Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[XxxwernxxX]

General FYI (and late), but pepper spray is available and legal in NY state, provided that it's purchased in state and from an authorized dealer (usually pharmacies for some reason).

Tazers/stun guns are officially banned, but the law is unenforceable according to the Supreme Court as of last year, but AFAIK there's no place that sells them here. As long as you're using it defensively you probably won't get charged.

It's fairly easy to get a tazer shipped to NY from a small business, though larger retailers generally restrict certain items based on ZIP codes.

I'd love to see her trying to swing an oak staff at someone.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

How bizarre that she's only just realising that white supremacy runs rampant through Norse paganism and is now choosing to research authors.

'Loki University' lol. I can only imagine how uwu that 'Loki's Wyrdlings' Discord is.

 

[Aunt Carol]

How bizarre that she's only just realising that white supremacy runs rampant through Norse paganism and is now choosing to research authors.

In agreement here. This feels like when you end up the one to tell a vegetarian what marshmallows are made out of, and you were just assuring them that you brought brownies and Rice Krispie treats.

Has she never even seen the thumbnail for one of the hundreds of videos about Nazi occultism, going back to the History Channel? I'm pretty sure any forum or subreddit about European paganism has a disclaimer or two about white supremacy in their FAQ--or is having the flamewar now that will cause that disclaimer next month.

Actually, speaking of subreddits.... ...she never ran across white supremacist controversy in edgelord occultism and the Rammstein fandom?

 

[Pee Your Pants]

You know what people with actual IBS do? They learn what foods trigger it, then avoid those foods, because the intestinal outrage is not worth however good that food tastes. They avoid those foods because they have responsibilities in their life and can't afford to spend long periods of time in the bathroom, unlike our little Spudlet.

And they know how embarrassing, gross and boring it is to talk about with the people in their lives, so they don't. They have more interesting things to talk about than their recent gut betrayal. They certainly wouldn't blast all the details about their last ass blast on social media.

I don't have IBS, but I know people who do, so this bullshit annoys me.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

Oh for fucksake, this retard. Staph, you do not have cystic fibrosis, or late-stage cancer, or sickle-cell anemia, or any of the other innumerable cases where your "chronic illness" legitimately becomes a core part of your identity regardless of whether you like it or not, because the treatments are so brutal or invasive that they're significantly life-limiting in themselves, but you remain compliant despite how much it sucks because if you don't you'll fucking die. Painfully. Those are chronic illness warriors. People who fight to live when accepting the painful death could legitimately be seen as the more tempting option (and no, empty suicide baiting to manipulate people doesn't count). You, Staph, are a spoiled, posturing retard who has to take a cheap, harmless pill each day to avoid feeling sluggish and know that eating too much cheese will give you the shits but do it anyway. That is not a "chronic illness warrior", it's a "fat fuck committing Social Security fraud".

Clearly the one way to gain legitimacy as a "chronic illness warrior" is if she necks herself and leaves a note saying she did it because milkshakes make her fart a lot. No blaming it on Kiwi Farms or Donald Trump either, that's cheating. Kiwi Farms would no longer consider her a laughingstock and eulogize her with the respect she deserves, I swear.

 

[Aunt Carol]

You know what people with actual IBS do? They learn what foods trigger it, then avoid those foods, because the intestinal outrage is not worth however good that food tastes.

Remember that Stephanie actually has diagnosed GERD, and used to post regularly about how she'd eat right before bed, or eat spicy/acidic food late in the evening, and that she was aware this would have consequences.

The only change is that she's finally realized there aren't any "GERD warriors" out there. Now she's trying to pathologize her unsupervised child diet, in the assumption that the IBS community isn't cohesive or identity-driven enough to have anyone rooting out fakers.

Oh hey, roots. Wouldn't ancient herbal wisdom have a lot to say about fixing GI problems? The ancient Celts didn't exactly have the diagnostic tools we do, but if you look at any book of remedies (or cookbook up to the 1700s) they'll have a lot to say about "wind," as well as constipation and diarrhea if you can figure out the euphemism.

From an 1864 translation of Bald's Leechbook:


Every time I come to this thread, I swear I understand less and less about what being a Druid entails.

