Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Two Mile Brick]

FBI (most feds in general, but especially the FBI) move at the pace of government paperwork pushers when an investigation is not terribly critical and there's no risk of flight. (Cut to short clip of Rick furiously waddling away from federal agents squealing NoOoOoOo child) Chances are there's probably a two man crew working on the investigation as one of many they have to deal with. I imagine that the Rick investigation, to the feds, is low priority. They know where he is, they know he's not going anywhere, and they don't need to speed anything up. So they'll work on the Pig File for a few days, go work on another one that is more urgent, go out to testify before a Grand Jury, go on leave for few days, come back, work on the Pig File again, repeat. (The other option is that they can only review the file so much before having to put it down- perhaps to ensure that none of them start Patposting. Oh, the idea of a fed patposting fills me with childish glee) Additionally, all the requests for computer and cell data take time. Warrants have to be cut, the digital forensics guys have to have their meetings and the Pig Files get shoved down the priority stack as more urgent things arise.

TLDR - Rick's time will come...

As I consider it the first sign will probably be Rick disappearing from Twatter and PedSky, and then wiser kiwis than I will find the fed arrest logs and get the newest, up to date Rick Mugshot, which will require probably some of the most powerful cameras that the FBI has to fit him into frame. Because he's fat.

 

[femoralcanal]

I think this is just a repost of an old conversation Dan had with Torswats. Likely something that was already posted here a while back.



But the reason I'm reposting it is simply to say: I hope the FBI waits until later on the day of Trump's inauguration to get Fatty. I want him to enjoy prison by the hands of Trump's FBI.

You just know that inside his demented mind that fact would make his arrest a thousand times worse.

 

[30+GameOvers]

or

Hard to get any work done when you're busy childing people on xitter via your phone, Patrick

 

[OtherLastTrainHome]

since the theory about patrick swatting himself is back in focus i will just remark upon it how i have before: there is no concrete evidence yet that he has done so, but there is also no concrete evidence that he hasn't and this isn't like that bullshit Mueller report against Trump where they were like "we don't have enough evidence to say he DIDN'T collude with Russia!" and be huge faggots. everything about the "50+ swattings" has been too suspicious and his behavior on the matter is equally concerning because he has motive for it, there's the whole matter of the AirBNB to consider, and there are way too many bizarre events that match up a little too neatly that paint him in a very dangerous light.

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

The most damning thing about the Airbnb (to me) is that the pests and didn’t even KNOW about the Airbnb until relatively recently. I feel it was discovered post-Quasi and at first assumed it started after the payment; but was found to be much older.

I can barely imagine an idiot funster who calls ambulances in Rick - maybe even taking into account the Airbnb - but I cannot conceive that when the Airbnb is unknown.

I suspect some early swats may have been real and it gave him the idea because of some good outcome, perhaps even twitter asspats (but more likely some Nikki family control).

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

He knows all the words. But he doesn't have the creative needed to reword them to fit his specific personalized needs. It's like an Elephant with a paintbrush. So he basically takes Qanon theories and Madlibs it with his friends and Enemies. And then rearranges what he has left with in a way that's supposed to make him look smart and cool. It's kinda like how DeviantArt autists don't understand memes so they just repeat the face value joke and replace some of the foreign bits with their hyperspecific needs. So instead of putting Henry the Train on top of Gigachad Stew is turning the Frankenstein gangster communist computer god into Xlxn Mxsk Fascist Oligarchal Computer God.

This analysis also relates to the Hog as well. For example, his explanation to why he's ""conservative"" when what he's describing is a libertarian. Even as he tries to muster up DOING A HECKING RACISM = BIG GUBBAMINT you can't even say he is pro small government at all from his complete and utter politics worship. He knows conservative equals "when you uhhh like money and guns or however the gutteroil is filtered" but he doesn't understand that most pro-life folks expect their own state and county council to ban/limit abortion also want a smaller NATIONWIDE government. No THEY'RE the real libtards claiming to be Conservatives...O Algo... Rick simply cannoT change his political identity thaT would be impractical! He gets it right then firsT time!!!!

 

[Meriasek]

This analysis also relates to the Hog as well. For example, his explanation to why he's ""conservative"" when what he's describing is a libertarian. Even as he tries to muster up DOING A HECKING RACISM = BIG GUBBAMINT you can't even say he is pro small government at all from his complete and utter politics worship. He knows conservative equals "when you uhhh like money and guns or however the gutteroil is filtered" but he doesn't understand that most pro-life folks expect their own state and county council to ban/limit abortion also want a smaller NATIONWIDE government. No THEY'RE the real libtards claiming to be Conservatives...O Algo... Rick simply cannoT change his political identity thaT would be impractical! He gets it right then firsT time!!!!

Rick is conservative because he wants to conserve certain values. Those values just happen to be purely liberal values. He also wants to conserve performative machismo and about 15k calories a day on his expanding waistline.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

We assume, for now, that Exhibit A in the MPD case is the bodycam footage, which, if you've been paying attention, the judge already stated both parties agreed to keep sealed during the proceedings.

It is not actually.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

As I consider it the first sign will probably be Rick disappearing from Twatter and PedSky, and then wiser kiwis than I will find the fed arrest logs and get the newest, up to date Rick Mugshot, which will require probably some of the most powerful cameras that the FBI has to fit him into frame. Because he's fat.

