Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

Social Media Update (thanks for preserving this r/LetsTalkBam - the only decent subreddit). Happy Birthday to Bam who turned 45 on September 28th.

1. Dannii's Happy Birthday Instagram
bamdannibday full.jpgbam danni photo.jpg
IMO this is one of the best photos of Dannii, no appearance of cranial antenna. I suspect Dannii retouched her side of the picture, and did a really poor job going heavily on the blur tool especially on her cheek. What does this prove? That Dannii is a usual woman. [Sorry this didn't lead up to anything too amusing but I spent too much time analyzing the picture.] If you believe the Green Line Test meme seriously (I don't) Bam is leaning in and Danni is at a 110 degree angle.
2. Bam's rehab message
I could only find this on Reddit, but I don't see any comments claiming it's fake and I find little reason to doubt it.
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3. Joe Frantz is still trying to make money off the scraps of CKY
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As the commenters in the Reddit thread pointed out, dude looks like Tommy Wiseau. :story: I don't know how you'd make a compelling documentary beyond a 20 minute special but I guess we'll see what Joe can do. BTW if you want to watch a nice documentary I recommend "Dumb: The Story of Big Brother Magazine" which goes over Jeff Tremaine and the non-CKY Jackass Crew.

Anyway I estimate Bam should be out of rehab by Oct 24th. Hope for Phoenix's sake this time it'll work. Keep Earthrockin YAH MON!
 
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This is the original Earth Rocker video. Youtube's most viewed version of this (that I saw) had different music edited at the end.
original data.png

My best friend Ryan Dunn died in a car accident four years ago. He's dead and gone. Iceland's his favourite place. I'm gonna build him a skatepark.
You don't have be a musician to be an Earth Rocker. Andrew Stranberg is an Earth Rocker.
My other best friend Brandon Novak is on heroin again. He's back in rehab for his sixteenth time. Good luck with that one.

Sick of the bullshit. Sick of all this shit. I don't go out anymore, cause I hate every motherfucker, I don't care what they're up to. Four years I wasted, sippin on drinks at the bar, chit-chatting with fucking nobodies. Now I stay at home, like a fucking hermit. I'm not gonna take any shit from anybody.

I know what's going on. I got set up. I got jumped. Thank god Nikki wasn't there to watch me get my fucking ass kicked. She would have wound up with a black eye and then probably went to jail. She has a big mouth.
I live for this shit. I love it. Bring it the fuck on!
Payback's a bitch motherfuck-
[Santa Cruz - Wasted and Wounded plays]
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Attractive Sexhaver said:
The worst an AA or NA addict gets is really annoying to listen to and boring at parties. I don't especially care to listen to Steve-O preach about sobriety, but I bet the people in his life are infinitely happier he's doing that and not snorting cocaine off a blood stained coffee table in some junkie's apartment or any of the other million fiend things he's shared about that period of his life.
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Disagree, I'd rather my friend be cool instead of being a nerd. Let alone an insufferable one.

If you want to stop doing drugs cool stop doing drugs. But making your entire personality and rest of your life about how you're the guy that doesn't do drugs, super cringe. Millions of people do then don't do drugs, literally no one cares.
 
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Kulee Baba said:
2. Bam's rehab message
I could only find this on Reddit, but I don't see any comments claiming it's fake and I find little reason to doubt it.
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FWIW I saw these posts with my very own eyes on his instagram story. They are legit, but I do doubt that Bam wrote them, the style of writing and presentation is very different to his usual.
 
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Even though that bam__margera account is legit, it’s not Bam making those posts. Again, you can see schizo diatribes on “captianbremebrulee” (please note the spelling). If that bam__margera account isn’t run by April, it’s run by someone at least involved with the Margera family because they use the account to shill bad merchandise. All posts made there are either old photos that paint him in a positive light or vetted from the aforementioned captiancremebrulee account.
 
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Kulee Baba said:
View attachment 6454918
"BAM MARGERA & BOSSMANJACK, WHAT'LL THEY DO NEXT? WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT!"
Anyway Bam's lawyer made this tweet.
View attachment 6455014

Love that Bam and Dannii (why is your name spelled so stupidly?) treat it more like a red carpet photo op. Bam is going back to rehab because he got a DUI, that's a pretty serious offense. Well I guess this thread will go quiet for a month. The lesson here is if you're a junkie shithead and get caught hire a decent attorney and they will turn it into a slap on the wrist. Don't be a retard and waste the court's time with nonsense like Nick Rekieta.
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On what planet does Bam only need “short term treatment”? It’s a joke! Bam’s a multiple drug addict with underlying mental health issues who has been through multiple treatments in the past and habitually relapses. He needs a long term treatment at least 90 days but maybe more considering he’s been through these programs before and keeps relapsing. Maybe if Bam payed more attention in treatment instead of wasting his time creating his own gay alphabet he would be better equipped to be alone for 3 days without relapsing. Unfortunately it seems that he will never take rehab seriously and drugs/alcohol will continue to destroy his life and health.
 
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G.Rapefruit said:
needs a long term treatment at least 90 days
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He needs therapy, and to fully engage with it. Whether he isn't able to because of all the conks to the head he's taken over the years or just doesn't want to because he is in love with the image of himself as a chaotic earth rocker fuckup is debatable, but until he fixes whatever is going on under the drugs, he won't fix the drugs.

At this point 90 days would just sober him up temporarily and then if he was really unlucky he'd come out with a reduced tolerance to everything and end up ODing on something. SMSC, I guess.
 
