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You may have already thought about cool queerstuff to get your primary partner this holiday season, but what about a gift for the other people who make your heart sing — or even for the people that make your partner’s heart sing? Maybe this holiday season, it’s time to think about gifts for your entire non-monogamous constellation of connections, romantic or otherwise. Your butch metamour who loves boxing was never expecting you to surprise them with the perfect hand balm, but they’ll be elated you did. All that’s to say: don’t be afraid to give gifts to the connections that are important to you and deserve to be shown some love if you can help it, even if they aren’t for your primary partner! Everyone in the ‘cule can feel the love this holiday season.
We’ve pulled together an eccentric list of gift ideas for every member of your polycule, from primary partners, to crushes, to the many metamours you feel fondly about. Better yet, these gifts come from queer-owned businesses or queer makers, so you’ll get extra points for supporting incredible craftspeople of all sorts.
Look, we all know they’re bound to be entranced by lovely block prints, so why not snag this one for them? The delicious green riso ink, the focus on two hands holding each other, all those beautiful plants and bugs — what more could a cute volunteer want? Some good political messaging, you say? We’ve got that covered!
If this print doesn’t seem like the right fit for your socially conscious cutie, feel free to check out all the other prints, stickers, and patches in the Sturgeon Designs Etsy shop (like the Butch Bait one, yum). It’s a fantastic collection made by an extraordinary artist in Wisconsin.
This is the easiest and best-smelling way to ease some tension whenever you go over to her place to smoke. Nobody can complain about the smell of orchids and sea salt; seriously, if you’ve never had a sea salt-scented candle before, you have to check this one out. They’re so crisp that you might want to eat them. (But please, don’t eat any candles.) This three-pack option will give your girlfriend a variety of candles to light pre-hot-girl-bong-rip.
Give them the gift of a beautiful bottle of “leather cleaner” — and one that smells great, to boot. Double Scorpio is a top shelf queer-run poppers brand, and one that uses isobutyl nitrate in its formula instead of the more unknown/risky isopropyl stuff found in other leather cleaners. As an added bonus, this leather cleaner comes in a purple-and-blue iridescent bottle sure to match any clubbing outfit. Just remind them to stay safe when they go out, and hopefully you two will have a dance floor rendezvous soon.
There are no better chains than those that are individually handmade by a super freaky queer. Grab some of their premade stuff or ask for a custom design! Kay Chainz offers everything from scale mail type tops to some gorgeous byzantine weave necklaces. Talent and dedication are on display with every single creation.
This zine explores the lesser-known figures of trans history, all with a cute illustration style printed onto recycled paper. Tracing back trans figures from ancient Greek mythology to the pioneers of the Stonewall Uprising, this zine is chock full of informational illustrations and blurbs. Not only will they be excited to get a cool zine about trans folks throughout history, they’ll also be ecstatic to know your money went to supporting a queer artist. And don’t forget to ask them about vintage microfiche; they’ll love a listening ear.
This one is simple, really: it’s a cocktail recipe book by the owners of Brooklyn-based queer-owned bar Mood Ring that separates recipes by astrological sign. You’ll get to reap the benefits when your boyfriend and their spouse host a party and make you a Leo-specific mixed drink. Buy from your local independent bookstore, which you can easily select on the Bookshopwebsite if you can’t make it to Mood Ring in person.
Full disclosure: I needed to ask my one coworker who knows about sports for this recommendation. But also, the shirt is cute, Autostraddle is cool, and A League of Their Ownis sports gay history. If nothing else, do it for Rosie O’Donnell’s guest role on The L Word: Generation Q. Make sure to buy a shirt while they last, as it’s the collectible's final run on the Autostraddle website!
If you know somebody who deserves to be spoiled, why not go all out with a gorgeous piece of leatherwork that you’ll also get to enjoy? This handmade leather choker comes adorned with nickel-plated steel hardwear, perfect for yanking your baby around. Just imagine grabbing them by the collar and pulling them close to your face. It’s a treat for both of you. River Queer works with great leather, and makes absolutely gorgeous pieces; don’t sleep on the rest of what their store has to offer.
