Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat, drunk, consoomer attention whore who would rather eat and drink herself to death than endure a single negative emotion

[TrainWreckSpotter]

Good Lardt.
The fact that Anna considers this a "win" and a "joy" is just sad as hell.
Which is a win and a joy for all of us on this thread.

Questions: am I the only one that genuinely loves to hate this useless toad? Like, I don't give a shit if people gimme the hats... I just want her to fall down and break an ankle already just to see that open mouth smirk wiped off her ugly face--even if only for a moment. Just me?

Yeah, I'd really like to give her a smackdown sometimes. She just tries WAY TOO HARD to be something she is obviously not.

 

[The Feline Solution]

She has a different idea of fitting then most.
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>being so fat you need to bring your own chair to the barber
I'm honestly surprised that Anna hasn't had like five heart attacks yet.

 

[Executive Petrel]

She has a different idea of fitting then most.
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Fuck, last year her size was still funny to watch. She slowly drifts off into territory where her condition is downright depressing.
I don't know how well her ADHD copes with being bedbound or if she still finds a way to trick herself into being happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy but it keeps me hooked.

 

[Postal Dudette]

I'm just getting into the Anna-verse. Thread is great!

 

[The Judean People's Front]

I'm sorry for being late and gay but I am here to defend the noble Yogurt. I bet she thinks it's meh because she's only ever had yoplait berries on the bottom stuff (which is still perfectly fine, if a bit sweet).

But if she had any sort of experience with homemade yogurt and/or full fat french style yogurt, she'd. . . Oh nevermind, she still wouldn't appreciate it because it's not designed to be eaten by the mixing bowl and is subtle in its flavors. More for me.

Thread tax: Anna is fat and yogurt would not have sex with her.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Side note: If you search "800 lb camping chair" on Amazon, several pop up. They're clearly intended for tailgating at football games, but they still show photoshopped pictures of camping. From one review "I gifted this to my friend he loves it. He even stated that it came with a bottle opener." LOLFAT!!

They also make novelty giant chairs so you can get on the Jumbotron at the game. They are comically oversized so an adult looks like a baby sitting in it. Seems uncomfortable to me, but maybe it feels like a hammock or something. The fact Anna would look like she's in a normal camping chair is absurd and I'm sure fatties are dropping the c-note on this stupid novelty to feel normal sized.

 

[OttoWest]

>being so fat you need to bring your own chair to the barber
I'm honestly surprised that Anna hasn't had like five heart attacks yet.

It’s such an odd contradiction:

>Weigh 600 lbs
>Effort needed to lug around said 600 lbs gives her the strength of a draft horse

That’s not to say Anna is healthy, just that her body has adapted in some ways to being over a quarter ton, including not having total system failures.

The human body is an odd and remarkable thing

 

[Angry New Ager]

The man who films and edits her content for her job, and the woman she pays to bleach her hair. Are her friends.

It's still a little less pathetic than Tess, who not only declared that the woman she paid to give her Brazilian waxes was her friend, but made her the guest on her (failed) podcast one week.

That salon chair is gobsmackingly huge, and she's spilling out of it like over-risen bread dough. And she thinks it's a win. And she went and posted photo proof for the entire goddamn internet to laugh over.

And here's the thing: she's made no mention of it being an XL chair; she's acting like it's a normal salon chair. And her brain-dead commenters are all congratulating her on her "non-scale victory":



Even her hairdresser joins in the congratulations, despite Anna making no mention of her forking over the money for a bariatric-sized chair:


Another client of the same hairdresser is a fat woman with lymphedema. She's much shorter than Anna, and while broad in the beam she's not as wide as Anna is. She sees that Tara got new chairs, and worries whether she'll fit in them. Instead of telling her not to worry, because it's a wider chair that Tara has generously bought in order to make her salon more accessible for deathfats, Anna holds tight to her non-scale victor status and basically says, "Well, fatty, Tara's still got the other chair that will fit your fat ass."



And to top it all off, while Anna does credit Tara with doing everything she can to make her salon accessible to fatties, she claims there are no bariatric styling chairs available—when there obviously are, because Tara bought at least one, and Anna managed to squeeze her fat ass into it.


She is outright lying, holding fast to the story that, through all of her "hard work," she has lost enough weight to fit into a standard styling chair, when that is absolutely not the case (because we have EYES, Anna).

And in doing so, she's shitting all over her "friend," who invested in a chair to accommodate fat asses. She could have said, "Look at what Tara did to make her salon more accessible!", giving Tara the credit she's due, but no—Anna's got to grab every opportunity to make herself look better, and doesn't care if she has to lie or ignore others' contributions to do it.

If I were Tara, I'd be pissed, but lucky for her she's not actually a "friend," and only has to deal with Anna's bullshit for a couple of hours every few months. So may Tara's schedule fill up with so many fat chicks who are grateful for her efforts to accommodate them, she doesn't have any slots left for Anna's lying, glory-hogging ass.

This is why we hate you, Anna.