 

[it's pronounced gif]

Buck wild to have GERD and actively encourage it. Like, the solution is to Not Eat certain things. You literally have to Do Nothing. And heartburn is miserable, I can't imagine experiencing it on the regular enough to see a doc and then going home like "think I'll deliberately provoke this now that I know the cause, actually"

She's lucky she doesn't have food allergies because I swear this dumb bitch is the type to eat a peanut butter sammich with a nut allergy and simply stab herself with an epipen afterward instead of just Not Eating the peanut butter.

edit to add: almost glossed right on by "neurodivergence affects my body" bitch i have autism too i don't shit myself constantly the fuck??? it makes me retarded not fecally incontinent

 

[Spangled Drongo]

In agreement here. This feels like when you end up the one to tell a vegetarian what marshmallows are made out of, and you were just assuring them that you brought brownies and Rice Krispie treats.

Has she never even seen the thumbnail for one of the hundreds of videos about Nazi occultism, going back to the History Channel? I'm pretty sure any forum or subreddit about European paganism has a disclaimer or two about white supremacy in their FAQ--or is having the flamewar now that will cause that disclaimer next month.

Actually, speaking of subreddits.... ...she never ran across white supremacist controversy in edgelord occultism and the Rammstein fandom?

Wonder if this is the beginning of the end for her Norse phase. She's not the only uber-liberal adherent of Norse paganism but left-wing politics and Tumblrinas with a zillion different genders certainly isn't what most people think when they think of those who worship Odin, Thor, Loki et cetera. Their minds either go to white supremacists or to Marvel/other pop culture that features the Norse gods, the assumption being that the claimed religion isn't serious and simply comes from consuming too much Norse and Viking themed media. Which is where Staph actually is, but... she won't ever admit to being a pop culture pagan and likes to pretend her faith goes so much deeper than that. And she's definitely said stuff that comes across as racist, whether intentionally or otherwise, so... either she makes one big self flagellating cry-fest of a post saying she done screwed up and broke the rules of her own damn ideology and apologises for her white privilege/limited exposure to THE BROWN and promises to do better, does nothing and continues to live in her own bubble despite the bad rep her stated beliefs get (most likely) or we're about to see the beginning of a new phase and many lulz will be had. If she does move on from Loki over the coming weeks and says she's receiving visions from a new higher entity of some sort, I'll consider it a  Christmas Yuletide miracle.

IDK if anyone else remembers "The Golden One" from late 2010s era Youtube but he was this big muscly Swedish dude, possibly on steroids, who was a Norse pagan with the stereotypical racist/sexist views though he had to sort of skirt around it/choose his language carefully so as to not get banned. Lots of debates between him and the other equally crazy end of the spectrum. He ironically came off as really really gay but in the closet about it due to his worldview not looking favourably upon men kissing each other. I've started picturing him as Staph's "transition goal" or fantasy self now she's caught onto the sort of people who typically follow her same religion. Possible crush of hers too in another reality where she went hardcore right wing instead of woke?

 

[Bojack Horsekin]

ffs Staph, I have chronic dairy shits too but I take Lactaid pills like a big girl so I can enjoy my sweet, sweet ice cream without clogging the toilet.

 

[AfghanBlue]

In agreement here. This feels like when you end up the one to tell a vegetarian what marshmallows are made out of, and you were just assuring them that you brought brownies and Rice Krispie treats.

Has she never even seen the thumbnail for one of the hundreds of videos about Nazi occultism, going back to the History Channel? I'm pretty sure any forum or subreddit about European paganism has a disclaimer or two about white supremacy in their FAQ--or is having the flamewar now that will cause that disclaimer next month.

Actually, speaking of subreddits.... ...she never ran across white supremacist controversy in edgelord occultism and the Rammstein fandom?

Legit. If anything she is culturally appropriating the fascists by larping as their interest/ lifestyle . Theyve had this shit on lock as long as its existed in the last couple hundred years.
Duh doi, Stephanie.

This is why I wonder how she reads her thread, when she reads it. We've been repeating this simple fact for ages, but when she brings it up, she hyper focuses on certain things and just misses everything else. I wonder if she uses the search function or something?


Staph's newest IBS post is a perfect example of her starting a fight in an empty (stinky) room.
She has had a bad time on the bog, and have gone through an entire narrative journey, with no external encouragement or disagreement, where it is now societies fault.


She has managed to physically and mentally wallop herself, now that she gets to sit and seethe abut this invisible, external locus of control who are.... Judging her retarded choice to eat stuff that disagrees with her?
Or they would be if they were commenting, but they arent.
But they would! Just like how YOU would see her killed and raped! *

I seriously don't get how she gets any enjoyment from never getting any engagement.
But maybe she doesn't need it, like she goes through the same process as delineated anyway.
She certainly hits the same beats in every single actual engagement, no matter what is said at all.

