The Stop Drinking (or using other substances) thread - Hello, my name is "kiwi farmer", and I am an alcoholic.

[Fapcop]

I know it will stop alcohol from hurting my health, but I'm mourning it. I like camping and drinking beer, I like making cocktails with my friends, I like celebrating big occasions with champagne with my family.

Oh…

That weird feeling when you recognize someone from another thread and it’s kind of awkward.

Like meeting your priest at an AA meeting, is standing behind your boss in the supermarket.

Anyways, there’s always alcohol free bears? And cocktails? Not entirely the same but kinda there?

I like the taste of beer but don’t drink so I pop an alcohol free once in a while.

Anyways, you really don’t want to mess around with alcohol in your case. I’ve seen some amazing people get serious mental illness, and after they’re put on the heavy duty psychotics, it’s just… lights out. Like there’s no spark in the eyes. It’s like looking at a facsimile of an awesome human being you knew.

As someone who also missed out on fun and partying through a good part of my “formative years”… In a decade, you’re not going to feel like you missed out.

Getting plastered is fun when you’re 18, but I guarantee you nobody gets to 30 and goes: “Fuck… I really wish I got more hammered when I was 24. If only I had woken up more times with a raging hangover in a strangers bedroom, swallowing my shame and regret over bad sex and awkwardly stumbled out, I would have been a much happier person today!”

And hey. As that gay Christian your pastor always used to say: “You don’t need to drink to have a good time!”

 

[soup peddler]

Oh…

That weird feeling when you recognize someone from another thread and it’s kind of awkward.

Like meeting your priest at an AA meeting, is standing behind your boss in the supermarket.

Anyways, there’s always alcohol free bears? And cocktails? Not entirely the same but kinda there?

I like the taste of beer but don’t drink so I pop an alcohol free once in a while.

Anyways, you really don’t want to mess around with alcohol in your case. I’ve seen some amazing people get serious mental illness, and after they’re put on the heavy duty psychotics, it’s just… lights out. Like there’s no spark in the eyes. It’s like looking at a facsimile of an awesome human being you knew.

As someone who also missed out on fun and partying through a good part of my “formative years”… In a decade, you’re not going to feel like you missed out.

Getting plastered is fun when you’re 18, but I guarantee you nobody gets to 30 and goes: “Fuck… I really wish I got more hammered when I was 24. If only I had woken up more times with a raging hangover in a strangers bedroom, swallowing my shame and regret over bad sex and awkwardly stumbled out, I would have been a much happier person today!”

And hey. As that gay Christian your pastor always used to say: “You don’t need to drink to have a good time!”

Hello Officer o7

Yeah, my boss has been sober since before I was born, and he usually gets an alcohol free one... if they make ones that taste alright I'll look into it.

I always had a lot of difficulty not getting hammered when I'd drink, so I feel kind of relieved to be done with the "oh god what did I do last night" feeling. It's just I'm going to miss the fun things like getting drunk and getting baptized in a weird religion, or getting drunk and going to a battle for middle earth LAN party, getting drunk with a bunch of board gaming Norwegians, etc. It's such an easy way to make interesting things happen? But I guess much more of the time, I'd just get drunk with friends, lose the game we were playing, and go to sleep early or something.

Like I said, I had a lot a trouble regulating how much I drank, but drinking at all was pretty infrequent, so I never really expected to ever totally quit? But what happened has just opened my eyes to a new realm of horror that's possible, so I'm not even questioning whether or not to quit. I think I'm just too scared of losing my mind to ever touch alcohol or any substance again? Although aside from alcohol, I've tried THC and mushrooms once each, and they were both this year. I guess that's what precipitated this mess. I made it through all of undergrad not touching anything, but I guess I decided that since they were legalized here, it was safe? But apparently not for me.

Antipsychotics are terrifying. Almost as terrifying as schizophrenia, but both just seem like living hell. Since what happened, I've been getting as much sleep as possible, running a lot, and eating more nutritionally... I just don't want my brain to fail. It's just so fucking scary, it's made me more risk-averse in other areas... like re: the other thread.

I expect that like you said, soon I won't miss it at all. And uh, even if I do, the alternative is bad, bad news.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I wasn't an alcoholic per se, but I was a heavy drinker who'd drink until I was wasted or blacked out basically any time I had a sip of alcohol. I haven't had anything to drink for a month after an "incident". Basically I got drunk, and the following morning I got sober, and promptly started having visual and auditory hallucinations. I also couldn't formulate sentences in my head. It was terrifying.

