How do you fight depression? - Let's help each other

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Motorbikes are awesome, but people need to know just easy it is to have an irreversible life-changing injury on them. Bikes are kickass, but they are serious fucking business, It can be big risk, not like taking up Tennis or something. But if u want to do it, do it, just know wat ur getting urself into.

Lawyers, surgeons and dentists hate them with a passion for a reason. My parents met in such a club in their youth and still drive, and it's a miracle neither have been in accidents. One of their friends got pushed into a knee-height barrier by a car which literally just sawed his leg off with the missus on the back.

So many other ways to just, up and do something new but more rational. Join a tennis club, go running, local whatever Christian knitting club every sunday. It's having the balls to "stoop" to signing up for such shit that is hard, even for boomers who grew up having to do so. Ive a coworker who does shit non fucking stop of the "lesbian aunt" variety. Dancing, choir, marathons. She randomly asked a coworker "hey come try salsa" and he did and now he got two dancing partners of different levels. Just like that.

I'm not sure I'm depressed, more-so just jaded and directionless. My semi-alcoholism stems from having gotten drunk and played TF2 every friday with friends, and eventually I got into 6v6 which gave me "real" purpose in my gaming, later ruined by said alcohol but yknow. I miss belonging and putting in effort but I've no concrete passions to put it into. Watched some prison show on Netflix and all the addicts said they replaced drugs with helping others and such. Wouldn't have to booz if I had shit to get up for.

 

[Lokenstien]

As a recommendation for those not so psychical inclined so that "go to the gym" feels unavailable: I recommend creativity of some kind. I truly believe that the depressed individual has a tap into a world of unimaginable darkness that the art borne of such despair is insurmountable for the average artist. It's important to remember that not every medium is for everyone. I can't draw anything worthwhile in pencil but I can do stippling well enough that it looks like something presentable. You don't need to be jacked to find something akin to peace in such a depressing world and art of any kind can be one of the keys to such an escape.

 

[valerian]

I have a very specific issue regarding my depression, which is that I dont lack the motivation or the want to do things but rather I lack the strength to go through with them, if this makes sense? While im doing them I dont feel any type of joy or fun with it, even if im actually heavily interested in the thing itself.

I have a lot of hobbies and interests but once it comes to engaging with them, it feels like a huge chore that I cant keep up for very long. Its difficult to even get started with them, lets say for example I want to play a certain videogame.. should be easy enough to start it right? Just click on it and get into the game, but I often cant convince myself to do it. It feels like im locking myself into a huge chore as soon as I start it. Its not that difficult to get around though, I just have to ignore the strain and shut my mind off while I do the "physical motions" to get started.

But then when im in the game, and I play for a bit.. I realise after a while that im just tired of it now and I want to stop. I didnt have much fun while I was playing either, so after an hour or two I just give up. Its weird since youd assume if I dont have fun for it then its not the thing for me, but I can still feel myself being very interested in it and Wanting to play. How do I get around this? Its frustrating caring about so many things but not being really able to do anything with them because I have this invisible wall in front of me. Im especially frustrated over my art, ive been drawing since I was a kid but Im only able to churn out 2 or 3 pieces a month if even. I know I could draw much more and do much cooler shit if I just sat down and did it, but somehow I cant.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I have a very specific issue regarding my depression, which is that I dont lack the motivation or the want to do things but rather I lack the strength to go through with them, if this makes sense? While im doing them I dont feel any type of joy or fun with it, even if im actually heavily interested in the thing itself.

I have a lot of hobbies and interests but once it comes to engaging with them, it feels like a huge chore that I cant keep up for very long. Its difficult to even get started with them, lets say for example I want to play a certain videogame.. should be easy enough to start it right? Just click on it and get into the game, but I often cant convince myself to do it. It feels like im locking myself into a huge chore as soon as I start it. Its not that difficult to get around though, I just have to ignore the strain and shut my mind off while I do the "physical motions" to get started.

I can hype myself up for a game while at work until I get home and watch even 3 seconds of footage. Farm Sim 25; huge quality of life changes. Fresh start, no 500 DLCs. Then I watch 5 seconds and go "holy shit this is so dull looking". Then I got the weekend off and I wake up and I'm in a completely different mindset. "I'd totally sink 50 hours into that and properly learn it". It's as if I need a different playlist for after work and days off, but in both contexts I want a game I can invest into. What good is an easy day at work if I don't come home and got 6 hours to practice a rewarding game?

