Is "lactose tolerance" a "white supremacist dogwhistle" yet?Bald lumberjacks are lactose tolerant. They have stylish and gorgeous friends.
entering my Noho Hank phase with the most stylish and gorgeous old friends on the planet...Ialso want to thank God for my profound and inborn lactose tolerance, which serves me so well as I approach my 40s and can still put away milkshakes of profound size and depth
Hopefully some sort of catastrophic event will wipe out the entire internet and teen aged Rocco will never see what his "other mother" was up to online while he was a baby.
They are exhibited in Mallorys attic, oppressively circling her single bed of sadness.
Many such cases in academia.
Joe currently wears gaudy and unnecessary clothes for much the same reason they did, Mal.On Bluesky, the totally manly lumberjack has had her Conclave itch scratched by Wolf Hall because Tudor clothes.
| Henry VIII | Joe |
| multiple wives | multiple wives |
| blew through massive inheritance from Henry VII, went into debt | blew through massive advance from Hamish at Substack, went into debt |
| impregnated his mistress while still married | impregnated his mistress while still married |
| Catherine of Aragon belittled, status removed | Mal in the attic |
| so good looking he was compared in his youth to a beautiful woman | so degenerate he tried in his middle age to turn into a beautiful woman |
| rebelled against authority figure, the Pope | rebelled against authority figure, the head of the department |
| a bit lazy | a bit lazy |
| selfish, narcissistic | selfish, narcissistic |
| invaded France | invaded East Lansing |
| iconic image of power captured by master painter Holbein | iconic image of self-delusion captured by some guy |
| clever but overestimated own abilities as a writer, no-one now reads his books except for academics studying him | clever but overestimated own abilities as a writer, no-one now reads his books except for autists studying him |
| flabby, unhealthy and prematurely aged in his forties | flabby, unhealthy and prematurely aged in his forties |
| executed people for disagreeing with him | angry tweetstorms about JK Rowling |
| risked his life jousting | risks his life eating his own cooking |
You forgot one
Henry VIII | Joe |
| Suffered from gout due to his excess | Suffered from gout due to his excess |
Winner for rhythm and meter. I get irrationally mad at how badly most kiwis (and even the geniuses on 4chan) can't match the things that are 90% of a poem or song you're parodying.
