What caused you to be hyper-focused on Sockness? You said that was happening even before you talked to him.
Sonichu is my special interest. I found out about Jacob through Jakobas depiction in the sonichu 14 pages. Thats when i found out about Kidasuna, Rokat, and Sockness. He seemed weird but pretty interesting, so i read some stuff about him, and it sparked from there.
Proof of how bad this hyperfixation was even before reaching out. . . Theres way worse but im saving the last scraps of dignity i have left
He had a really weird vibe and i wanted to see if he really acted the way he did on twitter and stuff. I didnt really care about his connection to CWC but it added to the interesting factor. I watched practicly every video and
even read his books and his pages online, joined that autism liberation blog too. At that point, since theres not a staggering amount of content on him, i made fanart. A friend told me i should send him it, so i tried to.
Also, at this point: i lowkey thought he was cool, to the point of almost admiration or a really really innocent crush (?)
I added him on discord not expecting him to accept it or even reply. This was the first time i had dirrect contact with a non fictional hyperfixation.
I was already extremely fixated by the time i reached out to him. My first message to him was fanart. I was really really excited to be talking to him. He was at a bar when i first messaged him. I told him about thinking he was cool (since, at the time, i really did believe he was cool, or atleast i wanted to believe it) and he was really cringey and offputting. Sent me some mildly to moderately NSFW messages and videos and talked about being drunk. But he called the fanart cute and i guess that was enough mentally for me to think he was a good person. I told him up front that i was hyperfixated on him. We became friends after that.
In retrospect i think how deeply i was fixated on him and how much i looked up to him at the time was taken advantage of, since he sorta tried to spoonfeed me his retard propaganda under the premise of "helping", "protecting", or "teaching me his wisdom"
Hes somehow super fuckin rapey over text BTW lol