Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[King Kiwi]

I spotted flutter at Walmart so I decided to seal her in a box and sell her on the internet.
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Chris isn't going to like this.

He doesn't have the reverse voodoo amulet, he left it back in Virginia.

Seriously, the up close look of her of those AI models made her face closer to a rotting onion with Parkinson's.

 

[BeatboxBill]

Depending on how autistic her family is, they may not care. Some who is actually Finnish would need to verify this idea, but if Chris at some point qualifies for the suomalainen hinaaja, he could very well not be a financial consideration to them. And if she's on the spectrum, that may bump up the combo counter on what they receive from the government if they're married. It's like state-supported counter-eugenics.

No sane parent would ever allow their daughter to marry Chris Chan

Thing is, they're both legally considered to be adults - at least, as far as we know. Neither one's families really have any say in whether they get hitched or not. But, yeah, there are a lot of variables for them to take into account before getting to that point, assuming it's going that way.

I have a feeling Chris is lying about Flutter being 30 years old because she looks at least in her 20s, but not 30.

I am not saying for definite that the "Helmi Ikävalko" person is her, but if some likely chance that it is her then she is definitely not 30 years old because from looking up her socials online, she would be at least 21 years old by now as Helmi Ikävalko was 12 years old in 2013 which means her year of birth would be 2001.

Sure, they’re both legally allowed to marry, but it’s still pretty gross that they have that 19 year age gap.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I have a feeling Chris is lying about Flutter being 30 years old because she looks at least in her 20s, but not 30.

I am not saying for definite that the "Helmi Ikävalko" person is her, but if some likely chance that it is her then she is definitely not 30 years old because from looking up her socials online, she would be at least 21 years old by now as Helmi Ikävalko was 12 years old in 2013 which means her year of birth would be 2001.

Sure, they’re both legally allowed to marry, but it’s still pretty gross that they have that 19 year age gap.

No, she's got a face of a woman in her 30s. Definitely not 20s.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

No sane parent would ever allow their daughter to marry Chris Chan

Well, yeah. That was my point when I said that, "[d]epending on how autistic her family is, they may not care."

Sure, they’re both legally allowed to marry, but it’s still pretty gross that they have that 19 year age gap.

If the 41 years between Chris and Barb weren't an impediment to him, then a potential 19 years between him and Flutter probably wouldn't even be a blip on his radar.

Hell, there's probably not much on this planet that he wouldn't attempt to gruntingly jam the ol' bent duck into given half a chance.

 

[AnOminous]

If you call banging a cabbage midget a good ending, I don't think you've watched enough movies.

It sure beats what he deserves which is to rot in a rape dungeon for the rest of his fat life.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Well.
I am back.
That was surely eventful.
For the record, just because I had a two week ban doesn't mean I didn't investigate shit and I do intend on sharing a lot of it either here, the Helsinki thread or the Random Chris Updates.
Tomorrow, however, I will need a MASSIVE rewrite of this thread, because the galpal/finnish theory actually got confirmed and in style!
Bar that though, I have a few observations about Christory, a confirmation of Caden deleting Etsy comments, as well as a few other things...

 

[85CentSoda]

Well.
I am back.

Glad you're back. You do good work.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Glad you're back. You do good work.

Thanks!
I am actually pissed at the ban, because I actually managed to confirm the April-May visit even before that was confirmed by Octopox.

Update: Not ideal, but the post was updated.
Biggest piece of new info?
Flutter's from South Ostrobothnia.

 

[King Kiwi]

Thanks!
I am actually pissed at the ban, because I actually managed to confirm the April-May visit even before that was confirmed by Octopox.

Update: Not ideal, but the post was updated.
Biggest piece of new info?
Flutter's from South Ostrobothnia.

How'd you find out? Is it on that Finnish message board?

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

How'd you find out? Is it on that Finnish message board?

It's in the first post. Basically, a guy claims to have went with her to school. Haven't given us any details, however, bar their year (1992) and region (South Ostrobothnia)
Ah, right, because we have Americans there, most of you are, in fact.
South Ostrobothnia has a little under 200 thousand citizens, with 125 comprehensive schools. This means that finding Flutter would be near impossible if we didn't know the exact school, but if we had, she'd be piss easy to locate. We'd just have to look at the graduations around the year 2010.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

It's in the first post. Basically, a guy claims to have went with her to school. Haven't given us any details, however, bar their year (1992) and region (South Ostrobothnia)
Ah, right, because we have Americans there, most of you are, in fact.
South Ostrobothnia has a little under 200 thousand citizens, with 125 comprehensive schools. This means that finding Flutter would be near impossible if we didn't know the exact school, but if we had, she'd be piss easy to locate. We'd just have to look at the graduations around the year 2010.

Which would put her approximate age at around 32.

Nice work, both here and in the other threads.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Which would put her approximate age at around 32.

Nice work, both here and in the other threads.