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Looney Troons said:
Even though that bam__margera account is legit, it’s not Bam making those posts. Again, you can see schizo diatribes on “captianbremebrulee” (please note the spelling). If that bam__margera account isn’t run by April, it’s run by someone at least involved with the Margera family because they use the account to shill bad merchandise. All posts made there are either old photos that paint him in a positive light or vetted from the aforementioned captiancremebrulee account.
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It's never been confirmed but if you look at Johnny Shillereff's (ex-CEO of Element, President and founder of Heart Supply Skayebosrds Instagram you'll see a very similar writing style to the more wholesome/sappy posts on the official Bamuel IG.

As far as anyone can tell Johnny has washed his hands of Bam so they free bam retards have alleged the culprits behind the account are including but not limited to Lima, Dannii, Surprise Witness, Jess, April, Vinny, and many more.
 
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everybody in Portugal said:
He needs therapy, and to fully engage with it. Whether he isn't able to because of all the conks to the head he's taken over the years or just doesn't want to because he is in love with the image of himself as a chaotic earth rocker fuckup is debatable, but until he fixes whatever is going on under the drugs, he won't fix the drugs.

At this point 90 days would just sober him up temporarily and then if he was really unlucky he'd come out with a reduced tolerance to everything and end up ODing on something. SMSC, I guess.
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I agree, but in additional to all of this I think he would also need a job.

He needs structure and a schedule. He also needs to be more humble. He can't be healthy in body and mind while living off of his celebrity status, traveling around and going to crappy appearances.

Therapy is essential for his future, but after that he really needs to learn how to live life.
 
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Chongqing said:
I agree, but in additional to all of this I think he would also need a job.

He needs structure and a schedule. He also needs to be more humble. He can't be healthy in body and mind while living off of his celebrity status, traveling around and going to crappy appearances.

Therapy is essential for his future, but after that he really needs to learn how to live life.
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Absolutely. And maybe that's half the trouble — he's never known what it is to just work a 'normal' job and keep his head down and focus on living well, because he's this far never had to. I like to think he'd make a good shop assistant or dog walker or forklift driver or whatever, but given who and what he is that kind of life seems to be totally out of reach.

It's interesting that of the original CKY crew the ones that have survived the most happily and stably seem to be the ones that walked away from the public eye and got regular Joe Schmoe jobs (or at least ones that don't involve basically whoring themselves to a public who are eagerly awaiting the next relapse or fuckup) and left the whole thing in their pasts.

Maybe just because he used to be so beautiful, I have a lot of genuine sadness for the way Bam has turned out. He's an amusing car crash to watch, but every so often when he's calm you get a glimpse of the life he could have had now, had it all gone a different way for him. I'm not sure that he sees any life other than the trail of chaos he's currently living as even being feasible at this point, though.

He reminds me of a richer, more famous Luna Slater in that they're both so in love with the image they have of themselves as some kind of storm or beautiful disaster. Neither have ever been able to step out of themselves enough to see what it looks like from the outside, so it's quite possible that their current situations will be the whole story for them, forever. What a waste.
 
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everybody in Portugal said:
He reminds me of a richer, more famous Luna Slater in that they're both so in love with the image they have of themselves as some kind of storm or beautiful disaster. Neither have ever been able to step out of themselves enough to see what it looks like from the outside, so it's quite possible that their current situations will be the whole story for them, forever. What a waste.
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This is so spot-on.
 
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everybody in Portugal said:
He reminds me of a richer, more famous Luna Slater in that they're both so in love with the image they have of themselves as some kind of storm or beautiful disaster. Neither have ever been able to step out of themselves enough to see what it looks like from the outside, so it's quite possible that their current situations will be the whole story for them, forever. What a waste.
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It’s been several years since I’ve visited that thread, but well put.

I recall a few years back when the Jackass 4 debacle was still going down that Bam was whining about his old “missing” Mercedes Benz S-class from back in the early 2000s. He eventually recovered it and made a huge deal about it. Like a 90,000+ dollar vehicle back then and impressive, but worth a fraction today. Doesn’t matter because it’s a Benz S-class to Bam. Do you have an S-class? No? Haha. Same with the insectoid troon skeleton creature - she was allegedly a model but we’ve all seen the mileage on that thing too. Are you married to a model? No? Haha.

It’s all a fantasy to him and he refuses to accept reality. He still sees himself as this hot shit young adult from the 2000s who is rich and above reprise, and that’s because of the people he surrounds himself with. He still manages to have connections to some rap and rock acts and you know damn well if you’re hanging out with a minor celebrity, you’re not keeping sober. Especially if you’re a substance abuser like Bam.
 
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Looney Troons said:
Because she thinks she’s clever because she’s wearing a white dress, and, therefore, it must be a nice day for a white wedding…. Because the dress is white.
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It does explain why she’s a skeleton. In LA there are tons of low tier “fashion shows” and bridal bullshit is big. These Chinese manufacturers ain’t paying for real runway models so any size 0-2 that can walk and do their own make-up will do.

Even more pathetic is lots of these desperate women will do it for free just to show they “get work” or have gigs on a resume. I can assure you nobody wanted a 45 year old Dani for a bridal show, but all that mattered is she could fit in 34-25-35 dress or smaller. Anorexia was her only way to get (unpaid) modeling gigs, and given her age and looks I’d still say they were far and few between. Bam was her last hope of hitching her wagon to something famous.
 
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