It’s a true pleasure to have a lesbian baranywhere near you, especially when there are fewer than 36 left in the U.S. If you have the honor to be a regular at one of these establishments and the higher honor of having a lesbian bartender in your polycule constellation, they’re likely the one making your experience worthwhile. Aside from tipping, consider showing some appreciation for your favorite mixologist this holiday season with a little festive flair. This “Don We Now Our Gay Apparel” card is queer-made and comes with a drawing of a flannel right on the front, which is deliciously butch.
Not only are their wines delicious, Ram Cellars is LGBTQ+-owned. Check out this low intervention wine, and ask your friend what low interventionmeans; they’ll be happy to explain it to you.
We can all be honest here. The best gift you can give to the cute bookseller in your life is letting them talk to you about whatever books they’ve been reading recently for about three hours straight.
But second place? Getting them a super cool book that they wouldn’t be able to order for themselves at their bookstore. Ethel is a fantastic queer literary project and micro-press that publishes super cool writers — and just look at their textile-heavy cover design! You’ll surprise that book nerd with a beautiful copy of a book that might not be on their radar, which is already impressive in and of itself.
11 Gifts for Every Member of Your Polycule
A beautiful thing about being queer and non-monogamous is all of the connections we form with our loves, both big and small. From sweet lovers to nesting partners to our entire galaxy of partners’ partners (metamours for the polyamorous pros out there), each one makes our lives all the more special — so let’s give each other little treats.You may have already thought about cool queerstuff to get your primary partner this holiday season, but what about a gift for the other people who make your heart sing — or even for the people that make your partner’s heart sing? Maybe this holiday season, it’s time to think about gifts for your entire non-monogamous constellation of connections, romantic or otherwise. Your butch metamour who loves boxing was never expecting you to surprise them with the perfect hand balm, but they’ll be elated you did. All that’s to say: don’t be afraid to give gifts to the connections that are important to you and deserve to be shown some love if you can help it, even if they aren’t for your primary partner! Everyone in the ‘cule can feel the love this holiday season.
We’ve pulled together an eccentric list of gift ideas for every member of your polycule, from primary partners, to crushes, to the many metamours you feel fondly about. Better yet, these gifts come from queer-owned businesses or queer makers, so you’ll get extra points for supporting incredible craftspeople of all sorts.
For the hottie you’ve seen volunteering at the food justice co-op
A “Community Is Resistance” Riso Print by Sturgeon Designs, $14Look, we all know they’re bound to be entranced by lovely block prints, so why not snag this one for them? The delicious green riso ink, the focus on two hands holding each other, all those beautiful plants and bugs — what more could a cute volunteer want? Some good political messaging, you say? We’ve got that covered!
If this print doesn’t seem like the right fit for your socially conscious cutie, feel free to check out all the other prints, stickers, and patches in the Sturgeon Designs Etsy shop (like the Butch Bait one, yum). It’s a fantastic collection made by an extraordinary artist in Wisconsin.
For your stoner girlfriend with a weed-smell-hating roommate
A Trio of Aromatic Soy Wax Candles by Queer Candle Co., $55This is the easiest and best-smelling way to ease some tension whenever you go over to her place to smoke. Nobody can complain about the smell of orchids and sea salt; seriously, if you’ve never had a sea salt-scented candle before, you have to check this one out. They’re so crisp that you might want to eat them. (But please, don’t eat any candles.) This three-pack option will give your girlfriend a variety of candles to light pre-hot-girl-bong-rip.
For the techno babe you see at the gay club who always talks about “leather cleaner”
This Sapphire Bottle by Double Scorpio, $19Give them the gift of a beautiful bottle of “leather cleaner” — and one that smells great, to boot. Double Scorpio is a top shelf queer-run poppers brand, and one that uses isobutyl nitrate in its formula instead of the more unknown/risky isopropyl stuff found in other leather cleaners. As an added bonus, this leather cleaner comes in a purple-and-blue iridescent bottle sure to match any clubbing outfit. Just remind them to stay safe when they go out, and hopefully you two will have a dance floor rendezvous soon.
