Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[TV's Adam West]

Alright, so it's no secret that I'm a man, but I'm coming here because I try to be a good boyfriend and this is a fairly anonymous forum and don't have to worry about potentially embarrassing my girlfriend.

When my girlfriend gets her period, it cripples her. She gets chills like it's dead of winter, she cramps violently, I mean it hits HARD. She can't move at times.

I was wondering if any of you had similar issues and remedies. We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

 

[glitterglue]

Alright, so it's no secret that I'm a man, but I'm coming here because I try to be a good boyfriend and this is a fairly anonymous forum and don't have to worry about potentially embarrassing my girlfriend.

When my girlfriend gets her period, it cripples her. She gets chills like it's dead of winter, she cramps violently, I mean it hits HARD. She can't move at times.

I was wondering if any of you had similar issues and remedies. We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

I get really painful cramps, but seldom fever. Maybe 2/10 times i get a fever. I am terrified of using birthcontrol or other hormone altering medication.

I use normal painkillers, preferably inflammatory ones. Warm baths help with the pain.

and I take a plastic bottle, fill it with warm water and press it against my belly. If I lie down i just press the bottle between my legs and belly, it helps with the pain.

Edit: People say excercise is good, but for me, moving around makes the pain worse.

 

[Red flag]

Edit: People say excercise is good, but for me, moving around makes the pain worse.

Do it regularly when not on your period and the subsequent cycles could be much less taxing. PL I guess, but I speedrun mine and get fewer cramps if I've spent the previous week doing jumpy type movements like jogging, skipping, jumping jacks, etc.

@TV's Adam West Has she been diagnosed with endo?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Alright, so it's no secret that I'm a man, but I'm coming here because I try to be a good boyfriend and this is a fairly anonymous forum and don't have to worry about potentially embarrassing my girlfriend.

When my girlfriend gets her period, it cripples her. She gets chills like it's dead of winter, she cramps violently, I mean it hits HARD. She can't move at times.

I was wondering if any of you had similar issues and remedies. We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

Stop dismissing medication out of hand. She should talk to her gynecologist (or get one, get an exam, discuss concerns with the doctor, express concerns about medication, ask a lot of questions, and give the advice a try).

 

[Thé au lait]

Alright, so it's no secret that I'm a man, but I'm coming here because I try to be a good boyfriend and this is a fairly anonymous forum and don't have to worry about potentially embarrassing my girlfriend.

When my girlfriend gets her period, it cripples her. She gets chills like it's dead of winter, she cramps violently, I mean it hits HARD. She can't move at times.

I was wondering if any of you had similar issues and remedies. We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

I'll break NMN for this, even if I sound like a broken record:

First, if she hasn't seen a gynecologist about this then find one. This may be a sign of a medical issue, and endo is extremely common.

Second, if you live in the Midwest then you should have easy access to motherwort as a weed in your garden. Find a recipe to use this for medicine, it will help greatly.

 

[fitty tucker]

Stop dismissing medication out of hand. She should talk to her gynecologist (or get one, get an exam, discuss concerns with the doctor, express concerns about medication, ask a lot of questions, and give the advice a try).

Also want to point out that medication is safer and better regulated than supplements are, with a better understood side effect profile.

Echoing what people are saying for her to see a gyno.

Something that's surprisingly helped me with cramps was learning to stretch some of my pelvic muscles using a Theracane. I found a bunch of trigger points that when I released them, felt a lot like period cramps. (I did this mid-cycle when I wasn't having cramps.)

Trigger points really really hurt when you first work them out, but after that initial pain, you feel a lot better.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I thank all of you for your help and kindness. She's really shy about wanting to go anywhere and ask about this (we're a younger couple, and she already has anxiety issues. ) I'll talk to her about it, so I really appreciate it. I'll fuck out of the girls room, now.

 

[Fräulein Troonjak]

Why no gf?

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Also want to point out that medication is safer and better regulated than supplements are, with a better understood side effect profile.

Absolutely. And for general info to others, bcp has far, far lower levels of hormones than it did 30 or 60 years ago, so when researching or looking for negatives, make sure the research is relevant.

Two starting points (not historical comparisons, but about options today:
Mayo
NIH

Also going to say that bcp can be easily found (and unlike in the past, covered by insurance) in extended formulations so you get quarterly periods rather than monthly - potentially a good option for those with severe pms/period pain. A doc can also prescribe it to be used on a continuous basis (no periods), plus there's norplant and similar.

Never had intolerable periods (though I have a high pain/discomfort tolerance so who knows), but quarterly formulations were awesome.

Echoing what people are saying for her to see a gyno.

I know that current day recommendations are starting later and going less frequently than when I was in my early 20s, but I maintain every woman should at least have a gyno and see them/get a pap as recommended once she's 18 (I think it's 21 now but whatever) and/or sexually active. But beyond the testing aspects, having a doc to ask questions is really important, especially when young/sexually active.

/mom out

Something that's surprisingly helped me with cramps was learning to stretch some of my pelvic muscles using a Theracane.

