Ethan Ralph, Fugitive from Justice

[AnOminous]

"ETHAN RALPH... TO LIVE, YOU MUST EAT THIS BUCKET OF SHIT TO RETRIEVE THE KEY AT THE BOT-"

"...WELL FUCK"

He not only eats the bucket of shit, he takes a selfie of himself eating it and posts it on Xitter. "Imagine eating this good." He eats it so ravenously, squealing in piglike ecstasy, that he eats the key, too.

 

[Oliver Onions]

There was an extremely funny impersonation of Ralph here, but it's gone now.

 

[Red Frida]

You must eat burgers out of this gas station trashcan to get your nationwide warrant quashed in time for Xanders Christmas.

 

[Belgians in the Congo]

He's probably gonna be immigrating to another country by this point.

As a proud representative of the Argentine Republic, fuck off nigger we're full.

 

[Salvatore Leone]

He's probably gonna be immigrating to another country by this point.

Since Null is leaving the Slavic sphere, we need another person from the sektur to take his place. Ralph can tell us about how his commieblock is better than living in America.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

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Since Null is leaving the Slavic sphere, we need another person from the sektur to take his place. Ralph can tell us about how his commieblock is better than living in America.

The Russian Ralphamale does have a pretty nice ring to it. I don't know what kind of pills they're going to have for him though, I think they crack down pretty fast on American pigs doing drugs.

As an aside I crack up every time I see the title of this thread.

 

[Salvatore Leone]

The Russian Ralphamale does have a pretty nice ring to it. I don't know what kind of pills they're going to have for him though, I think they crack down pretty fast on American pigs doing drugs.

As an aside I crack up every time I see the title of this thread.

It will definitely be harder for him to get his hands on any percs or pain meds there, but there is an abundance of alcohol for him. There will be a higher chance of him being robbed or beaten up by drunken gopniks for his Ralphamale behavior.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

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Since Null is leaving the Slavic sphere, we need another person from the sektur to take his place. Ralph can tell us about how his commieblock is better than living in America.

This would actually be a baller move on his part. So he won't do it.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

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Since Null is leaving the Slavic sphere, we need another person from the sektur to take his place. Ralph can tell us about how his commieblock is better than living in America.

I will personally go on hog hunting, then

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Ralph can tell us about how his commieblock is better than living in America.

Is Slavic cuisine an upgrade from Mexican?

 

[Salvatore Leone]

Is Slavic cuisine an upgrade from Mexican?

It will be hard to find a torta replacement. Maybe a diet of Borscht and Pelmeni?

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

When he tries to do the gopnik squat the gunt will touch the ground.

 

[Look--an Alien!]

When he tries to do the gopnik squat the gunt will touch the ground.

Old Man Ralph cant gopnik squat like the true slavs, his decrepit hip will blow out completely and the locals will steal his wallet, passport and phone (it'll be just like old times!)

 

[Pelican Bones]

Old Man Ralph cant gopnik squat like the true slavs, his decrepit hip will blow out completely and the locals will steal his wallet, passport and phone (it'll be just like old times!)

Heels in the sky, western spy

 

[Ethan Ralph's Low IQ]

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Since Null is leaving the Slavic sphere, we need another person from the sektur to take his place. Ralph can tell us about how his commieblock is better than living in America.

I doubt Russia will accept a crippled, destitute, unskilled felon drug addict into their country. But it would be interesting to see the moral grounds this degenerate would try to claim.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Old Man Ralph cant gopnik squat like the true slavs, his decrepit hip will blow out completely and the locals will steal his wallet, passport and phone (it'll be just like old times!)

JOKES ON YOU A-LAWS, THIS GUY VLADIM, ON THE CORNER HAD MY EXCACT TYPE OF BROKEN PHONE FOR FIVE ERO, HES EVEN A FAN OF THE KILLSTREAM, ACTUALLY! NOW I'M GONNA HAVE SOME BUTTER BROAD, I BET THAT BROKE DICK JERSH MOON DON'T HAVE NO BUTTER BROAD!

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

Gunt on the Run is asking for a publid defender.

 

[Maldron the Assassin]

Gunt on the Run is asking for a publid defender.

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Broke bitch. Where'd the money go Ralph?

 

[HackerX]

Gunt on the Run is asking for a publid defender.

View attachment 6707586

I can only imagine how much he begged Rekieta to do him a solid on this.

 

[MadStan]

A Public Defender, for a contempt of court proceeding... oh I am sure whoever is selected will move mountains to ensure Ethan doesn't face accountability all the way to SCOTUS. Can the judge demand he appear in-person to plead, or is Piggie able to wing a "zoom" presence?