Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Dill said:
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funscape said:
You only have to look at what he did to the "instant mashed potatoes" when he first moved into the trailer to get an idea of how a slow cooker would go. Every recipe would end up cooked down until it's unrecognizable organic matter with the consistency of glue. Cobra's radioactive grease. And he will never clean the thing properly and pass out while it's on for over 12 hours.
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That's actually why it's the only cooking appliance he should be allowed to have. He may fuck up the food but he's not going to burn down his house. Allowing him to deep fry anything at all is absolute insanity (especially when he thinks yelling at fire puts it out somehow). I'd say he should get a special slow cooker where it's locked to low. That way when he does pass out with something for 12 hours and leave it on, what's in it might be mush (which will be okay for his boglim teeth) but it will be edible.

He'd probably refuse to learn how to do a pot roast though. Maybe someone could try convincing him Ozzy loves it.
 
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AnOminous said:
I'd say he should get a special slow cooker where it's locked to low.
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He has about the closest you can get to an appliance for babies with the electric skillet, it's a walmart brand skillet. It's 20USD and meant for niggers and college kids, and because of that reason it only goes to 204C/400F which is just under the temperature required to ignite cooking oil. He has been extremely lucky he uses this cheap garbage by accident. He somehow has also had the lolcow luck and somehow didn't create some perfect storm scenario that causes it to ignite as he passes out while he lets it cook for 12 hours. However now, he has a gas range.
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AnOminous said:
That's actually why it's the only cooking appliance he should be allowed to have. He may fuck up the food but he's not going to burn down his house. Allowing him to deep fry anything at all is absolute insanity (especially when he thinks yelling at fire puts it out somehow). I'd say he should get a special slow cooker where it's locked to low. That way when he does pass out with something for 12 hours and leave it on, what's in it might be mush (which will be okay for his boglim teeth) but it will be edible.

He'd probably refuse to learn how to do a pot roast though. Maybe someone could try convincing him Ozzy loves it.
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A slow cooker for the slow BOY! His mom uses one so that's probably enough to ensure he never does.
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I was 100% sure he already had one and sure enough going through the cooking vids in the trailer, it made a cameo in the background. By how clean it is I'd wager it's never been used.
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Quandale Octavius Dingle said:
I was 100% sure he already had one and sure enough going through the cooking vids in the trailer, it made a cameo in the background. By how clean it is I'd wager it's never been used.
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Knowing Cobra he probably turned it on and wondered why it wasn't getting hot right away and then had an autistic meltdown
 
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Blue Miaplacidus said:
He has about the closest you can get to an appliance for babies with the electric skillet, it's a walmart brand skillet. It's 20USD and meant for niggers and college kids, and because of that reason it only goes to 204C/400F which is just under the temperature required to ignite cooking oil. He has been extremely lucky he uses this cheap garbage by accident. He somehow has also had the lolcow luck and somehow didn't create some perfect storm scenario that causes it to ignite as he passes out while he lets it cook for 12 hours. However now, he has a gas range.
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I don't know if this has been addressed or not, but I'm guessing that Clunt turned the gas to the trailer off so Cobes doesn't kill himself and everyone else in the trailer park?
 
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IsaacShraeder said:
This look of pure concern before he realizes that it wasn't even the real ozzy dood is gold.
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I think he got more offended by Little Ozzy for him to read the Bible than knowing it wasn't the real Ozzy.
 
Negev said:
Every time I see him eat anything I wonder how his teeth are still holding on if barely, I actually think they are somehow preserved from all the sugar from his mead and all the soda he drinks.
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His teeth are probably in such bad shape that the teeth themselves, the nerves are dead. Im not a doctor but I think its like how youll see smokers or alcoholics (QED) drop teeth where they have bad cavities or something and the tooth breaks off near the root, and youd still feel it if you hit the nerve or the root Id imagine but you see them just living with it, like maybe the body dropped the tooth before the infection could spread further.
 
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I am just curious, and I think I have asked before but does anyone have on about average, how many times he orders food a week? Is it safe to say at least 4 times, maybe 5 times? Probably spending at least $30 (with taxes and fees) going upwards of $50 per order? So at bare minimum, he is spending over $6,200 a year in take out/ordering food. That is a mind boggling figure for a single person.
 
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BallBuster II said:
I am just curious, and I think I have asked before but does anyone have on about average, how many times he orders food a week? Is it safe to say at least 4 times, maybe 5 times? Probably spending at least $30 (with taxes and fees) going upwards of $50 per order? So at bare minimum, he is spending over $6,200 a year in take out/ordering food. That is a mind boggling figure for a single person.
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It depends on the paypiggies and what their wishes, usually they ask for dank food hacks and drink combos though. By the way remember when Cobes actually called his donators pay pigs in some leaked DM's? It was based af doodts.
 
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