I have never seen one of these. I want one for my back - I've had knots on one trapezius an inch or two from my spine for decades, and it pulls other stuff out of whack in my neck and shoulder as I compensate away from the tightness/pain. I used to get regular 90 minute deep tissue and shiatsu massages (every single masseur/euse flipped out over how tight they were), and though it's much less a bother now than it used to be, it still gets annoying, and that thing looks better than trying to use the edge of a wall like some human cat or bear.

I found a bunch of trigger points that when I released them, felt a lot like period cramps. (I did this mid-cycle when I wasn't having cramps.)

Trigger points really really hurt when you first work them out, but after that initial pain, you feel a lot better.

@TV's Adam West tagging you in for the links. Please don't be nervous or anxious or shy (and encourage her not to be, too - please - she (you both) need to take care of your bodies and health!). Docs literally talk to people about these things all day, everyday. And there's nothing bad or "unmentionable" about what she's going through.

I'd recommend tracking symptoms for a month or whatever before seeing a doc and assigning level of discomfort or how much it interferes with daily life (and including sex life, if any impact) day-to-day. It sucks when you get in to an appointment and forget or wind up downplaying a real concern or how inconvenient it is.

 

[The Stranger]

Why no gf?

Well apparently you're so autistic and insufferable you got kicked off the sharty's janny team

https://archive.ph/mqwou

 

[Thé au lait]

I thank all of you for your help and kindness. She's really shy about wanting to go anywhere and ask about this (we're a younger couple, and she already has anxiety issues. ) I'll talk to her about it, so I really appreciate it. I'll fuck out of the girls room, now.

If you have any more questions feel free to come back, this thread was originally started for guys looking for women's opinions/perspectives but I think it's good to have it here for guys who want to know how to help their girlfriends better. It's always sweet to see.

Sappy bit aside, here's praying it's not endo.

 

[TV's Adam West]

We're both a relatively young couple as I said and I worry about her. We actually just did 3 years on Halloween, and everytime her period starts, it's upsetting because she's in a lot of pain. I'll do the good stuff like rub her belly and give her some numbing cream, make sure she doesn't have to do any manual labor, but I still worry is all. I've shown her this thread and all of your comments and we're talking about if we can afford to see a gyn, then taking it by ear.

 

[Thé au lait]

We're both a relatively young couple as I said and I worry about her. We actually just did 3 years on Halloween, and everytime her period starts, it's upsetting because she's in a lot of pain. I'll do the good stuff like rub her belly and give her some numbing cream, make sure she doesn't have to do any manual labor, but I still worry is all. I've shown her this thread and all of your comments and we're talking about if we can afford to see a gyn, then taking it by ear.

Okay so there's a few extra things that she's probably already aware of but you've said she's embarrassed to talk about it so I'm telling you these because they're good for you to know as well (I'm assuming you're doing the cooking):

Don't give her cold drinks, those will make the cramps worse. The gold standard is warm or hot water. Always make sure there's hot water ready for her. Obviously you don't want to give her water hot enough to burn her mouth, but something a little higher than body temp is good.

Hot baths. If she's grossed out by it then by all means don't, but I can personally say they make me feel better. Get one ready for her after her shower so she can soak.

Certain foods can make things worse, especially ones that make your body hotter (alcohol, fried foods, capsaicin, red meat, any stimulants, and if you ask some people then microwaved foods as well). If you are indeed the one cooking, don't make any of these. If you need to check if something will make her hotter, I've seen "yeet hay" used to describe this in English.

Likewise, certain foods will make it less painful. Be sure you're making plenty of cabbage and broccoli, these will help manage her blood estrogen levels which should make everything less intense. Boiled foods, especially soups, are a good safe ground. I also recommend keeping her vitamin C up, since low vitamin C can cause even more cramps.
Cabbage and beet soup with vermicelli is my personal favorite for this.

Congratulations on the anniversary, I hope you two have many more happy years together!

 

[fitty tucker]

I have never seen one of these. I want one for my back - I've had knots on one trapezius an inch or two from my spine for decades, and it pulls other stuff out of whack in my neck and shoulder as I compensate away from the tightness/pain

It's gonna change your life! Seriously. There's only so much a human can do with those super thick spinal muscles. Pelvic muscles too. I have SI joint pain and thought I needed a special tool to help with that ligament, turns out I just need to figure out the right way to sit while I dig a theracane into my lower abdomen.

I've shown her this thread and all of your comments and we're talking about if we can afford to see a gyn, then taking it by ear

It honestly helps to have someone there with you for the gyn. Imagine you had to go see a doctor and you had to take off your pants, sit in stirrups, and have a stranger shove a qtip up your urethra to get a pap smear sample. It would be nice to have someone else there to break the tension, lol

 

[isalaide]

We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

It helps a lot of people. When she sees the gyn, encourage and support her to consider medication options.

You said you were younger. If she's frightened of parents or similar discovering she's on the pill, a lot of the 'good' (pain minimising etc) effects of the combined pill are also available via the hormonal IUD.

And parents are not accidentally finding one of those in the old uterus.

But do try to support her to get her seen. Most of them time it's not endo. But you want to know if it's endo, and you want to start looking at treatment options. She can't have a life of crippling pain every month.