*this is the bit she never explains or shows any working for arriving at as a point. Explaining why anyone would ever give a fuck. Despite all the time whipping up arguments, she always dips out when asked to explain why anyone is supposed to care one way or the other.
Usually by means of becoming Loki, lately. He's been quiet lately though, ain't he.

She's lucky (again, that no one gives a shit enough that) the teenagers didn't come back and gloat that fuck all happened. Got away with that one!
Though it has clearly bruised her ego.


Kek, staph and the golden one

I dunno that she could drop her norse shit. She's been into it a very long time and she meevr trully drops anything, she tends to keep connecting strings while slowly transforming the thing itself.
She's far too deep in to her delusion to be able to back out now, honestly. It legit would be ego death, and there's nothing else of her BUT ego.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I figure if anything she'll just swing back more towards uwudruid, since that's such a reconstructed not-exactly-any-particular-culture sort of thing that she can tailor it more fully to whatever she wants (which is exactly what she does with anything she's into anyways, picking and choosing the bits she likes and then bullshitting the rest wholesale).

The only problem is that druid stuff doesn't have convenient Marvel prettyboys deities for her to pretend to fuck, and 'I'm fucking the spirit of some random ditch weed' doesn't appeal to her narcissism as much as 'me and Lolki are totes engaged and bang daily'.

What a conundrum (that nobody except an absolute lunatic will ever find themselves in).

 

[Aunt Carol]

The only problem is that druid stuff doesn't have convenient Marvel prettyboys deities for her to pretend to fuck, and 'I'm fucking the spirit of some random ditch weed' doesn't appeal to her narcissism as much as 'me and Lolki are totes engaged and bang daily'.

I don't know enough about Japanese video games (and visual novels) but aren't a lot of them using old AD&D archetypes, the same way they used to be into decorative Christianity in the 1990s?

Everyone wants to fuck an elf vampire recently, I know that. There has to be some medieval magic user made out of pixels that presses Stephanie's buttons enough that she can enjoy the fanworks and conveniently segue into her own historically authentic practice and her PDF diploma from Druid Night School.

Stephanie brags about being terrible at video games, but we found the origin of that story and it was being owned once at a casual FPS during a family get-together, and she thinks that's the only kind of game there is. Maybe someday the teens she's grooming will explain story-heavy walking simulators or visual novels to the Trans-Boomer of Endicott, and she can fixate on fictional characters who were designed to be fixated on by greasy NEETs.

I know I was saying earlier that her magickal realm would be improved by shampoo and a trip to the tabletop gaming store, but baby steps.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

Legit. If anything she is culturally appropriating the fascists by larping as their interest/ lifestyle . Theyve had this shit on lock as long as its existed in the last couple hundred years.
Duh doi, Stephanie.

This is why I wonder how she reads her thread, when she reads it. We've been repeating this simple fact for ages, but when she brings it up, she hyper focuses on certain things and just misses everything else. I wonder if she uses the search function or something?

Come to think of it, it's a shame her channelling Loki Tumblr was so short lived, I'd have liked to see her make a post RPing as Loki denouncing all the racist Norse pagans, possibly giving us The Brown: The Sequel. Though honestly it wouldn't surprise me if she had a secret Neo-Nazi fetish either given she loves murderers already so why not add wannabe genocidal maniacs to the mix? And it's not as if someone possibly not believing in her genders excludes them from her fantasies considering Dahmer only liked dick yet she's written extensively about her fantasies of him enjoying her bxy pxssy... so yeah, new Staph headcanon just dropped. I'd be on the floor laughing like an idiot if she wrote Neo-Nazi gay trans fanfic.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

A round up of caps from the past few days:

Fake leaves + forgetting what crystals you are using = shit druid.


Sadly, I don't know what this was originally in reply to.


I don't think autists are known for liking disorder, so they probably wouldn't want to invite it by worshipping the god of chaos.


Siggy doesn't create discourse on Tumblr or claim to cause earthquakes, so she is nothing like her father.


I wonder what Staph's last patch sale was?


She is fantastic at selling herself.


It's been a while since her last 'drug' trip.


Nice cat dox, Staph. I guess Siggy is looking across at the other apartments in her building, or to the next building.


