🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[AncientPhosphur]

Guys. I think he’s gone in the most poetic way possible. Bullied by Josh into seeing his son, Ralph was killed in his return trip home when a truck carrying corn slammed into his passenger bus.

Spoiler

It’s from Saturday but a man can dream

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I don't think we've seen the last of Ralph. God has decided that Ralph will just slowly fall apart. Which body part do you think he's damaged this time?

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Rekieta told me!

 

[Rage Pig]

The crippled pig is alive, retweets RPG.

 

[Guntkvd]

View attachment 6578045
Rekieta told me!

Who will pay for Ralph's grave in the first place?

 

[Gruntgar The Indentured]

Who will pay for Ralph's grave in the first place?

Grave? Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.

 

[A Log in D Tractor 2]

Who will pay for Ralph's grave in the first place?

How will we even know when he finally dies? If you're the Mexican cop who finds Ralph's body in some hotel room somewhere, who do you call?

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

How will we even know when he finally dies? If you're the Mexican cop who finds Ralph's body in some hotel room somewhere, who do you call?

I mean, that's fair. But I know just who to call...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukarne

SuKarne is a Mexican multinational corporation based in Culiacán, Mexico, that operates in the food protein industry. It is part of a family of companies under Grupo SuKarne. The company annually exports the largest percentage of beef, pork, and chicken in Mexico, with at least 76% of the market.

Oh nevermind (for now):

https://x.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1851673113219498404

https://archive.ph/M8PIa

Edit to add: .ph is slow, so https://ghostarchive.org/archive/SCK61

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Oh no not his cracking hoof! How will he post photos of himself pointing at things now!

 

[Cyberpunk Meta]

Piggertits more like crippletits. Even his own body is alogging him.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

At this rate he's going to be Ricky Berwick by next year.

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

I mean, that's fair. But I know just who to call...
View attachment 6578422

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukarne

Oh nevermind (for now):
View attachment 6578433

https://x.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1851673113219498404

https://archive.ph/M8PIa

Edit to add: .ph is slow, so https://ghostarchive.org/archive/SCK61

Rage Pig has osteoporosis. What an embarassing old woman she's become.

 

[Near]

lol cripplenigga

How are you gonna challenge people to no-show ring fights now?

 

[Die For Me!]

I mean, that's fair. But I know just who to call...
View attachment 6578422

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukarne

Oh nevermind (for now):
View attachment 6578433
"You have a very serious nerve injury" lol. Got ultrasounds, but it's not severed. Got a wrap on my forearm with CBD cream to reduce inflammation on the nerve. Orthopedist next.

so the only good news you got was that it's not severed? This is sounding a lot worse then originally assumed. You also left out how long your arm is out of commission, could it be because you fucked it up so bad the doctors told you something the a-logs would have a field day over? Could it be Ralph, that it may never be coming back? Sounds like someone was too busy sobbing to himself trying to cope with his new-found one arm life to even try to spin this into a W. Probably considering suicide too, he's just not cut out for the #SpiteLyfe if you want to know the truth about it!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Getting big leagued by Teddy Feaser is literal rock bottom

 

[Rage Pig]

At this rate he's going to be Ricky Berwick by next year.

You might even call this chain of unfortunate events the RALPHACURSE hahahahaha lol lmao

 

[Tiger Jack]

It's always funny when Ralph spends 24+ hours offline that everyone's immediate assumption is that he must be dead. I don't know if that says more about him or the aylogs.

 

[lester]

It's always funny when Ralph spends 24+ hours offline that everyone's immediate assumption is that he must be dead. I don't know if that says more about him or the aylogs.

I think we're just hopeful.
I mean there has to be a time when Sandra pulls him out. Got to be.
Like the last time poor piggy was getting bullied in junior high.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I think we're just hopeful.

I get nervous, personally. If Ralph is going to die it had better be in some spectacular way. Even Ralph would agree with that.

 

[lester]

Well, what does he always say about any of his enemies that week? "Eat a bullet". So, most likely he has chosen his own demise.
But yeah, devoured by Hammerhead sharks on his deep sea scuba adventure. Or always a perennial favorite - mauled by a bear. Unfortunately the gunt don't do no bullshit.