Basically I went to the ER and after some tests they basically advised me not to drink (or do any kind of mind-altering substance) until into my 30s (I'm 24 now) since I have a family history of psychotic illnesses including schizophrenia.

I know it will stop alcohol from hurting my health, but I'm mourning it. I like camping and drinking beer, I like making cocktails with my friends, I like celebrating big occasions with champagne with my family. Now it's gone for some of the most formative "having fun" years of my life. It's a kind of a petty concern, but it adds insult to the injury of having to worry about my brain turning into gray schizo mush.

…You were a raging alcoholic.

 

[soup peddler]

…You were a raging alcoholic.

Well ah, I'm not really informed on this, but I thought the definition was being chemically addicted, and I didn't get withdrawals or anything. But my drinking was out of control and had negative impacts. If that's the definition, then yes, I just don't know what is or isn't alcoholism I guess

 

[Doktor Grimm]

I wasn't an alcoholic per se, but I was a heavy drinker who'd drink until I was wasted or blacked out basically any time I had a sip of alcohol. I haven't had anything to drink for a month after an "incident". Basically I got drunk, and the following morning I got sober, and promptly started having visual and auditory hallucinations. I also couldn't formulate sentences in my head. It was terrifying.

Basically I went to the ER and after some tests they basically advised me not to drink (or do any kind of mind-altering substance) until into my 30s (I'm 24 now) since I have a family history of psychotic illnesses including schizophrenia.

This is crazy because I was struck by almost the exact same thing a few days ago. I woke up slightly under the weather after a night of heavy drinking, started working on some assignments, then a couple hours in started having these strange visual disturbances. I had to put down my work and take a nap once I realised that I could no longer read -- not because of my vision, but because I couldn't extract meaning from the words. It was like reading a foreign language.

Do you suffer from migraines at all? Temporary aphasia/hallucinations aren't unusual when it comes to migraines, and alcohol is a known trigger. I'm curious as to whether you were told to lay off the booze as general advice for someone at risk of schizophrenia, or if the episode was specifically indicative of something.

 

[Up3]

You can do it I know it’s hard it’s very hard quitting anything but you deserve it all of you, I’ve been an addict since 16, I’m 20 now when I didn’t have anything to smoke I’d drink if I had nothing to drink I’d ingest pills. I’m proud of being sober it’s a whole new world. I used to be so sad all the time. I just wanted to not be sad and overthink everything about my life. But life goes on even when bad things happen it’s the beauty of life.

 

[soup peddler]

This is crazy because I was struck by almost the exact same thing a few days ago. I woke up slightly under the weather after a night of heavy drinking, started working on some assignments, then a couple hours in started having these strange visual disturbances. I had to put down my work and take a nap once I realised that I could no longer read -- not because of my vision, but because I couldn't extract meaning from the words. It was like reading a foreign language.

Do you suffer from migraines at all? Temporary aphasia/hallucinations aren't unusual when it comes to migraines, and alcohol is a known trigger. I'm curious as to whether you were told to lay off the booze as general advice for someone at risk of schizophrenia, or if the episode was specifically indicative of something.

I've never had a migraine or really any kind of neurological concern, and in addition to it being general advice for someone at risk, I think in particular these were the instructions so if this happens again, it would be clear that drugs and alcohol weren't involved and something is very, very wrong.

 

[Up3]

I've never had a migraine or really any kind of neurological concern, and in addition to it being general advice for someone at risk, I think in particular these were the instructions so if this happens again, it would be clear that drugs and alcohol weren't involved and something is very, very wrong.

You should see a doctor I’m sorry you’re going through this, if it is a mental problem or physical they can help you. Substances can bring out genetic mental health conditions in some people. I hope you doing ok. I had psychosis when I stopped smoking for a while I felt like I was being watched, and just paranoid in general.

 

[OrionBalls]

Well ah, I'm not really informed on this, but I thought the definition was being chemically addicted, and I didn't get withdrawals or anything. But my drinking was out of control and had negative impacts. If that's the definition, then yes, I just don't know what is or isn't alcoholism I guess

I've met chemically addicted drunks (those of us who had physical withdrawals, or "low bottoms.") I've also met drunks who realized something may be wrong long before that point, due to the simple fact that when they started drinking, they found it difficult to stop, and had antisocial traits once they started imbibing ("high bottoms.") "The Doctor's Opinion" in the Big Book likens alcoholism to an allergy, where the user has an abnormal reaction to drinking. Really, only you know whether or not drinking was a problem for you. If it was, it might always be. When I get a new sponsee, and they aren't sure, I tell them to go try some controlled drinking. Like, go out, get a bottle or hang out with friends, and see how well you stop once you start. I never could. But, that's just me.