Still on her mission to find non white supremacist writers.


Ghost Tube is a phone app that claims to detect ghosts. Of course it's a load of bunkum. I'm kind of tempted to try it for the lols.


Staph doesn't care about potential human devastation, as long as she gets confirmation bias that Lolki/she is right about something.


I have noticed that she never shows her face when she posts nudes. She has a 'praise' kink LOL. She gets off on her imaginary friends telling her how great she is. What a fucking narc.


Staph barges in where she is not welcome, as usual. She is a straight woman, not a dyke. Even if we believe that she is a man, then she is a gay man. She has no place commenting, either way.


An hour and a half day dreaming about an orgy with the ghosts of Jeffrey Dahmer and Richard Ramirex, plus Tom Hiddleston Loki. Clean your apartment or play with your cat.

Staph has posted a video of her stroking Siggy with her foot. It is gross.

 

[Topaz Eyes]

the IBS community isn't cohesive or identity-driven enough to have anyone rooting out fakers.

Isn't the condition basically fake itself? It's just reactions from a poor diet. It's the CFS and fibro of gastroenterology. It's not like IBD where you can see the colon damage by looking because their immune system is actively attacking it.

 

[Chromeo]

Had another Stephanie dream, but it was kind of sad. I logged into KF and saw that she'd had a heart attack and just immediately died. It wasn't even funny, just a random death handled by her parents and very little online about it.
Stephanie start living better so we can laugh at you for a long time to come

 

[Aunt Carol]

Isn't the condition basically fake itself? It's just reactions from a poor diet.

It's a functional disorder, so it's named for observed symptoms, not what causes it. "Fake" is kind of uncharitable. That's likely accurate for the IBS-claimers in the munchie sphere we're used to, but they're ruining it for everyone.

Someone who is having a lot of life stress and they keep poopin' so they're trying an elimination diet--that's also IBS, and probably a person who won't bring it up unless they're apologizing for using the bathroom a lot.

Stephanie, meanwhile, eats gas station food right before bed and gets into slapfights on the Internet; when she says "IBS" it's just Ignatius Reilly's valve, when it isn't her fart fetish.

 

[Peepeepoopoo Witch]

The only problem is that druid stuff doesn't have convenient Marvel prettyboys deities for her to pretend to fuck, and 'I'm fucking the spirit of some random ditch weed' doesn't appeal to her narcissism as much as 'me and Lolki are totes engaged and bang daily'.

Aengus, Irish god of love and sex, is the Druidy prettyboy, but he's not in anything mainstream. Or she could start having pretend sex with the prettyboy fae.

I have several guesses as to who her next imaginary fuckbuddies will be.

• She goes back to being a Satanist. It's the only religion or spiritual tradition that's compatible with her personality and lifestyle.
• Set or Sobek from Egyptian mythology becomes her new imaginary friend. Egyptian stuff is now part of the MCU, and has always been in mainstream pop culture stuff. Both Set and Sobek are edgy enough for her. I'd put my money on Set, but she may pick Sobek because he's a sex god whereas Set is as infertile as the deserts he rules over. It would be hilarious if she watches Stargate and adds Ra to her imaginary harem.
• One of the Greek gods. Super mainstream, almost of their gods are divinely hot, full of edgelords, popular in the queer fandom.
• She gets really into otherkin shit and starts pretend-fucking dragons, elves or some other common lust object.
• She picks something seemingly random in order to spite us and throw us for a loop.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I have several guesses as to who her next imaginary fuckbuddies will be.

This would also be a good poll!

Egyptian isn't going to happen, though. Too many people are familiar at the Eyewitness Books/build a Lego pyramid level, Stargate is rad but kinda old, and The Mummy has gotten too popular again. It's normie-tier occultism, I think. Also there's no way Stephanie could do the eyeliner, and if Ancient Egyptians are The Brown this week it'd be cultural appropriation. Egypt would give her some tempting arguments to start with Christians, but that's the only draw.

Given she's into the "sigils and Goetia" kind of early 1900s Satanism, albeit the Geocities version of it, it's surprising she's never had a Discordian phase, even if she'd veer right off into unironic chaos magic.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Egyptian isn't going to happen, though.

The main reason Egypt isn't gonna happen is that the only Egyptian gods she cares about are Sekhmet and Bast because she's a little old cat lady boomer at heart. And as we all know, Stapphy is incredibly straight and does not like pussy (hehe).