Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

Hubelublub said:
Men appear to wait until she leaves and it's over to start the recriminations. As far as I can tell, they have to be smacked on the head to clue in that someone's doing something wrong.

The end effect is that women adjust within the relationship, whereas men adjust without the relationship.

This also explains why women date a man hoping he will change and he doesn't, and men date a woman hoping she won't change and she does.
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All i can say is "certainly rings true" again. You should claim a honorary doctorate in moid studies, seriously.
 
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Rekeita's Kidneys said:
It's literally just paying someone to experience something normal people experience. Instead of fucking it's just talking.
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If you think therapy is just talking then you have either never actually been to therapy or you've had a shit therapist, or multiple.

The Feline Solution said:
Oh, i got an actual on-topic question for this thread for once: Is this a thing that women generally do? I think i never asked one about this particular thing before but i know tons of males, me included, who at one point in their life jumped straight to the "Man, it's all my fault" conclusion when things didn't work out with a girl.
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Yes, although of course it varies by person. Friend of mine found out her husband was cheating on her with her male coworker, and he left her for the dude. Afterwards, she told me about a lot of awful shit he'd been doing and saying to her that she had convinced herself she deserved. Sure she's not a flawless person but she's not to blame for him being a closeted faggot, and for a year I had to constantly stop her from blaming herself for her husband leaving her for a man.

soda pimp said:
What kind of cheap makeup should I buy to play with? I've never used makeup before and I want to get into using it. I want to cover my pimples for an interview.
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Are you just looking at concealer and foundation? Are you a woman also looking into eye and lip products?
 
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Rekeita's Kidneys said:
Well, someone telling me over and over again "hmm yeah okay, yup okay huh, yeah" might work for someone feeble minded who wants a yesman for everything. But in my personal experience it seems to only provide benefit for simpletons.
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If that's what you're getting out of therapy, you're not getting the right kind. You do realize there's more than the bog standard cognitive behavioral stuff, yeah? What might work for one person might not work for you.
 
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Big Miss Steak said:
Are you just looking at concealer and foundation? Are you a woman also looking into eye and lip products?
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Yeah I am a woman and am specifically looking for concealer, eye and lip products. I have pale skin so it's hard to find lip stuff. But cheap stuff to mess around with since I'm new to makeup.
 
Spooky all year said:
You do realize there's more than the bog standard cognitive behavioral stuff, yeah?
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What he's describing isn't CBT, though. He's describing talk therapy.

CBT is extremely helpful, such as in recognizing the harmful thought patterns that are cognitive distortions:

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You can find many of these errors in his posts. If he had actually attended CBT for any length of time, he'd know this.

TLDR- the purpose of identifying cognitive distortions is so that you can learn to curb that behavior. If you repeatedly tell yourself life is shit then of course it's going to be shit. You're buying your own bullshit and you need to learn to call yourself on it, especially if you've convinced yourself that no therapy will ever help.
 
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soda pimp said:
What kind of cheap makeup should I buy to play with? I've never used makeup before and I want to get into using it. I want to cover my pimples for an interview.
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To be frank, if you are still learning and going to use cheap make up, I strongly advise NOT wearing it to the interview. It will be obvious and may look unkept/unprofessional.

Pimple cover ups can be difficult to get right and not look obvious, even if you do know what you are doing.

I'd also be cautious about infection with cheap make up, or irritating the pimple with product.
 
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soda pimp said:
What kind of cheap makeup should I buy to play with? I've never used makeup before and I want to get into using it. I want to cover my pimples for an interview.
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You could consider going to a professional for your makeup before your interview. It'll also give you a chance to see what choices the makeup artist uses, some good brands, and you can probably grab some tips from her for the future.
 
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Don't skimp on your base facial product - foundation, tinted moisturiser - if you are determined to wear it to interview. Shittier cheaper stuff normally has a worse formula, which makes it look drier and more difficult to blend. Your base is worth spending decent money on. Be very very careful about a colour match.
 
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suspended animation said:
What he's describing isn't CBT, though. He's describing talk therapy.

CBT is extremely helpful, such as in recognizing the harmful thought patterns that are cognitive distortions:

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You're right. Thanks for the correction, I appreciate it. Where I live CBD is the go to standard at the start of any psych treatments. They only talk to you for the intake. I think it's mostly the private psychiatrists here that do the talking therapy, so I just went with the frame of reference that I've got from over here.

My main point was that there are a lot of different therapies that can be tried though. And talking clearly isn't working out for the original poster, but other stuff (like CBD) might, if he wants to put in the work. But that last bit is the most important- if OP doesn't want to put in the work any form of therapy is moot.
 
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Spooky all year said:
You're right. Thanks for the correction, I appreciate it. Where I live CBD is the go to standard at the start of any psych treatments. They only talk to you for the intake. I think it's mostly the private psychiatrists here that do the talking therapy, so I just went with the frame of reference that I've got from over here.

My main point was that there are a lot of different therapies that can be tried though. And talking clearly isn't working out for the original poster, but other stuff (like CBD) might, if he wants to put in the work. But that last bit is the most important- if OP doesn't want to put in the work any form of therapy is moot.
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I suppose I ranted a bit too much and provoked some wrath on here...

I'm willing to try therapy but the problem is I've been to literally 8+ different therapists throughout the years and it really hasn't done anything that just self reflection and other bullshit has helped.

I have a terrible way with words but I am glad at least someone here got what I was saying LMAO.

I'd be willing to try out other forms of therapy other than CBT because it just feels... Too basic, I'm aware of my thoughts, thought processes and the concept of "theory of mind". What I really want I guess is solutions rather than just coping with shit. That and legitimately just someone to talk to about bullshit without it devolving into retarded bullshit like with my family and few people I know. (I probably just need friends)

Man's search for meaning is a great fucking book also, solid suggestion btw
 
isalaide said:
Don't skimp on your base facial product - foundation, tinted moisturiser - if you are determined to wear it to interview. Shittier cheaper stuff normally has a worse formula, which makes it look drier and more difficult to blend. Your base is worth spending decent money on. Be very very careful about a colour match.
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Also, blend blend blend, and when you're done, blend some more. If you have a really light complexion, use foundation as bronzer since your bronzer options will probably all be too dark.
 
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Hubelublub said:
This is KiwiFarms. If you don't get neg rated at least semi-regularly, you're not posting enough.


I disagree.


Good luck finding people to lean on without being a pillar to give them that support back.
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I don't want "a pillar to lean on", I legitimately just want people I can talk to about shit more serious beyond fucking video games or petty stuff. I'm intellectually blueballed as fuck with the people I'm around, for lack of a better phrase.

And yeah, I was kinda expecting some negative feedback, this isn't reddit, I don't want a hugbox
 
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
(I probably just need friends)
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Pretty much, my nigga. You are right in the fact that therapy does not replace the need for authentic connections. However, the women are right in saying that how negatively you present yourself will have a negative effect on whomever you try to befriend. If you can't escape from an issue then you have to reframe it so that it is possible to live with it. There is no way around that whatsoever, and dwelling on things being inescapable will make you a slog to be around. Friendship cannot and will not give you the sort of strength that you need to go through life. It's a nice thing, but you have to know how to depend on yourself first and foremost.
 
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Rekeita's Kidneys said:
Wdym?
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It's obvious from my post.

The overall issue here is that you want someone to come in and fix your shit. Only you can do that, but you need someone else to help you figure out how. If you don't have friends who are willing to help you (which is itself a sign), you'll have to pay someone for it, and be willing to listen to them and take it on board, instead of constantly putting up walls around yourself and then whining about being boxed in.
 
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