Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Dr. Butt]

she doesn't have the arm strength to blow out her bangs every day

Actually horrifying to try and imagine. Most people unable to do their bangs are full-on about to die of cancer. Like, extremely close to a for-sure death, because we've all seen Stage 4B patients who are definitely going to live still be able to dress up to go to a holiday dinner or art show, even if they can't eat or can't stand up for more than 20 minutes at a time. To get that fucked in the health just by eating food that didn't even taste good is really disgusting.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

No fucking way was this break up from a real relationship. She would have posted the shit out of the dude, if she was dating someone for real.

 

[The Hardest R]

No fucking way was this break up from a real relationship. She would have posted the shit out of the dude, if she was dating someone for real.

Plus hasn’t she posted ad nauseam about how she’s been dating herself, don’t need no man, etc. Either she made it up (most likely scenario), lost a cakejohn (definitely possible considering the downturn in her quality of life), or had a one night stand that she’s pretending was something more (least likely scenario).

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

No fucking way was this break up from a real relationship. She would have posted the shit out of the dude, if she was dating someone for real.

Character.ai maybe?

 

[brrr]

Funniest part of Tess’ eternal flop era is that she’s not even the most relevant chubby redhead model named Tess anymore. I’m a big fan of Tess McMillan’s work. She’s a model and painter, clearly chunky for a model but very good at it. I wonder if Ryann ever scrolls through Tess McMillan’s Instagram and seethes. She definitely does if she knows who she is. She’s all Tess wishes she was in my opinion. She’s also a zoomer. Setting herself up for a solid career, unlike some people we know.

 

[Clotso Coof]

I wonder when Tess gets on a plane for her Ted Talk. Isn't it scheduled for tomorrow?

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

I’m just thinking about how Thanksgiving is next week. Is Tess going to get invited anywhere now that she doesn’t have any friends? I doubt she can really afford a good turkey. Will she have to shrivel and wither on the day where you stuff yourself like a true American?
Well, the other most likely case scenario is that her family invites her to dinner, which may or may not lead to the “moving back to Mississippi” arc.

 

[multiverse]

I’m just thinking about how Thanksgiving is next week. Is Tess going to get invited anywhere now that she doesn’t have any friends? I doubt she can really afford a good turkey. Will she have to shrivel and wither on the day where you stuff yourself like a true American?
Well, the other most likely case scenario is that her family invites her to dinner, which may or may not lead to the “moving back to Mississippi” arc.

She probably dropped Bowie off at her dad's place in Mississippi, and is planning to return to MS to be fed like a prize pig by her stepmother (and pick up Bowie.)

The other option is that she got Jolene to come down to LA and watch Bowie. In this case, Thanksgiving will be takeout eaten on their one hotel bed with just Ryann and her remaining TANF / EBT dependant.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

She probably dropped Bowie off at her dad's place in Mississippi, and is planning to return to MS to be fed like a prize pig by her stepmother (and pick up Bowie.)

The other option is that she got Jolene to come down to LA and watch Bowie. In this case, Thanksgiving will be takeout eaten on their one hotel bed with just Ryann and her remaining TANF / EBT dependant.

School’s off next week for most kids. If Jolene was involved at all, I’d say that Bowie would probably be shipped up to her since she has a, y’know, home. Unlike Bowie.

Idk how he feels about his family back in the holler. If he likes them, I hope that’s where he was sent for the week.

 

[cactus]

School’s off next week for most kids. If Jolene was involved at all, I’d say that Bowie would probably be shipped up to her since she has a, y’know, home. Unlike Bowie.

Idk how he feels about his family back in the holler. If he likes them, I hope that’s where he was sent for the week.

Last I remember, California schools don't take the whole week off, but I could be wrong, it's been awhile since I was in school.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

If the school he's in follows the Long Beach Unified School District schedule (dunno, unclear which school he attends), he doesn't get the week off.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

I wonder when Tess gets on a plane for her Ted Talk. Isn't it scheduled for tomorrow?

Today's her travel day. I bet she'll only be there for the talk and the made to fly out asap afterwards.

 

[multiverse]

Today's her travel day. I bet she'll only be there for the talk and the made to fly out asap afterwards.

Loooool omg there is no way she fit into that business class seats pod! She's sitting over the two side tables with a blanket stuffed under her, guaranteed.

Her purse, which is like a third of her width, barely fit into that seat.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

"How do I look this go"-

You don't. Your hair is a greasy fucking mess, and your slimming filters are showing.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

True - if Tess had BPD we'd see her change her personality with the change of partners, which isn't something she's done. On the opposite, she seems to pull partners down with her lifestyle.

Nah, there’s plenty of BPD who stick to a basic style character they think is most appealing or works. Raven Sparks is a prime example. Raven has stuck with the gothic tattooed vampire grrl for thirty years.

It’s also a matter of not being able to swing any other type or style. Tess invested everything into convincing the world she is a morbidly obese trashy supah model and it’s a blind alley. She has no other options, or ideas, other than to stick with what works

As for changing for partners, she doesn’t have to because any guy that wants to be with her totally buys into the alt fattie stuff and is a feeder so she just digs in deeper or maintains. It’s not like Tess is going to attract some Chad into fitness models or widowed Mormon looking for a step-mom for his six kids. Any guy interested in Tess is into what she’s been selling since 2014. (I’d guess maybe Tess’s identity wasn’t as stable till she met some alt goth guy type and adopted his style. It worked so well she made a career of it because she was the fattest, but with a non-bloated conventionally attractive face, “suicide girl” type on offer.

I think the tattoos and fat drag Queen schtick kept her with paid gigs longer than if she had tried to be a more conventional model. She was too fat to be one, but she could sell the gross obesity as yet another “not like the other girls” box to tick on the attention getting checklist.

 

[cactus]

If the school he's in follows the Long Beach Unified School District schedule (dunno, unclear which school he attends), he doesn't get the week off.

View attachment 6670934

Bowie's in private school, isn't he? So the district's holidays don't apply to him, though all schools tend to observe federal holidays.

I wonder if Tess is having Bowie skip school to drop him off at her father's or if he has a babysitter so he doesn't miss?

How in the hell did she afford an international business class seat?

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Bowie's in private school, isn't he? So the district's holidays don't apply to him, though all schools tend to observe federal holidays.

I wonder if Tess is having Bowie skip school to drop him off at her father's or if he has a babysitter so he doesn't miss?

How in the hell did she afford an international business class seat?

Tedx paid for it. I don't think they actually pay speakers but they do handle transportation and lodging.

 

[Twrx]

I'm actually looking forward to watching the talk, will she sit down, will she need help up, will she stand still wheezing out her speech or does she attempt to waddle and talk.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

I'm actually looking forward to watching the talk, will she sit down, will she need help up, will she stand still wheezing out her speech or does she attempt to waddle and talk.

I'm actually more interested in the contents of her speech. If she had to write her own speech, it will 100% be ghostwritten by ChatGPT.

 

[RainbowStarlight]

I'm 100% looking forward to how this Tedx thing is going to go down. It takes place at 6pm-10pm CET just FYI.