The year is of the user. Flutter could be different from that.
That being said, 31-32 is still the ballpark, especially since Chris said a year ago that she's 30.

 

[FinnSven]

I mean, it could be that Flutter is just a giant piece of shit like Chris is. It could be that because of the Finnish language, her antics are more difficult to track down. People think she's some nice girl Chris found, but what if she's a giant lolcow cunt we just don't have the info on yet?

These Finns from this message board would have recognized her right away then, should she have been some sort of Finnish lolcow unknown outside of Finnish speakers.

I've met some 25+ autismo women(female) who clearly overconsume anime and do a little girl voice and get their hairstyles and fashion sense from said anime. I don't mean outright cosplay like completely socially oblivious troons do, I mean a workplace acceptable approximation of it. It never translates well to irl but isn't by itself much of an indicator of anything except awkward nerdiness.

It's probably either this, or the person who claimed she spoke that way was unaware that she had a squeaky high voice, not unlike many small women, and thought her Finnish accent sounded like an "anime" accent.

Again, I have to point out that most Yanks, and presumably Random Redditors, don't especially have a developed ear for accents.
Until we get a decent length of a recording of her speaking, we can't go on the word of some random who heard her say like three words which he claimed meant she had "no" accent, and another random who may even have been hearing what he wanted to hear.

 

[King Kiwi]

They say it's all downhill in your thirties.

But at least Flutter isn't related to Chris so that's a step up.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

The year is of the user. Flutter could be different from that.
That being said, 31-32 is still the ballpark, especially since Chris said a year ago that she's 30.

So people who claim that they went to school with Flutter posted in that thread but didn't give any details what school it was or what her name was? That's pretty weak on their part

I agree that she probably comes from money. It'd explain why she was able to basically come here anytime she wants and doesn't care enough about being identified that she'd get with Chris.

 

[Dumbspectator]

I agree that she probably comes from money. It'd explain why she was able to basically come here anytime she wants and doesn't care enough about being identified that she'd get with Chris.

I don’t see why you’d think that she comes from money? Sure the travel costs are something, but if you have a decent paying job, especially one where you manage a lot of your own hours, it’s totally within reason. There’s nothing to indicate that she’s particularly well off or was born into an affluent family imo.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I don’t see why you’d think that she comes from money? Sure the travel costs are something, but if you have a decent paying job, especially one where you manage a lot of your own hours, it’s totally within reason. There’s nothing to indicate that she’s particularly well off or was born into an affluent family imo.

It's not so much the money, it's the having time to travel like she is

 

[Dumbspectator]

It's not so much the money, it's the having time to travel like she is

Maybe. Or she’s someone who works remotely. Could also be someone who’s on a government benefit and de facto retires because of some disability and or illness. Some savings, Chris also pitches in.

If she is wealthy then she needs to hire a stylist, because her clothes looks like an average office employee.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

I wonder how that wedding would go. Doubt it would be in a church or anything what with Jesus Christ getting hitched. Sonichu wedding? No one there but Flutter, Chris and his imaginary critters?

All I know is he'd likely insist on wearing a dress. If so, we need pics - something extra hilarious about an outfit designed for the curvature of a female figure, on a refrigerator shaped male body.

Yeah, I'll admit it appears I was wrong about her being in it with Caden.

That being said, Flutter is a shitty person for feeding his delusions (if his marriage announcement post is accurate). She's feeding his delusions since he's still going on with the alternate dimension and Jesus and being married to Sonichu character bullshit. I hope the next photo of her shows her face clearly and her family sees it because that's worthy of shame

On that note I'm curious to know if she believes the trans stuff - does she consider it a lesbian relationship despite the presence of a (bent) wang? Or is she simply going "yes dear, sure you do" when Chris says he's got a female soul, alongside all his other miscellaneous delusions? We can only speculate but I suspect she's probably just humouring him - doesn't care what he thinks he is, she's probably one of those crazy women who likes equally crazy men or thinks she can fix him.

And while I know acceptance of gayness/gender shit is generally widespread in much of Europe, though can vary from country to country, but any Finnish Kiwis know what it's like in Finland in particular? I'm imagining it's similar to Sweden where just about anything goes (except both Finland and Sweden have come to their senses when it comes to drugging confused kids) but could be completely wrong.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

On that note I'm curious to know if she believes the trans stuff - does she consider it a lesbian relationship despite the presence of a (bent) wang? Or is she simply going "yes dear, sure you do" when Chris says he's got a female soul, alongside all his other miscellaneous delusions? We can only speculate but I suspect she's probably just humouring him - doesn't care what he thinks he is, she's probably one of those crazy women who likes equally crazy men or thinks she can fix him.

Or she's the first recruit into the cult of Chris' fuck-only-knows-what religious beliefs. A year from now, he'll have a compound; three years hence, it'll be Jonestown II. The main difference: Fanta instead of Flavor-Aid, but with the added bonus of extra chromosomes to go with the cyanide.