That's why RTS and fighting games appeal to me so, but then I look up Twitch and see Tekken 8 being at 1.2k viewers with fucking.. Literally anything else from the last 5 years above it. Why invest into a genre for niche losers? Shit network, hackers, a requirement to be on Discord to get a match going. Compare that to a generic boring comfort builder and there goes the motivation I had and I revert to a cycle of mundanity.

On some level I just think it's being an adult. I can't imagine what kind of life situation would promote actively engaging and pursuing shit. Having a partner, happiness? Unlikely you'd then decide to join the local boxing club, rather than meeting someone from the club and being dragged into it. I've a few times experienced that situation, being "forced" into a hobby group and it was amazing- until people dropped out and I realized it wasn't the medium itself I enjoyed but the company, and I don't wanna be the dude who sinks 900 hours into DotA cause friends enjoy it. I've had enough extortion of that kind in my life.

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

Get a good partner or 3 in your life and he honest with all of them about it.
Seriously.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Ok, after especially shitty year I will add my two cents.

• Creatine in low doses. Doesn't stop it entirely, but numbs it for certain.
• Glycine helps to lower pressure onto your brain and get more effective sleep.
• It is beaten to death but VITAMINE D. Low levels can fuck you up, especially when the autumn and winter hit.
• Gratitude practice. Try to thank the world or God for good things in your day. If your day was shit then thank that it wasn't worse. Sounds dumb, but just try it and you'll see the effect in a month.
• Mindfulness. Don't be slave to your emotions, but don't ignore them. Try to find out why you feel that way and when it is coming from.
• Do not disconnect from your past, try to be whole. If you have some traumatic memories, console yourself and try to understand.
• Surprisingly, cardio helps to clean your brain, especially if you had bad sleep.
• Don't be ashamed to have a nap during the day. 10 minutes of sleep are better than any amount of caffeine.

 

[Equivocal_Iki]

I feel like depression is just a bad philosophy that festers. I will be writing treatises in my head on how society works and why I need to remove myself whenever I can't distract myself.

Anyone else think like that? "The type of person who would ever allow themselves to end up like this was never a good person to begin with". "There are so many great people out there, but not everyone gets to be a good person". "To ever have had this mentality at any point in your life already puts you below most everyone".

 

[I'm Retarded?]

Gratitude practice. Try to thank the world or God for good things in your day. If your day was shit then thank that it wasn't worse. Sounds dumb, but just try it and you'll see the effect in a month.

seconding this. so much of dealing with depression is just retraining yourself to be reflexively positive rather than negative. and like anything else, retraining your mindset requires constant, small, daily efforts. even if you don't actually believe in God, just practicing thankfulness is like training a superpower against any depressive spiraling that traps you in a negative mindset. it's not a magic fix-all, but do not underestimate its power.

 

[Dawdler]

Avoid depressed people (work), depressed environments (also work), depressing food (for some reason also work).
Shut off tv, delete social apps on phone and don't visit news sites.
The rest is entirely chemical, cook your own food, find what your body likes. spice it up with vitamins and minerals (D and Mg). Modern diet is poor since everything was replaced with salt and sugar.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

With fire. Go make one, maybe cook something on it and just hang out.

 

[Hassou Tobi]

Exercise is very important for my mood. It’s definitely not a 100% cure but makes the lows less low.

 

[Equivocal_Iki]

• Don't be ashamed to have a nap during the day. 10 minutes of sleep are better than any amount of caffeine.

If you are extremely sleep-deprived to the point you get hypnagogic imagery and thoughts (the nonsense you think up right before you fall asleep) when you close your eyes, I think it's called a "power nap". Basically lay down and let whatever happens for 10-20 minutes and you'll be refreshed. Way better than trying to stay up. Though that's a good indication that you need to actually sleep properly when you can.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I forgot one thing. Check for CPTSD, even if you had an ok childhood, since victims of it are usually in denial. It is way more common than you think and often gets misdiagnosed as ADHD or autistic spectrum disorder. And depression or bipolar of course. It can also be caused by a plethora of other things.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

If you are extremely sleep-deprived to the point you get hypnagogic imagery and thoughts (the nonsense you think up right before you fall asleep) when you close your eyes, I think it's called a "power nap". Basically lay down and let whatever happens for 10-20 minutes and you'll be refreshed. Way better than trying to stay up. Though that's a good indication that you need to actually sleep properly when you can.

There's also a well-documented version where you chug coffee before napping. Forgot why but has to do with the way caffeine masks tiredness.

