Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Procrastinhater]

Not really. There is really no one that comes close so he is a solid lock-in for 2024.

For next year I propose the following changes to the rules of the lolcow of the year elections:
1, Nick Rekita can not participate
2, Family, friends or orbiters of Nick Rekita can not participate
3, Rename the award "The Baldo Award"
4, All threads about Nick will have a permanent sticker "No matter what fucked up shit Nick does, he is not eligble to be nominated for lolcow of the year"

We need to do this to make the playing-field fair for the other participants. Like how NBA had to continously change the rules to make Kareem Abdul Yabar not win every single year.

Twice isn't enough imo. Other cows have won twice. Chris won twice I think, so did Yaniv, and Yaniv was twice in a row. If Balldo wins three years running, then I'd say rename it to the Balldo Award and permanently retire him, give him a Lifetime Ruination Award. Shit I'd even chip in to send him a physical plaque he can put up to replace his "many kids will protect you in court" plaque that I'm betting he smashed off his head like Daniel Larson as soon as he read that post upthread.

 

[AnOminous]

And on that note, just what did nick already DO to kayla to get her looking like a fallout ghoul years prior?

"What's the matter, smoothskin, never seen a ghoul before?"

 

[Procrastinhater]

There wouldn't be felony levels of cocaine if dickheads like Nick didn't do things like expose children to it. Libertarians should be the angriest at Nick. Nick is worse than the person that steals to feed his habit.

What do libertarians think should happen to the person that steals a TV so they can avoid work and buy drugs? Now add neglect kids to that.

Nick is the dickhead that forced these laws into existence. It was drunk dickheads like Nick that made prohibition a thing, not scandinavian prudes.

And when he sides with Nick over the government and says "fuck the government they should lose every time" he's really saying "fuck the kids they should lose every time." It definitely sucks that drug possession is a crime and the government has controls over prescription drugs. And we only have dickheads like Nick to blame. He can't just fuck up his own life, he has to to fuck over kids.

100%
Libertarians always want everything to be down to personal choice, and I may sympathize a lot because I don't want the Government poking their nose into our lives more than necessary. I think ideally Government should keep the lights on, fix the roads and maintain standards for infrastructure, and stop us from being invaded and otherwise keep out the fucking way, but that kind of idealism is unworkable, and its because of fuckheads like Nick that have no self control and ruin everyone and everything around them because they can't keep their shit squared away.

 

[AnOminous]

13) Being dunked on by troons on a regular basis

You did 13 twice. But also, not only being dunked on by troons but even everyone on Kiwi Farms thinks the troon had a point.

I think you mean WEIRD. Possibly FUNNY.

"Not funny ha-ha, funny queer."

There is not last stand for Rekeita, just an endless circling of the drain whilst being thoroughly mocked, and their is no point in saying hello to his little friend because apparently every crackhead in Minnesota and Jamaica already has.

What, you mean there's no moment where Cuckieta lisps out in his nasal, gay voice "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" before undoing his Hot Topic belt, dropping his trousers, and showing them his Balldo?

sigh...Libertarians

But. What. If. The. Child. Consents.

When these are the last people on your side you should just off yourself already.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

If Kayla's bolted or is at least on her way out the door, I'm not surprised. The kids being taken by CPS is usually a wake up call and the dawning realisation that Nick won't/can't clean his act up might make her finally take that step. I'm sure her family is in the background encouraging her to get the fuck out too.

 

[Triggerni66er]

Twice isn't enough imo. Other cows have won twice. Chris won twice I think, so did Yaniv, and Yaniv was twice in a row. If Balldo wins three years running, then I'd say rename it to the Balldo Award and permanently retire him, give him a Lifetime Ruination Award. Shit I'd even chip in the send him a physical plaque he can put up to replace his "many kids will protect you in court" plaque that I'm betting he smashed as soon as he read that post upthread.

He can't win it again, he can and will fall further but it's nowhere near as steep as a fall from where he was at his peak.

 

[Bob Barbas]

Rekieta Law more like Rekieta's L

Rekieta's Law: Even if Rekieta has the money to pay his fees, he will not, because he is a retard.

 

[Procrastinhater]

He can't win it again, he can and will fall further but it's nowhere near as steep as a fall from where he was at his peak.

I don't think I've ever seen someone fall as far as Balldo and as fast. Most other cows were always fuckups, thats why they're cows. Balldo had the American Dream handed to him, he never had to work for a fucking thing really, apart from the law license he used to have that he gave up to snort coke and send money to pedophiles.
He had a nice house, a law degree, 5 kids, a career as one of the biggest streamers and superchat earners on YouTube, a contract with Rumble, and he burned it all down because he's a dork that can't control his animal urges.

