Horrorcow Zoe Quinn / Chelsea Van Valkenburg / Locke Valentine / @UnburntWitch / @Primeape / CrashOverride / Hat Box / Old Uncle Anime - Con Artist, Abuser, Sexual Harasser, Drove Alec Holowka to Suicide.

[VortekPMD]

Chelsea should be sponsored by Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

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The Kamasutra is not wrestling.

 

[Hellfire]

 

[Test Business]

Is it too early for an Owen Hart scenario?

 

[DoctorGonzo]

Is it too early for an Owen Hart scenario?

Or a mass transit one.

 

[NQ 952]

Who changes career paths faster: Wu or Chelsea?

 

[PhantomDiploma]

> stand up experience

Everything of hers is a continuation of the "Katy the Penguin of Doom" post. I'm sure that would go well during an open mike night.
Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do to embellish the notion of someone who makes a living off her thin skin doing comic entertainment.

> I wonder if I can incorporate my magnetic implant into any cool ring tricks

I'm putting my money on getting "Wrestler Dies in MRI After First Match" in the LA Times the day after breaking her neck during a tumble, following a primal charge at her opponent during the smack talk phase. She isn't famous for her ability to take a good ribbing.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

> stand up experience

... did you not watch her at the UN? Shit was off the hook fam

 

[AnOminous]

... did you not watch her at the UN? Shit was off the hook fam

I thought she was mostly sitting while Anita did the actual work.

 

[buffaloWildWings]

I thought she was mostly sitting while Anita did the actual work.

She was sitting like a big, strong, black woman who need no man.
That takes real courage.

 

[Coldgrip]

Zozo? The town in Final Fantasy 6 full of liars and thieves? Seems a good fit for Chelsea.

 

[Patrick Buttman]

Zozo? The town in Final Fantasy 6 full of liars and thieves? Seems a good fit for Chelsea.

It's also the word spelled out by the runes on Led Zeppelin's seminal "IV" album. It's fitting because Chelsea is buying a stairway to heaven, and has bustled a fair amount of hedgerows.

 

[Hatoful Dandy]

Zozo? The town in Final Fantasy 6 full of liars and thieves? Seems a good fit for Chelsea.

And she based her wrestling name on the best Jojo's Bizarre Adventure protagonist...though she does have both laziness and infidelity in common with him...

 

[H3LLH4MM3R666]

No votes for Zoe "the Bi-polar Steamroller" Quinn?

 

[David_cadbury]

Is there video of her doing standup?

 

[Fully Interlocking Pieces]

Is there video of her doing standup?

No standup, just on her back

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

It's also the word spelled out by the runes on Led Zeppelin's seminal "IV" album. It's fitting because Chelsea is buying a stairway to heaven, and has bustled a fair amount of hedgerows.

Nah yo that's Zoso

 

[360NoTrope]

You'd think roller derby would be more in her wheelhouse.

 

[Robot Holocaust]

You'd think roller derby would be more in her wheelhouse.

We already had one bad remake of Rollerball, we don't need two. Get her to join Death Race 2000 instead.

 

[CyrusKissFanClub]

Chelsea is such a great programmer and public speaker that she can instruct others on how to become superb programmers and public speakers.

WTF does chainmail craft have to do with OOP?

And no one puts that question to her because she would deem it an attack and issue a block.

 

[randomfarmer]

How did her horrific sausage fingers weave chain mail?