🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Obnoxious Asshole]

Luckily for him, the compressive form of radial neuropathy almost always fully heals with supportive treatment and time (generally only the humeral fracture form is permanent) so he'll be back to sniffing awful things again in only a few months.

The Mormon forger who took to blowing clients up permanently damaged his forging hand by compressing the nerve in his prison cell. So there is still hope for a Rage Pig with a gimpy trotter.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

It wouldn't be a real trip to California without Ethan finding some new way to seriously injure himself. This time, Ethan fell asleep at the airport and gave himself compressive radial neuropathy, colloquially known as 'Saturday night palsy':

I love how Ralph NEEDS to include "lol" at the end of every tweet that might make him look weak. Like he preemptively is like "I'M NOT OWNED I WAS LAUGHING SEE I WROTE 'lol' "

 

[Thorndyke Special]

I see he's finally admitting to "sleeping at the airport" as the explanation for why it takes him days to travel between cities. We knew it already, of course, but it's nice when he owns himself. Poor Ralph wishes he was rich enough to travel from one place to another in a few hours like a normal person without needing to sleep at airports.

 

[Tiger Jack]

The most accident-prone pig in all the land,
He has one good eye, and one good hand!

 

[HackerX]

I see he's finally admitting to "sleeping at the airport" as the explanation for why it takes him days to travel between cities. We knew it already, of course, but it's nice when he owns himself. Poor Ralph wishes he was rich enough to travel from one place to another in a few hours like a normal person without needing to sleep at airports.

I'd love to know the real reason why it's a goddamn journey when he flies to the US now. I'd legitimately neck myself if it took 3-5 days to complete a trip that can be accomplished in 6 hours. A lounge makes long layovers more tolerable, but he can't afford that either. I suspect he may have been barred from certain airports or airlines related to his sperging in August.

 

[Look--an Alien!]

It wouldn't be a real trip to California without Ethan finding some new way to seriously injure himself. This time, Ethan fell asleep at the airport and gave himself compressive radial neuropathy, colloquially known as 'Saturday night palsy':
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https://archive.ph/HB8wA

By far the most common cause of this specific injury is being too drunk to correct your posture while asleep:
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https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12188953/

The absolute irony of losing the ability to stick out his thumb, out of literally any possible injury, while halfway through a trip to see Faith Vickers is quite profound:
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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK557520/

Luckily for him, the compressive form of radial neuropathy almost always fully heals with supportive treatment and time (generally only the humeral fracture form is permanent) so he'll be back to sniffing awful things again in only a few months.

I cannot fathom a more embarrassing story, especially for a near-40 year old adult.

Too drunk, slept on hand, temporarily disabled-- all because he had to sleep in an airport terminal like a literal bum and can't go a single day without numbing his eternal, endless suffering with some chemical concoction.

Five star days, indeed!

 

[repentance]

Aaron's ex-wife has expressed an interest in traveling to Merida for an in-studio interview with Ralph, though she also just said she "would love to be" Nick Rekieta's wife so she may not be in the running for Baby Mama #3

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(Archive)

When she posted that, my first thought was that she was talking about drugs, not travel.

I'd love to know the real reason why it's a goddamn journey when he flies to the US now. I'd legitimately neck myself if it took 3-5 days to complete a trip that can be accomplished in 6 hours. A lounge makes long layovers more tolerable, but he can't afford that either. I suspect he may have been barred from certain airports or airlines related to his sperging in August.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a passport and can't fly directly into the US. And of course he's poor, too.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Like I've said before, Ralph's got the heart of a gunt, the liver of an alcoholic, the brain of swiss cheese, and now the arm of a cripple.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

See now if he wasn't such a broke bitch this could have all been avoided by not having to spend hours sitting in various airports and riding the budget bus to his destination

Suffa Piggy

 

[wrangled tard]

Are we sure this isn't just a very slow acting stroke? Once his left leg goes that's it.

 

[NaggotFigger]

One good eye and one good arm left. If only Piggertits isn't a dirt broke pig with quadruple titties and bifurcated gunt, he would've not sleep in the airport like those people that slept in the airports because they can't deport back to their home or other cities. Piggy is a retarded nigger that always pilling himself and dose himself in alcohol and seething at ayylawgs and the Kino Casino.

It'll heal, but piggy is broke, so we'll see.

 

[Raiken]

"another part of my body is giving up, i may be stuck in a wheelchair and may be on dialysis with both my legs amputated, but at least i'm not joshua conner moon.

lol"

 

[There She Glows]

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[Mr. Manchester]

Ralph is inching ever closer to the ultimate prize of any white trash pile of garbage.

Disability checks.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Knowing Ralph’s copium gland is 5x larger than the average manlets, makes me think he could have something more serious.
Like this fat fuck has actually puked up blood and coped that it’s totally normal to vomit black ooze. + Ralph is afraid of doctors same way he’s afraid of child support or metokurs house.

 

[AltisticRight]

Aaron's ex-wife has expressed an interest in traveling to Merida for an in-studio interview with Ralph, though she also just said she "would love to be" Nick Rekieta's wife so she may not be in the running for Baby Mama #3

He think she's a 9/10, there is a 100% chance that piggy will make a move and it blows up in this fat, quadruple-titties-having face.

By far the most common cause of this specific injury is being too drunk to correct your posture while asleep:

Suffah, Ralph.

 

[Swole McPole]

Ethan fell asleep at the airport and gave himself compressive radial neuropathy, colloquially known as 'Saturday night palsy':

This Is Serious Mum!

 

[Racist Parrot]

By far the most common cause of this specific injury is being too drunk to correct your posture while asleep

I knew a guy in high school that got drunk and passed out on his arm. They ended up amputating it from no blood flow for so long.

 

[Null]

one day soon ralph is just going to fall asleep and not wake up

 

[break these cuffs]

one day soon ralph is just going to fall asleep and not wake up

I think there are a lot of people like me who are pretty surprised it hasn't happened these past couple years. A small part of me holds out hope that it's because Ralph is meant for something greater, like an Odd Couple arc with Dax after he gets pinched with a bunch of dope and flees the country his daddy gave him as well.