Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[TheMeanOne]

There’s no real thought or appreciation for design itself, aesthetics, style or superior workmanship, it’s all just label whoring and trashy exhibitionism.

This, this, this. He probably could've gotten better quality from Zenni Optical or Warby Parker but that would never do.

He always looks a mess. And you know these salespeople see him coming.

 

[Bookwork]

His allusions to NYC make his pretentiousness almost poignant. His scavenged NYC attire, his boho NYC connections, his invented NYC relevance. Even his sunglasses get broken at Moynihan.

... Then the bilious genie has to squeeze back into his East Lansing bottle, leaving nothing but the spores of corn smut behind.

 

[Trianon]

Is he an actual sex addict or an insecure loser trying to remain interesting by inserting "penis" into every conversation? Don't answer this.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Is he an actual sex addict or an insecure loser trying to remain interesting by inserting "penis" into every conversation?

Joe doesn't have to go off HRT to insert "penis" into a conversation.

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

Joe’s commitment to camp has landed him in that strange designer segment of high fashion that goes the extra mile to show neither price nor effort. It’s so bad that he ends up having to name drop brands like the insecure middle aged man that he is instead of letting the outfit speak for itself.

Anyway with the heathen capitalist black mass that is back friday soon approaching im sure the Lavery household is going to do the responsible thing and donate what little loose cash they have to the Palestinian cause.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I am looking forward to trying to decyper Joe's demon novel. I have a limited understanding myself but I am betting I have a leg up on Joe.

 

[monstrous bubo]

I am looking forward to trying to decyper Joe's demon novel.

Alas, not a novel but what:

will be my fourth scholarly monograph, LECTURES ON DEMONOLOGY. Three critical essays focused on Twin Flames Universe, GHOST, and O. J. Simpson, plus intro. link

This apparently means

a book on demonology and the figuration of the demon amidst the contemporary collapse of liberalism. xo link

Rather disarmingly our favourite bluestocking also says:

Also, not that literally anyone will ever care about this, but I’m trying to maintain a distinction between books I publish as “Grace Lavery” (primarily for non-academic readerships) and those I publish as “Grace E. Lavery” (UP books). link

Joe, you’ve always got us. We care.

I have a limited understanding myself but I am betting I have a leg up on Joe

I’m happy to back you.

 

[Dromedary]

I love how self-serious and grandiose Joe is about his absolutely horrendous fashion. Never change, narc.

There is zero chance that the unfortunate child will not be playing with this hideous thing one day soon while Joe and the girls cackle and screech at the hilarity of a baby playing with an obscene doll. They will find it hilarious and Joe will post pics to Instagram and make unfunny jokes about it.

 

[Bookwork]

Mr. E Lavery will learn that in MIchigan "UP" does not mean "university press" and locals he abuses with his exhaust fumes will think he's challenging Steve Hamilton for peninsular dominance.

Does the lesbian whose name begins with L know an artisan who can make Joe a necklace with the UP as a pendant with its tip elongating to wrap around his neck?

TIL throuples joyously embrace within them contrasting life styles. Here, the lumberjack writes from the attic:


While the fashionista writes from Broadway:

Spoiler: Text

Daniel M. Lavery @daniel_m_lavery
9h
just prevented my dog from throwing up on the bed after I just changed the sheets and I feel as good as if I just won an award

@grace.lavery.pangolin
Last night, I got to see Nicole Scherzinger’s turn as Norma Desmond in Jamie Lloyd’s adaptation of Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s SUNSET BOULEVARD musical. “Turn” seems an unavoidable word: across the street from the St. James Theater, Audra McDonald was giving Mama Rose in Sondheim’s GYPSY, a role written in 1959 (surely) with Gloria Swanson’s Norma (from Billy Wilder’s 1950 movie) in mind. GYPSY ends, of course, with the stage mom delivering arguably Broadway’s single greatest number, “Rose’s Turn,” the word “turn” freighted with more meaning that in can bear: an act, a negated recompense (“when is it my turn?”), a souring, as of milk. D. A. Miller’s reading of “Rose’s Turn” in PLACE FOR US is utterly masterful, and complete in a way that none of the magnificent performances of that song have been, albeit that having blasted the “Turn” seems to have been, understandably, installed as one of the major archives of Broadway divas, and seems in my experience likelier than any other song to generate passionate defenses and critiques of individual performances. I wish I had seen Audra’s work: I bet it was magnificent, and if she’s still playing next time I’m back in the city, I’ll see it.