 

[where's baldo]

with some minor branding tweaks we can keep the show going, Nick. don't let the kiwis win, looking forward to your comeback stream!

 

[AnOminous]

Compare Cuckieta to any other famous cow.

Chris-Chan was born a retard, grew up a retard, had retarded parents who tarded him out his whole life, made sure he was on tard bucks, and amazingly, he's still a tard.

Cuckieta DELIBERATELY turned HIMSELF into the absolute utter fucking tard he is today.

 

[not william stenchever]

don't think I've ever seen someone fall as far as Balldo and as fast. Most other cows were always fuckups, thats why they're cows.

Compare Cuckieta to any other famous cow.

More lolcow than lolcow. This reprobate nigga is a fucking Lolrouchs.

 

[Glowie]

Imagine Nick trying to use video evidence that doesn't have a proper chain of custody (and that's only going to confirm the state of the house).

Nick is persona non grata in lawyer circles since he's disbarred from defending himself he needs a lawyer to defend him, fight his custody battles in court. No-one in their right mind would jeapordize their careers and getting future client just for defending a deadbeat and losing

 

[Bill Evans 45]

"Nit because I'm tough, but because things make you mad yhar shouldn't." - Nick Rekieta

This text is giving big 'literally crying and shaking rn' energy.

 

[Hellion]

"Ya know it's interesting you rape a 9yo, beat your wife or maybe start hanging out around gay bars and everyone ups and starts acting very concerned about this one very specific thing with your life with no real concern over anything else"
Whoa that is, interesting... truly fascinating.

Just going back through older posts and this was a very concerning funny and weird joke Balldo made in Nov 2023. Was it already known he was going to Gay 90s at that point?

 

[not william stenchever]

Just going back through older posts and this was a very concerning funny and weird joke Balldo made in Nov 2023. Was it already known he was going to Gay 90s at that point?

Yes. I'll get the rope if you start doing the gallows math.

 

[datura_binge]

Be honest and tell my this guy isn't Nick. This might be the most delusional thing I've ever seen. So if a kid ingests some. Cleaning supplies it's a definitely a crime but if they ingest COCAINE you are reaching and it's pre-crime and everyone is innocent? This is such a baffling line of logic I feel like this has to be a swiss cheese brain like Nick.

View attachment 6589859

 

[FiveStarAce]

Maybe now he will reflect on his past decisions lol

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

His wealth is questionable. It isn't known when he started being able to draw from it and what terms/amounts.

Where as suddenly he sits on 6 figures from Depp and then suddenly a high 5 figure monthly revenue. He degenerated like someone who hasn't previously had large amounts of disposable income.

I sort of think this demonstrates the parents have tight reins on the trust fund and why they do. I think Nick having 5 kids and going to law school was all an attempt at getting the purse strings loosened. The fifth kid unlocked an extra house, much nicer and bigger than the first. The kids also effect shares in the trust, which is why a guy who doesn’t even seem to like kids has five. i think Kayla did want a big family, I think Nick saw them as a way to eventually get majority control in the trust and more money now.

I think Nick’s mental break has a lot to do with the fact the image that got him success on YT was total BS. He fed the idea he was the successful small town lawyer trad dad Christian…and people ate it up. The reality was he was a very unsuccessful lawyer, he never supported a family of five, the trust fund did and the Christian stuff was a false facade.

Early on I did wonder how the fuck a guy with five kids and a solo practice had all this time to fuck around online late into the night…but now we know the answer. He was basically a bored trust funder which makes a lot more sense. Idle hands and devil’s work.

I’ve assumed his parents were encouraging to become a big boy with a real job. They supported his large family and paid for him to go to law school, even rented him a big boy office! Yet it amounted to nothing. His streaming became the first real professional accomplishment of his adult life and he was making significant money his parents had no oversight of….and we can see how well that went.

I think all the stupid lies and hilarious excuses Nick spews is the shit that has worked well on his parents for fifteen years. It’s why we constantly hear how busy he is with keeds, it’s the same shit he tells his parents to keep the $$$ flowing.

Nick letting his law license laspe is because he failed at being a real lawyer long ago. The only reason he bothered with it was so he could be an “internet lawyer” and now that’s failed too so fuck it. Until the meltdown I figured he’d pitch himself as a self-help sexual healing guru.

 

[repentance]

Nick is persona non grata in lawyer circles since he's disbarred from defending himself he needs a lawyer to defend him, fight his custody battles in court. No-one in their right mind would jeapordize their careers and getting future client just for defending a deadbeat and losing

Lawyers represent far worse clients than Nick and lose every day of the week. It's not going to jeopardise anyone's career at all because everyone is entitled to legal representation and the legal system is adversarial.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Yes. I'll get the rope if you start doing the gallows math.

Gallows math is easy. The lower the drop and the lighter the weight the longer they dance.