 

[crazedaze]

I have SI joint pain and thought I needed a special tool to help with that ligament, turns out I just need to figure out the right way to sit while I dig a theracane into my lower abdomen.

have you tried the cerola belt? Or si belt, really its good stuff for me

 

[The Stranger]

If she's frightened of parents or similar discovering she's on the pill

Is this something parents get upset over or is it just sort of embarrassing for some women? If I had a daughter I couldn't imagine myself giving a single fuck if she was in a relationship and using birth control, that just seems wild to me.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Alright, so it's no secret that I'm a man, but I'm coming here because I try to be a good boyfriend and this is a fairly anonymous forum and don't have to worry about potentially embarrassing my girlfriend.

When my girlfriend gets her period, it cripples her. She gets chills like it's dead of winter, she cramps violently, I mean it hits HARD. She can't move at times.

I was wondering if any of you had similar issues and remedies. We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

Even though others have answered, I'll throw in my .02 as well, slight PL.

Spoiler: Aunt Flo

I used to get cramps so bad I would have uncontrollable teeth-chattering and had to miss school or work. I would also get bad brain fog for the first two days, hot flashes, painful bloating that kept me from standing up straight, and insomnia. I never saw a gyno about it and have never been on hormonal birth control. I wouldn't rule out seeing a gyno in case she does have an actual medical issue, but be aware they will likely try to push hormonal birth control on her as a band-aid fix and that could very well make things worse. I, personally, am very against hormonal birth control for long-term use, in full disclosure. The following helped me a lot; all except for the brain fog have been reduced by 90%:

• Tracking menstruation so I knew when Aunt Flo was coming to town and could prepare with painkillers and canceled plans accordingly
• Generally eating a well-rounded diet and avoiding lots of alcohol or sugar, making an effort to include iron-rich foods in the diet (iron supplements are of dubious efficacy)
• Drinking a lot of water, ESPECIALLY during menstruation, and avoiding non-water liquids
• Eating more carbs during the luteal phase, since during this period it is difficult for the female body to access stored calories and it is gearing up for the next menstruation
• Getting 8 - 9 hours of sleep per night (women need more sleep than men), aiming for 10+ hours during menstruation
• Using a menstrual cup and not tampons or pads (if your lady isn't comfortable with a cup, pads are preferable to tampons)
• Regular exercise at all times, cramming it in a few days before menstruation doesn't work, it needs time to contribute to hormone regulation
• Light exercise during menstruation and nothing high-impact or high-intensity
• The instant cramps start, pop 2 or 3 ibuprofen and apply heat. Heat can come in the form of a hot shower, an electric heat pad, or a microwavable plushie. Not only does heat relax the uterine muscles, but it expands blood vessels and part of why cramping hurts is oxygen being cut off from some tissues during cramps. I think it muffles pain receptors as well but can't 100% recall.
• Do things that distract the mind, don't sit on the couch and wallow in how uncomfortable you are.
• Reducing sodium intake during menstruation
• Just gotta deal with the brain fog, it's due to the fluctuations in hormones, neurotransmitters, and insulin during menstruation and can't be helped much.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Alright, so it's no secret that I'm a man, but I'm coming here because I try to be a good boyfriend and this is a fairly anonymous forum and don't have to worry about potentially embarrassing my girlfriend.

When my girlfriend gets her period, it cripples her. She gets chills like it's dead of winter, she cramps violently, I mean it hits HARD. She can't move at times.

I was wondering if any of you had similar issues and remedies. We heard birth control could help, but she's terrified, so we're trying to avoid medication.

Girlfriend used to get these kind of periods, the first two days usually killed her. Used to be she started popping ibuprofen like candy two to three days before her period started and then needed to lay in bed with a hot water bottle practically glued to her stomach all day.
For around the last half year now she switched up her nutrition, only eating clean (so no processed foods, high amount of veg and daily deficit of at least 200kcal) and started to supplement with fish oil, iron and magnesium and her crippling period cramps and the almost suicidal depression that accompanied her menses is virtually gone. She swears it's the fish oil but we haven't looked into it deeper. She also stopped smoking tobacco and switched to vaping for a couple of months now, maybe that also plays a role. The difference is really night and day.

Edit: Just to add, she's not on birth control (never was, i think) or takes any other medication.

in extended formulations so you get quarterly periods rather than monthly

I had an ex girlfriend who was on something like that and i always wondered if it really can be healthy to radically alter the process of the female cycle like that.

 

[Meursault's gun]

I wouldn't rule out seeing a gyno in case she does have an actual medical issue, but be aware they will likely try to push hormonal birth control on her as a band-aid fix and that could very well make things worse.

Please don't hide this under a spoiler because the recommendations for birth control are bordering on being malicious. You are not supposed to have crippling pains when you are on your period. Pushing pills and so on is just another way that women's medical issues get dismissed without fixing the root cause. Shit like this can have serious consequences.

@TV's Adam West if she does see a gyno and they immediately suggest birth control, please encourage her to get a second or third opinion. As many as it takes to find one that takes her seriously. If she is generally anxious about such things, chances are that she could easily be pressured into the common gyno tactic of just masking the issue with birth control, rather than treating it.