Tonida is an untrustworthy groomer and manipulator
THE STORY
Around 3-4 months ago as of writing I had met him, he’d constantly tell me about how accepting and kind I was, in a community where had found that rare, and over time he’d use this as an excuse to begin to be more intimate with me, he’d become more flirty and flattering, and I never thought it was a huge deal, I trusted him
Over time he would subtly groom me into abandoning my morals, he would tell me how proud he would be for doing things like making streamers cry, he’d specifically tell me he fell in love with me because of a certain clip of mine where I had mistakenly caused a woman to break down on stream, I was really morally unsure at the time, but I trusted his word and his feelings, whenever I was morally unsure on things I would talk to him about it, this is where many of his out of context screenshots come from, me confiding in someone I trust to help me understand what the right thing was, but his responses would always be bland but encouraging, just things like “Fr” or “Real”, further pushing me into the mindset that was I was doing was right, he had noticed how mentally ill I was becoming over time, unable to care for myself after my mother had passed away, and he barely helped, instead he saw an opportunity to further take advantage of me, he’d often emotionally hurt me, one way he did this was by cheating on me with someone in my own friend group, leaving me feeling isolated until I felt like I had no choice but to forgive him, it wasn’t long after that until I had woke up one morning to a barrage of notifications from my computer, all my friends had abandoned me and everything I had worked on in the past few years had been tarnished, I was foolish enough to let him into so many parts of my life that he had spread lies about me to almost everyone I knew, he had manipulated me into thinking we was so identical and similar that we were almost soul mates, but I was fools for believe that, everyone by that time had left me, or was going to after harassing me further, it felt like I really had nothing to live for anymore, I took myself to a bridge with nothing else than my phone and an umbrella at 3am and sat there in the heavy rain pondering for the longest time, I had ultimately come to the conclusion that if I did it people would just move on and forget me, and in that moment thats all I wanted, but before then I had decided to try seeing if the suicide hotline would help me at all, I sat there waiting for 30 minutes for someone to pick up, the sound of the phone ringing echoed around me as I felt pure loneliness for the first time, I felt weak and cowardly for not being able to push myself, but I wanted to at least give life one last try with the hotline, as I waited in the rain I had tried to cut myself with an antique dagger I had brought with me, but it was too dull, I had never felt more pathetic and defeated than then
A few days later as to where im now writing this, all the people I used to love and care for have suddenly switched on me, it feels like everything I had done for them was meaningless
DEEPER INTO DETAILS
Whenever I was productive releasing content on either persona, hed keep creepily telling me how proud he was of me, hed make me feel important for doing things I knew were wrong, but I wasnt sure what to do, I apologise to everyone ive dissapointed, I hate to admit that during a long period of our relationship I truely did 100% trust him, if he privately asked me to quit everything, I probably wouldve for him, but instead he had to take everyone and everything from me, words can’t describe the amount of loneliness thats surrounded me in the recent days
Heres the screenshots of him motivating me to do things he now deems me “Evil” For, from content from both personas
TLDRS;
Tonida collaborated with a foodist cp spammer (raidz) to do what he did to me
Tonida had nuked a server I had made for the dale glenn legion to help filter out cp spammers
Tonida lied about having an abusive father to “Gain my trust”, does he have no shame? (Pics here
https://files.catbox.moe/zi9h7l.png)
Tonida had groomed me into becoming a worser person, only to call me out for the things hed encourage me to do months later
Tonida called my server a groomercord despite him participating in it and growing it through content
Tonida criticised me after ruining everything for me for not having ID checks in my server even though he had admin and the power to make that happen
Tonida had participated in raceplay so much in the past as to where he had a stalker as a consequence
Tonida had been participating in roblox ERP for years before he had met me
Tonida or his friends had made a discord account impersonating me to make me look like a pedophile
Tonida fully admitted to manipulating me in a discord groupchat, boasting about it
Tonida censored himself out of ALL the screenshots he posted of me out of cowardise
Tonida had deleted both his roblox accounts to hide evidence of his past of roblox ERP
Tonida knowingly scrolled past hundreds of instances of me being a good partner for him just to take a few things out of context
Tonida is a gooner (Proof
https://files.catbox.moe/x7reaz.png, NSFW warning)
IMMATURITY AND IRRESPONSIBILITY
This section is fairly simple? Like I mentioned earlier none of this had to be public, it couldve been solved privately with less drama?
Also if tonida GENUINLY believed I had groomed the 5k members of my server he wouldnt have went along with some dumbass insensitive shit like “Evil ksi”, when people deal with what they believe are real victims they are more sensitive about how they present themselves
But in the end I still would forgive them if I had the chance to do so, I don’t want to let his evil carve out a whole for hatred in my heart. I dont expect any real apology for anything i did, it just hurt seeing someone who had groomed me fully get away with it
