Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

I'm just coming off of a lower body injury/surgery and am out of shape as a result, but I would love to go on the mats against Patty.

I'd offer to make it an event, like at Creator Clash or something, but I'm afraid the first 10 rows would pass out from oxygen deprivation due to Patty sucking more wind than Nikki's snatch and that there isn't a McFlurry machine in existence that could stay online long enough for Patty's training regimen.
 
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Is you finished or is you done? Very very sassy.
I miss Phil Hartman.

Pat's got a juicy little mouth. But the lisp prevents him from talking about being sassy. Jutht plain Thathy.
 
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AprilRains said:
Not only that, he doesn't even try plausibly to demonstrate anything he claims. His fast draw is pathetic, his stick fu is a corpulent joke, his stand-up is cringy, he can't write to save his life. He just lies and hopes never to be called out on it.
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Even if called out on it he'd deny it.
The Taco Santo! said:
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Krav Maga? Fucking larper lol. My Jewish mother in law could kick your ass blind folded! And nice, he knows some swordsmanship so I can challenge him and not feel bad about it. Marshal killed himself so he wouldn't have to man up and face me, now it's your turn Patrick! Put your money where your mouth is!

Akido is also a joke used by nerds who want to come off as threatening because Steven Seagal uses it. It has zero practicality in a real fight.
 
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GameratePTSD said:
Pat is a 'bro' guy now.
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45 year old man: Sup brah
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That's weird, when he was listing his martial art credentials he never mentioned BJJ. He even went so far as to note a "splash of kendo" (theatrical faggot) but no BJJ.
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he’s such a histrionic faggot, I wonder if he could draw a line on the map to show us where the fascism begins.

Btw kendo is literally samurai sword combat lol, fat thinks that his practice waving lightsabers around makes him skilled in martial arts lol. I’m pretty sure any grown man with the skills to engage in sword combat wouldn’t be a big enough faggot to refer to that skill as a “splash” but I’m not working with the amount of bitch tits fat has so maybe I’m wrong here
 
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rusty shackleford 1 said:
he’s such a histrionic faggot, I wonder if he could draw a line on the map to show us where the fascism begins.

Btw kendo is literally samurai sword combat lol, fat thinks that his practice waving lightsabers around makes him skilled in martial arts lol. I’m pretty sure any grown man with the skills to engage in sword combat wouldn’t be a big enough faggot to refer to that skill as a “splash” but I’m not working with the amount of bitch tits fat has so maybe I’m wrong here
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There's around eight styles that a Samurai follow. Muso jikiden nishin-ryu is one you'd often see in media if you ever see them shaking blood off the Katana. I doubt he'd be able to do Ittu-ryu given that I doubt he can count to 144 let alone remember the 144 techniques.
 
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Something Awful said:
Rick gets rude with a civilian who took one look at Rick's profile and correctly assessed his entire existence.

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Patrick, while it's nice that you've learned how to use a comma when telling people to enjoy prison you wouldn't put one between thinks and about. This tells people you were upset that a normal person called you out on your character flaws. You're supposed to be a professional writer, please act like one.
AprilRains said:
Wot, no systema? Harsh, A.B., harsh.
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I don't think he can do commando rolls like Bam Bam Bigaloo
 
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GameratePTSD said:
That's weird, when he was listing his martial art credentials he never mentioned BJJ. He even went so far as to note a "splash of kendo" (theatrical faggot) but no BJJ.
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I originally started this post with "Even if he trained consistently in any of these styles..." but then I realized posting that was incredibly stupid faggotry because it's so obvious he doesn't do anything requiring physical exertion consistently.
AnOminous said:
Nice boobs, dude.
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I bet you he's secretly proud of those. As well and as quickly as they're growing there's no way he's not consciously making it happen.
30+GameOvers said:
I can smell this pic.
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I asked the ladies at work what the most stereotypical fuckboy cologne a fat faggot tryhard (with bitch tits) would wear, and a lot of them said Sauvage. If Porky here wears that it's only because he misread the name for "Sausage."
rusty shackleford 1 said:
Btw kendo is literally samurai sword combat lol,
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I'm not going to claim I know enough about swordsmanship with a katana to be able to warp behind you with one and tell you it's nothing personnel, but I've cut a few things with katana before (some friends who are super weebs and train this stuff religiously invited me to do a bit with them and their instructor).

To really get penetrative cutting techniques that would kill required something very different from what kendo competitors do. I say this because even if Pig Tits was a skilled combatant with a shinai I wouldn't take that to mean he's any sort of threat with an actual sword.

Plus look at how soft and very fat he is. His face, his hands, his posture all say he doesn't do any of the things he claims to be a master at. Well, except for eating, oinking, cleaning his half hovel, and sprinting those trotters on his phone screen to correcT the recorD.
 
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Dean Pentel said:
I asked the ladies at work what the most stereotypical fuckboy cologne a fat faggot tryhard (with bitch tits) would wear, and a lot of them said Sauvage. If Porky here wears that it's only because he misread the name for "Sausage."
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Dior Sauvage? I don't think he could afford $180. It would cut into his pub slop and cheap beer.
 
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Anonymus Fluhre said:
He has not once proven that he's a master at whatever he claims to be a professional at. If Patrick claimed to be a survivalist he'd eat the wrong berry on day one and die.
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NoooOOOoooOOO child, he wouldn't. He would get his face mauled off after trying to child a bear. Wait for the knock.
 
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