My wife wants to have a second baby.
by
Acrobatic-Earth-684
I spoke to her honestly, saying,
"What makes you think I want to have a second baby with you?" After that moment, it felt like she finally grasped what I had been trying to convey all along: if my treatment or my changes upset her, she has every right to walk away.
She responded by saying, "Well, it’s because you were so excited about the last pregnancy test; you thought it was positive."
At that time, it had only been six months since the arrival of our first child.
She mentioned wanting me to return to the urologist to check on my sperm count from last time.
The last time I saw a urologist was three years ago. At that point, my sperm count was 15 million, but they were all quite slow, which left me with only a 2% chance of conception.
Now, with being on hormones for almost two years, I’m uncertain about my current count or my chances of fathering another child. It took us two years to conceive initially. I had nearly given up hope, but after five months on hormones, my sperm became active, leading to her pregnancy on August 11, 2023.
I’ve contemplated divorce for quite a while now, but two significant reasons have kept me from taking that step.
Firstly, my love for her—a persistent hope that she might change, and the understanding that “love is blind.” When love is present, we often overlook each other’s flaws.
Secondly, our first child weighs heavily on my heart. I worry about raising her in a broken home, where her parents no longer love each other.
I genuinely try to foster love for her, but it becomes increasingly challenging amidst a toxic work environment and what feels like a somewhat toxic atmosphere at home.
Over the past four years, the thought of divorce has surfaced in my mind on seven different occasions.