 

[Kittehclaws]

The first thing I thought of when I saw that Snow White costume was "why is she dressed as Rosie O'Donnell from that Bus movie wearing a tiktok-hipster-cosplaying-as-1950's-trad-wife". Not sure if your lead-in or her hair/adipose tissue made me think that

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(note: this movie is unfindable, truly a Library of Alexander of our time coded)

Spoiler: Off Topic Review!

Happened to stumble on this gem while trying to confirm/deny my regarded-ness

Spoiler: off topic sorry!!

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Spoiler: Off Topic Review!

Ooooh this is one of my favorite movies to add to a terrible movie list. You can watch it Here on tubi of all places.

Plz forgive bad phone formatting.

 

[That_Ain't_Mayo]

So she fits in the salon chair due to "all her hard work" (liposuction), but just a week ago she was bitching about some old couple sitting in the double-wide fatty loveseat at the doctor's office (which was surely much wider than that salon chair). "Consistency" isn't a word in Anna's vocabulary, is it? Must be that mysterious "horrible pain" that comes and goes like Brigadoon.

Also, why doesn't she just take her fat stool with her to the doctor's office so she has a place to sit just in case those horribly selfish old people are there again?

 

[Laygs For Days]

She's so fat she's basically "sitting" on the edge of that chair. Imagine your ass being so fucking fat it's like you're actually only sitting on the edge. Christ almighty. Also, agree, she's not fooling anyone, you can tell that chair is some kind of XL extra wide special edition thing just from looking at it, NSV this ain't.

 

[Terfatron]

Anna considers Jon her 'friend' and her hairstylist her 'friend'.

The man who films and edits her content for her job, and the woman she pays to bleach her hair. Are her friends.

It's been how long since her BFF Tracy or Tricia or whatever was featured? Emely hasn't been seen since the Hawaii meltdown.

ANNA HAS NO FRIENDS. She considers her servants friends, an undue burden she places on them when they didn't sign up for such a task.

Is the Uber driver to-and-from the airport her friend? Is the nurse who squeezes her lymph out after her lipo her friend? Is the Trader Joe's cashier her friend? Is the dog kennel employee her friend? Is the DoorDasher who delivers her Starbucks her friend? Is Dr Amron her friend? Is the Starbucks social engagement management intern her friend? Is the bandage expert binding her swelling up in bandages her friend? Is the makeup artist who did her mummy makeup her friend? Is the lipedema pressure suit salesman her friend? Is the flight attendant from LA>TX her friend? Is the RunLab doctor technician her friend? Is the old lady on the walking path her friend?

If you pass Anna's vicinity and interact with her in any way, you are roped into her inner life; you have become her FRIENDtm, a certified bro who she can use to shore up her crumbling ego.

Lol boogie being the exact same type. He called the man who did the documentary on him his "friend"
The shaman he paid to give him drugs was a "friend" and then we have ayone he ever had a brief interaction with, also FRIEND . it's such a deranged, forever alone behavior.

But muh favorite part of the inspirational salon speech is how she's phrasing it like she "put in the work" and lost weight.

Gorl....

 

[Why am I doing this?]

Damn, that photo is one hell of a ride. Starting at the top and going down it takes you all the way from "She's fat but still takes care of herself" to "H.P. Lovecraft was an optimist."

 

[a hapless toad]

(note: this movie is unfindable, truly a Library of Alexander of our time coded)

You can watch it on Tubi: https://tubitv.com/movies/100015907/riding-the-bus-with-my-sister

Edit: Ninja'd by @Kittehclaws. Today is not my day! I'm gonna go fold potstickers and watch this dumb movie instead of posting on KF.

Those tables usually have two 2x6 boards for the seat, so the bench seat is at most 13 inches wide with a one inch space in between.

Edit: Sorry to carpentry sperg but a 2x6 is actually 1.5x5.5 (because nominal lumber measurements are tarded) and no one would put an inch in between the boards, a half inch maybe, so she'd be sitting on 11.5 inches at most.

Jesus, I just well actually'ed you about an inch and a half difference... I REALLY LOVE WOODWORKING OKAY.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Jesus, I just well actually'ed you about an inch and a half difference

That's OK fren, I also dig the autism.

 

[beautiful person]

It's funny, because this chick clearly has actual lympedema that actually disfigures an otherwise normal-chubby body... whereas Anna is just an extremely pear-shaped super deathfat who might have some lympedema, but honestly probably doesn't.

 

[Angry New Ager]

That's OK fren, I also dig the autism.

I now sort-of think there should be a Kiwi's Prayer, which should include the lines, "And forgive us our autism, /As we forgive those who Well, Ackshually against us..."

 

[GenociderSyo]

Threads:

 

[a hapless toad]

WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS!?!?!

(My potstickers are finished and I honestly don't think Riding the Bus with My Sister is really as bad as I remembered. Now I'm watching Fiddler on the Roof on Tubi because SHANAH TOVAH BITCHES.)

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Wtf Anna.... that orange thing needs to be BURNED immediately.