Convinced I'm MTF, come out to many people, now I feel nothing!
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I've been grappling with the "am I trans" question for over a year at this point, I thought I was strongly settled that I am. Ready for HRT, etc.
So two weeks ago I came out to a group of about 20 good friends making a total of about 40. This group is connected to my church and choir so it could leak more especially as teen children of my friends will have been told. I told them because it was time but also because my wife was tired of the secret. Ok.
Ever since my confidence that I'm a woman has waned until today I don't feel anything. I now feel a little foolish. I've kept myself busy this week (I've not worked in over a year, depression, etc) on DIY, etc.
I sort of now wonder if I felt trans as a comfort, or something to fill the unoccupied hours. An excess of trans Reddit. That I overamplified some gender non conformity, some boredom and came to the conclusion "I'm a woman".
The uncertainty of the last 18 months is now exacerbated by so many more people knowing.
I'm due to start HRT in December and I don't trust myself that it's the right thing. I'm probably going to start anyway as I can always stop if it's not for me.
Update: Can I just say what an absolutely awesome community we have on this sub (and the other trans subs I'm on). So much support for this post but also the myriad of other posts I've previously made. Awesome, thank you x