Either way, you know what's even easier and less gimmicky and 500% healthier? Don't bring your phone into the bedroom, don't stare at bright screens an hour prior, don't drink water 2 hours prior. Make it a habit to just lay down and think about nothing with the intent to sleep. Can't sleep several days in a row? Go to bed later. Build up sleep debt.

Watched a 3-parter aussie sleep study show and people who were literally defined as having amnesia ended up fixing this over ~14 days. If they laid down for 8 hours and slept 4, he'd make them lay down only for those 4 until they slept those 4, then padded out time on each side. Even just sleeping on their side instead of their back reduced apnea occurrences from 250 an hour to 60, technically "cured".

People just need to challenge themselves and build good habits.

 

[Equivocal_Iki]

don't drink water 2 hours prior.

I've had so many times where I'm just about to fall asleep but need to use the bathroom and just getting up to take a piss energized me enough to ruin all my chances of sleeping that night.

I wouldn't chug coffee before power napping. I'd take caffeine after the power nap and I feel that's the way to do it. I feel like that'd be more effective and refreshing unless you're at risk of actually falling into deep sleep. But yes, caffeine stops you from being able to feel tired (as opposed to other stimulants which make you more awake). It seems like the study (haven't looked at it) was about taking a power nap right after consuming caffeine and waking up when the caffeine kicks in.

Watched a 3-parter aussie sleep study show and people who were literally defined as having amnesia ended up fixing this over ~14 days.

Sleep deprivation is wild. Had a bad stint with alcohol so wasn't getting good sleep ever and after a month I was hearing music out of speakers that weren't playing anything (my guess was waking hypnagogic hallucinations). Short-term memory was fucked. Literally just sleeping more (and better) fixed everything.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

I've relapsed a lot on sleeping and watch TV before bed, even now when I'm like legit 'can't stay awake' tired. I fast 18 hours a day on average, break a few at no cost of results according to science, but sleep is still such a big issue for me. I use my phone for an alarm and I don't pick it up at night, so I got the willpower, but if there's a series I wanna watch, I do that in bed. Even then I sleep rather well, only to meet in and watch coworkers be absolutely fucked, even now when one of them escaped a bad relationship and should be in a better place. Nope; energy drinks out the ass. Really underlines how much lifestyle can impact you.

Sleep deprivation is wild. Had a bad stint with alcohol so wasn't getting good sleep ever and after a month I was hearing music out of speakers that weren't playing anything (my guess was waking hypnagogic hallucinations). Short-term memory was fucked. Literally just sleeping more (and better) fixed everything.

I've given up on preaching about it at work. We meet at 6:30AM; people have already had breakfast and coffee. Then they have another coffee at 9, and more food. Then lunch at 11:30, more food and coffee. Then they show up the next day acting all tired and sore, unable to sleep. And while it may not be the coffee itself its the accumulation of (literal) boomer lifestyle trends.

I watched a more grounded and low-funds fasting documentary and it was literally just some asian doctor in canada being like "this sounds like horseshit, why would fasting fix so many issues". Then he went to a scientific presentation and started shilling it to his pensioner patients and lo behold, they all fixed their blood pressure, cholesterol and all. One chick fixed inflamed brain something or other with 2x40 day water fasting at a retreat. One guy couldn't do sports cause his heart beat too fast and womp womp, now he could do ironmans.

 

[Equivocal_Iki]

I've given up on preaching about it at work. We meet at 6:30AM; people have already had breakfast and coffee. Then they have another coffee at 9, and more food. Then lunch at 11:30, more food and coffee. Then they show up the next day acting all tired and sore, unable to sleep. And while it may not be the coffee itself its the accumulation of (literal) boomer lifestyle trends.

I watched a more grounded and low-funds fasting documentary and it was literally just some asian doctor in canada being like "this sounds like horseshit, why would fasting fix so many issues". Then he went to a scientific presentation and started shilling it to his pensioner patients and lo behold, they all fixed their blood pressure, cholesterol and all. One chick fixed inflamed brain something or other with 2x40 day water fasting at a retreat. One guy couldn't do sports cause his heart beat too fast and womp womp, now he could do ironmans.

I crave carbs while tired but the moment I eat anything carby I go from being ready for bed to being wide awake for 2 more hours. It's a vicious cycle. I'd believe it but understand that willpower is hard. (I am on your side with the fasting stuff I've seen all the What I've Learned videos)

It is all about timing and trade-offs. Like I want to be awake and good for the last two hours of work but if I consume anything I'm not going to be tired enough for bed by the time I get home.