ETA- Only the first step in AA has anything to do with drinking, by the way. The rest of it is more of a spiritual look at yourself to figure out what the impacts of that drinking have made on your life and the lives of those around you. The alcohol isn't my problem, per se. It's the fact that I used it to cope with any and all of my feelings. It became the solution to all my problems, that were entirely of my own creation and the deep knowledge that who I am is never enough. It was my escape from sadness, exhaustion, boredom. Again though, that's only my experience. I can only share on that.

 

[Up3]

Opinion" in the Big Book likens alcoholism to an allergy, where the user has an abnormal reaction to drinking. Really, only you know whether or not drinking was a problem for you. If it was, it might always be. When I get a new sponsee, and they aren't sure, I tell them to go try some controlled drinking. Like, go out, get a bottle or hang out with friends, and see how well you stop once you start. I never could. But, that's just me.

another reason I got into substances because I’m very shy I have a hard time being vulnerable with people but now it’s gotten to the point where I’m antisocial and we’re meant to be around humans for our sake. I’m introverted so I like small doses of socializing, but being high all the time I’m very in my head. People think I hate them because I’m so shy. I can’t walk up to people and start conversations, but I want to learn too. Law of attraction, where you smile and act like your not dead most people are not as judgmental as I thought. But also addict friends are awful. I used to get yelled at for what I commented on by old friends.

 

[OrionBalls]

another reason I got into substances because I’m very shy I have a hard time being vulnerable with people but now it’s gotten to the point where I’m antisocial and we’re meant to be around humans for our sake. I’m introverted so I like small doses of socializing, but being high all the time I’m very in my head. People think I hate them because I’m so shy. I can’t walk up to people and start conversations, but I want to learn too. Law of attraction, where you smile and act like your not dead most people are not as judgmental as I thought. But also addict friends are awful. I used to get yelled at for what I commented on by old friends.

Ah, lonliness. Since I knew I wasn't ever good enough, and people liked me better when that edge came off, it also became a way for me to be social... At first. I remember all those feelings, too!

 

[Up3]

Ah, lonliness. Since I knew I wasn't ever good enough, and people liked me better when that edge came off, it also became a way for me to be social... At first. I remember all those feelings, too!

I understand too we are good enough. at times I’m very hard on myself, for what others have done to me. I felt like I was flawed for the life I was given. There must be a reason for all I’ve went through. I hope one day I’m successful and I can move on from my negative thoughts.

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Hi, I'm a wildly successful unofficial spokesperson for Cold Steel, and I am a Marijuana addict. Not gonna PL too much but my first time smoking was immediately after a life-altering event, and after a childhood of Adderall and Vyvanse it was a breath of fresh air in a world that was dull and inhospitable at the time.
It's now 8 years later, I've had a multiple gram-a-day habit this entire time, and today is my first complete week of being sober after quitting cold turkey (or STEEL LMAO, but really, thanks for sticking around and reading), it's a very strange feeling to cope with. I feel like I have lots of energy and I don't know where to place it yet, I also don't know how to re-integrate into socializing with the public when the typical and desired way to make new friends seems to be drinking or doing drugs with them. I was one of those kids in high school who smoked and drank to look cool and make friends and it worked really well, but I'm now an adult with a 9-5 who doesn't want to brag to people about the personal steps I'm taking, outside of my wonderful forum tards of course.
In conclusion, I feel like things are getting better, even if they're unfamiliar and uncomfortable again, and it's really important to me that the people around me can teach themselves to take steps in the right direction, so even if this doesn't echo in your heartstrings I hope this post is at least a little positive anecdote in your day.

 

[Up3]

lol

 

[thejackal2]

Hi, I'm a wildly successful unofficial spokesperson for Cold Steel, and I am a Marijuana addict. Not gonna PL too much but my first time smoking was immediately after a life-altering event, and after a childhood of Adderall and Vyvanse it was a breath of fresh air in a world that was dull and inhospitable at the time.
It's now 8 years later, I've had a multiple gram-a-day habit this entire time, and today is my first complete week of being sober after quitting cold turkey (or STEEL LMAO, but really, thanks for sticking around and reading), it's a very strange feeling to cope with. I feel like I have lots of energy and I don't know where to place it yet, I also don't know how to re-integrate into socializing with the public when the typical and desired way to make new friends seems to be drinking or doing drugs with them. I was one of those kids in high school who smoked and drank to look cool and make friends and it worked really well, but I'm now an adult with a 9-5 who doesn't want to brag to people about the personal steps I'm taking, outside of my wonderful forum tards of course.
In conclusion, I feel like things are getting better, even if they're unfamiliar and uncomfortable again, and it's really important to me that the people around me can teach themselves to take steps in the right direction, so even if this doesn't echo in your heartstrings I hope this post is at least a little positive anecdote in your day.

