Nick is like a ball in a pinball machine right now, jumping from one thing to another and back again while attempting to find some meaning or purpose in his life. No doubt he has competing pressures bearing down on him from all sides, his parents, his trust-fund, the courts, his religion, his sinful lifestyle, his children, his pet crack-whore, his crack-whore wife, the bottle, his recovery meetings (that he's too good for), Montagraph & his corrupt lawyer, the corrupt Pastor, the corrupt DA, the corrupt CPS workers, the corrupt Judges, the corrupt Lab Technicians, the corrupt Police, probably the corrupt dog catcher, Kiwis (who have ordered him to stop streaming) and then there's his ex boyfriend Aaron.
He brought it all on himself, he proudly stated on stream that he "Chose his Midlife Crisis" with the insinuation that he could control wherever it went, it was just cope all along. Jersh was right, get a fucking hobby dude, go plant a garden or take up golf like a boring well adjusted person might, and stop acting like an embarrassing twenty something while in your forties.