For your newly chain-obsessed partner
Some wallet chains, chain mail, or a sick belt by Kay ChainzThere are no better chains than those that are individually handmade by a super freaky queer. Grab some of their premade stuff or ask for a custom design! Kay Chainz offers everything from scale mail type tops to some gorgeous byzantine weave necklaces. Talent and dedication are on display with every single creation.
For that metamour of yours who spends all their free time pouring over vintage gay microfiche at the library
A Potted Trans History Zine by Rowan Frewin, $10This zine explores the lesser-known figures of trans history, all with a cute illustration style printed onto recycled paper. Tracing back trans figures from ancient Greek mythology to the pioneers of the Stonewall Uprising, this zine is chock full of informational illustrations and blurbs. Not only will they be excited to get a cool zine about trans folks throughout history, they’ll also be ecstatic to know your money went to supporting a queer artist. And don’t forget to ask them about vintage microfiche; they’ll love a listening ear.
For your boyfriend’s husband who loves both astrology and mixology
Margarita in Retrograde: Cocktails for Every Sign, $19This one is simple, really: it’s a cocktail recipe book by the owners of Brooklyn-based queer-owned bar Mood Ring that separates recipes by astrological sign. You’ll get to reap the benefits when your boyfriend and their spouse host a party and make you a Leo-specific mixed drink. Buy from your local independent bookstore, which you can easily select on the Bookshopwebsite if you can’t make it to Mood Ring in person.
For the sports gay crush you don’t fully understand
A League of Their Own t-shirt by Autostraddle, $26Full disclosure: I needed to ask my one coworker who knows about sports for this recommendation. But also, the shirt is cute, Autostraddle is cool, and A League of Their Ownis sports gay history. If nothing else, do it for Rosie O’Donnell’s guest role on The L Word: Generation Q. Make sure to buy a shirt while they last, as it’s the collectible's final run on the Autostraddle website!
For your queer sugar baby, or your sweet lil’ well-behaved sub
A studded leather choker by River Queer by River Queer, $50If you know somebody who deserves to be spoiled, why not go all out with a gorgeous piece of leatherwork that you’ll also get to enjoy? This handmade leather choker comes adorned with nickel-plated steel hardwear, perfect for yanking your baby around. Just imagine grabbing them by the collar and pulling them close to your face. It’s a treat for both of you. River Queer works with great leather, and makes absolutely gorgeous pieces; don’t sleep on the rest of what their store has to offer.
For boo’s nesting partner who works at your neighborhood lesbian bar
A beautiful queer card to put a generous cash tip inside, $5It’s a true pleasure to have a lesbian baranywhere near you, especially when there are fewer than 36 left in the U.S. If you have the honor to be a regular at one of these establishments and the higher honor of having a lesbian bartender in your polycule constellation, they’re likely the one making your experience worthwhile. Aside from tipping, consider showing some appreciation for your favorite mixologist this holiday season with a little festive flair. This “Don We Now Our Gay Apparel” card is queer-made and comes with a drawing of a flannel right on the front, which is deliciously butch.
For the one lesbian in your ‘cule who got really into natural wine this year
A bottle from Ram Cellars (ideally from a local wine store), $22Not only are their wines delicious, Ram Cellars is LGBTQ+-owned. Check out this low intervention wine, and ask your friend what low interventionmeans; they’ll be happy to explain it to you.
For the local indie bookseller you have a crush on
Remedies for a Cavity from Ethel, $10We can all be honest here. The best gift you can give to the cute bookseller in your life is letting them talk to you about whatever books they’ve been reading recently for about three hours straight.
But second place? Getting them a super cool book that they wouldn’t be able to order for themselves at their bookstore. Ethel is a fantastic queer literary project and micro-press that publishes super cool writers — and just look at their textile-heavy cover design! You’ll surprise that book nerd with a beautiful copy of a book that might not be on their radar, which is already impressive in and of itself.