Getting sober is the easy part. It's life that is hard. One of the biggest things to get over with weed is just how...fun it makes ordinary things. Going back to ordinary is harder than quitting the buzz. It's not easy, I'm working on the same myself right now. Was smoking and drinking way too much over holidays and wasn't able to harm reduce after when work started back up. Work suffered but I am committed to getting back into a better place. Winter and this rut won't last forever. One day at a time!

 

[Up3]

I’m a month sober it’s better I don’t ingest and find healthier outlets,

 

[Adolf Hulkler]

Imagine not being so wasted 24/7 that you get the DT if you quit

 

[glioblastoma multiforme]

i've drank every day for at least the past 2 weeks, and taken one or more/all of benzos/pregab/gabapentin most days too. i've basically been on a bender since Christmas due to grief.

i did over 2 years almost completely sober (2 blips with light and dark) after ending up in rehab for hard drugs.

i used to expound enthusiastically about how worth it recovery was, but the monotony of scoring, using, getting money to score has been replaced by the monotony of normal life with fucked health. and i've fucked it even more now, to the extent that some medical treatment i need is on hold until certain health measures have improved. my work is probably being affected but fuck them.

i'm frequently suicidal and have started craving heroin, something i never thought i would crave again.

in a few weeks i have a very long flight via a place i will absolutely not dare trying to sneak anything through so i need to stop. its supposed to be the trip of a lifetime. its supposed to be exciting. but i don't care. everything feels meaningless.

this has been a very "me me me" post but i have experience with a lot of drugs and failing to quit a lot of drugs and actually quitting a lot of drugs so maybe i can help someone.

eta: i realised the above gives the wrong impression. i did 2 years NA style completely abstinent, i've been in recovery for 6 years. i still consider myself in recovery, having lost my job, being known to the local police as a junkie, planning your next crack pipe while smoking the current one, is not the same as holding down a job and a mortgage but drinking and doing pills more than is good for you.

anyway its 10.15 and i've not got any booze and i've not taken any pills today so i might actually give my liver a rest.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Well ah, I'm not really informed on this, but I thought the definition was being chemically addicted, and I didn't get withdrawals or anything. But my drinking was out of control and had negative impacts. If that's the definition, then yes, I just don't know what is or isn't alcoholism I guess

You've got an alcohol problem the second you consider whether you do or not. A bottle or 30 a week. The difficult thing is actually moving past it. I haven't drank in months I think, but the thought is there practically every friday, also now that it's suddenly near-spring temperatures and kids are playing outside and life feels good. Only thing keeping me from indulging is knowing Ill spend tomorrow throwing up. For some reason I started doing it whenever Ive drank, whereas Ive gone for years without ever once even getting close.

A friend reconnected and wanted to play and for once not from the US, so the time-zones are different and feel fresh, except they've now ghosted for 18 hours and I'm sure it'll last throughout the weekend. I'm not sad and I've never drank cause of emotions, but it really is that kind of situation where you just go "Ah well. What'd I expect" and instead buzz the night out with alcohol.

I mean, ignoring the physical health issues and the die-hard cold turkey attitude people have in here, I never really considered it bad to drink for yourself, doing something for yourself, and not getting actually drunk. You wouldn't hear an old guy go "I drank a glass of whisky and read in my study for 2 hours" and go "holy shit bro gotta #lifemaxx and quit". I really think the most unhealthy part of my drinking has been the "bottom out 3 glasses so you'll be sociable and fun".

 

[Sheikh]

Wish I didn’t smoke cigarettes. In 5 years of smoking I’ve never gotten over how bad it tastes and I chase them with sweets or soda or something. I spit every inhale. I feel like Cobra because he hates how alcohol tastes and has to make drink combos, but I combo cigarettes with sweet stuff and it’s the same thing. Half a pack a day smoker on average. When I don’t have cigs I will snipe butts off the sidewalk and everyone hates that because it makes the nice neighbourhood look trashy.

Today I’ll bring three cigs in to work to ration them. The only good cig is the first in the morning and the last one after work. If I can condense my nicotine consumption to just that I’ll be content.