 

[monstrous bubo]

just prevented my dog from throwing up on the bed after I just changed the sheets and I feel as good as if I just won an award

Why do I call her Tard Baby? She’s adulting like a champ. Using “just” three times in one sentence is probably some sophisticated literary technique.

 

[Mellorine]

They sell those Walter Van Beirendonck rabbit dick necklaces in the Tom of Finland store for $245.

Spoiler: As modeled for the shop by a hairy dude in tighty whities.

So sapphic.

 

[Dr. Butt]

will be my fourth scholarly monograph, LECTURES ON DEMONOLOGY. Three critical essays focused on Twin Flames Universe, GHOST, and O. J. Simpson, plus intro. link

a book on demonology and the figuration of the demon amidst the contemporary collapse of liberalism. xo link

Translation:


@Bookwork He reviewed a different play than the one he went to? It reads like he just wants everyone to know he's better than the singer he paid to see and would RATHER have been at the more famous, more name-droppable production across the street.

 

[kazuhiro]

Joe: "I wish I had seen Audra’s work: I bet it was magnificent, and if she’s still playing next time I’m back in the city, I’ll see it."

he just wants everyone to know he's better than the singer he paid to see and would RATHER have been at the more famous, more name-droppable production across the street.

Call it Boho po-mo FOMO.

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

Joe Lavery, ectoplasm sommelier.

Also that rabbit necklace with its pink titty scars and artificially large penis feels like a pooner caricature of Mal.

 

[Bookwork]

Wave of nostalgia sweeps East Lansing:

Because one re-re-re-airs one's attack on one's family for pay, only. The Chatner

Plus, a nostalgic reference to That Photo:

Caption for that and two other baby pix:

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

While the fashionista writes from Broadway:

Joe's Prose has this strange effect on me where I am quite literally incapable of reading it. I can pick out words that I recognize, but after a line or so my eyes glaze over and my brain refuses to continue to parse it. I've read some pretty dense shit in my day. Thucydides, Derrida, Chris-Chan. Joe is the only writer, in any language, of any era, where my literacy simply goes on strike. It's astounding.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Joe posts a mini album of Rocco + selfies of himself with Rocco. Whatever, boring, cute baby stuff:


Is it just me or is the way they comment on each other's Instagrams so awkward and performative? I think it's pretty normal for parents to interact with kid-related stuff the other posts on social media, but they way they do it is so stilted.


Meanwhile, elsewhere in the comments:

Yes, that would be ever so strange if the child turned out to be a heterosexual male like his father.

 

[monstrous bubo]

Is it just me or is the way they comment on each other's Instagrams so awkward and performative?

Everything they do is performative. It’s their particular flavour of milk.

 

[Constellationzero]

but after a line or so my eyes glaze over and my brain refuses to continue to parse it.

Same with Failory the fail pooner who cannot write, yet inexplicably, got a book published while people with REAL talent and skill go unnoticed...

 

[monstrous bubo]

Tard Baby’s literary career continues with the last flourish of her book tour from 2024, and the promise of more in 2025

link

Along with her career, her creativity is also in rude health. She has been invited to take part in Esquire’s Napkin Project: write fiction on a cocktail napkin. Esquire says

We asked five of the most electric writers to fill a blank cocktail napkin with a story about Turkey Day. Their stories will break your heart, make you laugh, disturb you—you know, like most holidays.

One is Chuck Palahniuk, but the others? If these are electric, I’d hate to see the non-electric. Make up your own mind here.

IMO hers is one of the better ones, mostly because the format requires terseness so her worst excesses are constrained. It tells a story clearly and unsentimentally, which gives it more emotional power. Chuck Palahnuik’s is arguably better, It made me laugh, and also its connection to Thanksgiving is more subtle. His handwriting is definitely better. Here’s her napkin if you want to form views on her penwomanship.