Is it ok to have doubts before my SRS?
Is it normal to have doubts before my SRS?
To give a lil background, I'm almost 30, I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria since my teens, I denied it and tried to live like that for years...until i couldn't. I also have extreme OCD, so that makes me obssess over thoughts way too much, even my dysphoria, or doubts abt it.
I almost unalived myself multiple times bcos of how bad the dysphoria was, now I finally have the chance to get SRS, I already have the surgery appointment in few days but now I started to doubt everything about my gender identity, there is no doubt that i have extreme dender dysphhoria symptoms, but i keep having these intrusive thoughts like " am I really a girl? Or is this just escapism", "having this organ is better than this" or "but what about this time when in th shower you didn't cry"-I always cry when I shower. And "these are all feelings bcos of bad childhood traumas" or "these are obsessions."
I know deep down, usually when all the voices calm down, I'd do anything to have this surgery, I already sacrifised so much for it. and I do know what my body should have been like, all this hatred for my body stemmed from my supressed dysphoria, but i cant shut down the voices, Is this normal?