mannish chick in it, but that's a stretch. Tennis is really what I'm looking for.

You nerds doing a list?
 
I feel unsatisfied with the 30th, so if anyone can think of a Serena Williams related horror movie, I'll swap it in. Maybe Sleepaway Camp because it has a mannish chick in it, but that's a stretch. Tennis is really what I'm looking for
Pieces has a prominent tennis match scene. Best I can do. I will likely liveblog Spooktober as has become my habit but I never plan ahead. I want to revisit some favorites though.
 
All right you niggers, break out those lists.
I've decided to marathon some 1920s era silent horror films this month. I've been interested in the 1920s here lately and I always thought the 20s silent era films were some of the creepiest horror movies I've ever seen and since there's so many I haven't seen before I figured it's time to pay respects to the last century

  1. Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
  2. Genuine: The Tragedy of a Vampire (1920)
  3. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)
  4. The Penalty (1920)
  5. The Golem (1920)
  6. The Phantom Carriage (1921)
  7. Destiny (1921)
  8. Nosferatu
  9. The Headless Horseman (1922)
  10. Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)
  11. Dr. Mabuse The Gambler (1922) (4 hours long!!!)
  12. Warning Shadows 1923
  13. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923)
  14. Hands of Orlac (1924)
  15. Waxworks (1924)
  16. Dante's Inferno (1924)
  17. The Monster (1925)
  18. The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
  19. Wolfblood (1925)
  20. The Lost World (1925) (This might not be a horror as much as an adventure movie)
  21. Maciste in Hell (1926)
  22. The Bat (1926)
  23. Faust (1926)
  24. The Magician (1926)
  25. A Page of Madness (1926)
  26. Midnight Faces (1926)
  27. The Bells (1926)
  28. The Unknown (1927)
  29. The Lodger (1927)
  30. A Daughter of Destiny (1928)
  31. The Man Who Laughs (1928)
I've seen some of these already, but very few of them, I'll of course be watching all kinds of other horror movies as well but I plan to watch one of these a day.
If anyone has any other 1920s silent horror films they would recommend not on the list please let me know, I'm kind of hoping for a replacement for Lost World since it doesn't seem as much horror as adventure, but still if not then I can deal with dinosaurs in October.
 
Lost World is fine. It's got a dinosaur attacking a city, that's classic monster movie stuff. That and dinosaurs for years have been used as monsters in sci fi stories. There's a lot of horror stories from the late 1800s and early 1900s that have dinosaurs. Hell, it's a subcategory of weird west stories too.
 
Thanks for the recommendations! I am 100% finding room to watch Belphegor, it's 4 hours long and looks interesting as hell so good thing I found it complete with English subs on PajeetTube.

Fall of the House of Usher is a bit trickier, I was gonna include it on the list but I'm struggling to find a complete copy in English (or at least English subs) and with proper music, every copy I come across seems to have something missing and has some new digital soundtrack that I cannot stand with these movies. I suppose I could always mute the film and play some darker 1920s music in the background.
 
When I heard there would be a new adaptation of 'Salem's Lot, I was confused why I didn't see any theatrical trailers for it. Now I know why.

It will be going straight to Max in the beginning of October.

That's sad. It has a pretty good cast.
 
I watched In A Violent Nature recently and felt it was a bit over-hyped. The concept sounded interesting to me and I don't exactly have high standards when it comes to slashers so I wasn't expecting to be blown away by it, but outside of a couple of the kills (the yoga girl gets mentioned the most, but I thought the log splitter was more drawn-out and brutal) I just don't see what all the fuss was about. It's not a bad film and I wouldn't mind giving the sequel a chance whenever it comes out, but I'm kinda surprised by all the praise it has received.
 
Time for something quaint! I just watched Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell, and was pleased to find something that reminds me of a 70's Doctor Who episode - one of the ship-in-a-bottle ones starring Tom Baker, like The Horror of Fang Rock or The Robots of Death, where no one gets along, petty interpersonal struggles abound, and pretty much everyone dies. Perhaps this is an absurd comparison, like someone who watched a ton of old James Bond movies later associating everything 60's with Bond due to that being their initial and primary experience of the 60's things shown in it, but I don't think that can be entirely the case, because the era of Who this reminds me of occurred at least 7 years after this film was produced, and within a different decade. Regardless, something about this thing's overall production - sound, miniatures, and presentation - made me think of a certain era of Doctor Who in particular. Oh, as I continue to spill my opinions in numerous edits, I think I know why I'm drawing Who comparisons: a good chunk of Goke is set in what appears to be a very dusty old quarry.

Did it give me anything to think about? No. Were there any stand-out characters or performances? No. Was it exciting? No. Were there any tits? Nah, but the alien-inflicted head wounds looked kinda like pussies. But despite all that, the part of me that grew up watching the 4th Doctor on PBS had a great deal of fun imagining that this was one of the bad timelines where the Doc' didn't show up (presumably because the people initially attacked by aliens weren't British) and things went badly for everyone as a result.

If you aren't charmed by hamfisted monologues, obvious miniatures, eerie 60's sounds, and occasionally questionable special effects, or for short you were repulsed when I appreciatively compared it to an old Who episode, stay away.
 
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I did finally watch 8MM (1999). It was on my "to watch" list for decades and I tried committing to it a million years ago but Cage's performance was taking me out of it. Whenever Cage decides to play it totally straight the movie tends to suffer (excluding something like Drive Angry). I thought it was just "okay" not great but not bad. Ballsy to an extent for the year it came out but one could easily remake this and with a few changes make it one of the most depraved movies ever made. Essentially making it into A Serbian Film. I didn't like the plot twists but it was a solid mainstream Hollywood horror/thriller about snuff films and it's worth a watch.

I'm tempted to watch the direct to video sequel for shits 'n giggles.
David Fincher should have directed it.
 
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