I've relapsed a lot on sleeping and watch TV before bed, even now when I'm like legit 'can't stay awake' tired.

Maybe it's just a white noise thing but I hate how I'm practically nodding out while trying to stay up then decide to actually go to bed and for some reason it's hard when I actually try to fall asleep.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Maybe it's just a white noise thing but I hate how I'm practically nodding out while trying to stay up then decide to actually go to bed and for some reason it's hard when I actually try to fall asleep.

Every "expert at sleep AMA" post on leddit has boiled down to the same few pointers: Leave the phone out of your bedroom, lay down ONLY to sleep and do not get up again, and going in with an empty mind is the best way to sleep. The best sleeps I've had were in deep, deep depression when I was so bummed out I literally didn't think of anything cause nothing was worth thinking about.

Even if you don't intend on learning anything, it's a good watch: https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/tv-series/australias-sleep-revolution-with-dr-michael-mosley
The majority of cases were fixed by causing sleep debt followed by gradual time allotment. Lay down 8 hours, sleep 4? Now you lay down 4, and until you sleep 4, that's all you get. People were forced to sit up til 3AM before going to bed, up for work at 7 the next day. Within 10 days they all got into normal and immediate 7-8 hour sleep rotations. One obese dude went from 250 apnea cases an hour to under 80 simply from laying on his side. The one nurse that didn't seem to make sense as to why she hadn't slep for 2 decades turned out to be on her phone all night, so big surprise.

I went to bed at 7-8 and watched 90 minutes of TV before sleeping. Blasting my eyes with my television for a few hours before trying to sleep. Then I started sitting up til 9:30pm before going directly to bed and it was an actual challenge. I naturally got bored at 8pm hence the bedtime, but now I had to find shit to do for 90 minutes. That's when the smart person would turn off their PC and read a book (also not to be done in bed), but I installed an orange filter that turns so fucking dark orange I can barely see my monitor by the time I have to go to bed, so I kinda nudge myself into bed by then.

Stop eating 4 hours before bed, drinking 1-2 hours before bed, screens 1 hour before bed, don't bring your phone. Those goals alone will improve the lives of millions of people but they're adults who don't have to do anything challenging or sour in their lives, so they just.. don't. The reason time moves fast for adults is because we stop challenging ourselves. This bakery company recently made a bunch of commercials talking about their "coarse, brown bread products", and the tagline was simply "Because some people prefer rough things in life". That's it. Shit gets too comfortable and those seeking betterment don't like settling. Try quitting coffee, cause why not? Not one of the worse substances to abuse but.. why not?

 

[Equivocal_Iki]

I guess it's because I work night shift. I take melatonin daily (I'm sure you have something to say about that, but before that I couldn't fall asleep until like 3 hours before I had to wake up no matter what, now I sleep at a normal time for my job. You kindof just have to use supplements to hold unnatural sleep hours). Sometimes I use DPH (25mg) but want to avoid that.

I did try OMAD for a month, but was just obsessed with food at all times. Kindof made me love cooking because I'd just spend all day planning out the grand meal I was going to make, and damn it was so satisfying to cook and eat. Lost several pounds and kept the weight off even after stopping. Still with keto the feeling is more a constant "I would like to eat something right now" rather than "I need to eat something or I'm going to die I'm starving".

Stop eating 4 hours before bed, drinking 1-2 hours before bed, screens 1 hour before bed, don't bring your phone.

Gonna try it out. I do have some books I've been meaning to read, and a reading chair. It's funny how addiction works I decided to try cutting my internet for 2 hours each day and the moment it got cut out, me, surrounded with all the anime in the world saved to his PC, went "wth do I do now?".

BTW is it normal to get heart palpitations after eating or does my heart just suck?

(Also just wanted to note I don't bring my phone to bed and don't like using my phone in general so it really is the lead up to bed that's screwing me. Once in bed it's just me and my pillow and all the bad memories from the entirety of my life. I think you mentioned being depressed and I did find that just accepting you're a terrible person and you're going to make the same mistakes again regardless because you're a terrible person and that's just who you are and anything bad that happens you deserve it, really helped calm me enough to fall asleep.)

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Started doing physical excercises and working out with hand weights I bought.
Still feels bad man but at least I have something else to do except doing wagie 9-5, doing chores, which take my mind off blightful thoughts too unlike procrastinating/jerking off