"Tyrone, get the big camera. We're gonna need all the pixels for this perp," the chief ordered.

Special Agent Tyrone dutifully pulled the colossal camera from storage, straining as the pallet jack groaned beneath the weight. Dragging the camera into the booking room, Tyrone's heart seemed to freeze as he beheld the man they were booking. He was staring at a man he hadn't seen in decades- the man who took his brother Da'Quarius that dark and stormy night, the man who ground Da'Quarius into Milwaukee's finest sausage meat, the reason Tyrone had been a vegetarian for all these long years.

"It's you," Tyrone whispered to himself.

There was no way the rotund figure before him could've heard him. Yet his gaze immediately focused on Tyrone, his beady, piggish eyes glinting with mutual recognition, as he quietly mouthed his response:

"Wrong, child."

 

[TerminalTryHard]

It is not actually.

View attachment 6697019

It's hilarious even the cops he's suing are trying to point out that making all this public just gives the trolls more ammo.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

He was staring at a man he hadn't seen in decades- the man who took his brother Da'Quarius that dark and stormy night, the man who ground Da'Quarius into Milwaukee's finest sausage meat, the reason Tyrone had been a vegetarian for all these long years.

"It's you," Tyrone whispered to himself.

27 years before that his uncle was taken by Tommywise, the Dicksucking Clown

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

27 years before that his uncle was taken by Tommywise, the Dicksucking Clown

The Rib-tual of Chüd where instead of telling jokes you have to NOCHILD him into oblivion

 

[Spunt]

This analysis also relates to the Hog as well. For example, his explanation to why he's ""conservative"" when what he's describing is a libertarian. Even as he tries to muster up DOING A HECKING RACISM = BIG GUBBAMINT you can't even say he is pro small government at all from his complete and utter politics worship. He knows conservative equals "when you uhhh like money and guns or however the gutteroil is filtered" but he doesn't understand that most pro-life folks expect their own state and county council to ban/limit abortion also want a smaller NATIONWIDE government. No THEY'RE the real libtards claiming to be Conservatives...O Algo... Rick simply cannoT change his political identity thaT would be impractical! He gets it right then firsT time!!!!

Remember it's not about what Rick actually believes, it's about what he wants people to think he believes. Rick's actual beliefs are neoliberal, because in the current day and age that is the belief system that is most likely to put him in positions of power, which is all he really cares about. When I say Rick's "actual beliefs", Rick doesn't really have any, he just wants to be on the winning team and during his Twitter peak, they were, so that's where he nailed his colours to the mast. Rick's claim to be conservative stems from his gigantic insecurity about his masculinity. To Rick (and I actually agree with him on this, though he'd never own up to this being his real opinion), neoliberal men are weak, submissive, soy-titted, effeminate pantywaists, so he doesn't want people to think he is one, even though he is actually all those things. Rick wants people to think that he's a muscle-car drivin', gun-totin', barfight winnin' tough guy who has lots of sex you guys, but also an emotionally literate, media literate, authorin' literate renaissance man, because you can't place Rick in a box, he's too fat special and unique! And as many have said before, that's the angle he's going for in order to get a media career - the conservative who gets invited onto liberal news outlets, because he's got it all figured out and only he knows how to square the circle.

Of course Pat doesn't understand the difference between conservatism and libertarianism. He doesn't really know the difference between either of those things and liberalism either, nor does he particularly care to learn. Pat considers learning a waste of time, which in his case it actually is because Mr 1.2 GPA isn't good at learning, but he's really good at arguing! Ok, he isn't good at arguing either, because his idea of arguing is to loudly yell his opinion over and over until the other person gives up. In fact he's not really good at anything except Pepperoni production.

 

[curbside2]

@Spunt I think Pat knows the difference and simply exploited the popularity boost that “As a conservative” granted him. He got to be the retweeted “good republican” by libs. He pumped the breaks on the conservative thing once the Overton window shifted to hating conservatives no matter how RINO they are.

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

One shudders to imagine what Chud!Rick would act like. Probably a lot less funny except for when people call him gay.

 

[IsaacShraeder]

One shudders to imagine what Chud!Rick would act like. Probably a lot less funny except for when people call him gay.

I think someone with Rick's personality could never be a true Chud. Its a very "human" mindset that someone as soulles and dumb as him could never adopt.
Right wing Pat would be an extremely insufferable Q-boomer who cheers for Russia instead of Ukraine and sucks off blacks who "leave the dem plantation".
Come to think of it, he'd probably make for a good Groyper as well.

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

One shudders to imagine what Chud!Rick would act like. Probably a lot less funny except for when people call him gay.

chud rick would be awesome I'd love to have such a keyboard warrior on my side lmao.

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

@Spunt Patrick's not really a "square in a round hole" either. He's a giant Sphere who can't fit into the round he because his diameter is too wide for it. However because he has a little tip on the other side after squeezing in he thinks he's an insider and feels content with that.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Chudrick would just be Joe Cumia

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

I wonder how many different meals we're going to see posted on BlueSky and Xitter.

Edit: That's where you're wrong, stalker. The chefs at Hooli's already cleared me for a hamburger bun dinner roll Thanksgiving. They know you're the one responsible for good cheer and family ties. You're the one who will be put in a family gathering with a beautifully moist turkey and yams and all the sides. This is the holiday you chose.

Enjoy stuffing, stalker. We. Will Won't.