Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[Kane Lives]

Jake spent two hours today tweeting a summary of his gargantuan retelling of the plot of FFXIV.

Here's the beginning of the index page on Tumblr.
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And a flavor from that page.
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Spoiler: Long images

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Two replies.
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Other stuff.
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Does anyone actually read these fucking screeds aside from us?

Also jesus his "summary" is both delusional and non-informative at the same time.

 

[Spunt]

Does anyone actually read these fucking screeds aside from us?

Also jesus his "summary" is both delusional and non-informative at the same time.

That's our Jake!

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think we've ever seen anyone respond to or interact with his tumblr ramblings and he only gets the odd polite reply on Bluesky. Yet he is convinced that this is his "job", and between this and his streams (which again I think we are the only audience for) he genuinely believes that he can transition this into some kind of paid influencer job. Classic Jake delusion and magical thinking.

I don't know about all of you, but I for one am enjoying this Jake Renaissance. After he got "banned" on Twitter I was afraid he'd fade away into obscurity, but in the last few months we've seen him resume his sperging on Bluesky, found the "Random Weirdo" account and of course we have front-row seats to watch the doomed JakeTendo project like some kind of slow-motion trainwreck. It's good to be a gnomewatcher again.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I guess Jake could actually have a 2 bit absolute encoder, I have never actually seen such a thing for sale

Thinking it over, I'm betting Jake thinks he has a 2-bit Gray code encoder (or something along those lines) but really doesn't. It does seem much more likely that a 3-wire setup is exactly what you originally thought it is.
Although it would be comical if he really did get a wheel that wouldn't register any motion till a full quarter-turn

Does anyone actually read these fucking screeds aside from us?

I don't think even we read that Final Fantasy slop. Playing the game would be quicker.

It's good to be a gnomewatcher again.

"Gnomewreckers"

 

[Aunt Carol]

I don't think even we read that Final Fantasy slop. Playing the game would be quicker.

Jakeism seems like a good indication for AI-powered summaries.

I wonder if he texts his mom like he writes for "public" consumption.

 

[kazuhiro]

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think we've ever seen anyone respond to or interact with his tumblr ramblings and he only gets the odd polite reply on Bluesky.

He gets a handful of likes and a few reblogs on Tumblr, plus an occasional comment. It's hard to figure why he bothers, other than it passes the time.

Does anyone actually read these fucking screeds aside from us?

I don't think even we read that Final Fantasy slop. Playing the game would be quicker.

Truly, the FFXIV stuff is a rich seam of drivel, completely uninformative, and endlessly quotable.
A random selection below.

Spoiler: Possible plot spoilers, idk

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think we've ever seen anyone respond to or interact with his tumblr ramblings and he only gets the odd polite reply on Bluesky. Yet he is convinced that this is his "job", and between this and his streams (which again I think we are the only audience for) he genuinely believes that he can transition this into some kind of paid influencer job. Classic Jake delusion and magical thinking.

I said awhile ago that Jake has to put up the appearance of being somebody of influence in an attempt to attract people to become fans of his "work" so to speak. He wants to give the image that he does already have an established following and loyal audience of fans because if somebody randomly does stumble onto something of his, the only chance he'll have of reeling them in is if they think he already has a track record of success and other people are invested in him. No one is going to stick around if they see he has zero following and is an unemployed fuckup behind the computer screen.

The other half of it is that he is just delusion and is coping for the sake of coming to grips that he is a colossal loser by every metric of what defines one.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole 2]

I said awhile ago that Jake has to put up the appearance of being somebody of influence in an attempt to attract people to become fans of his "work" so to speak. He wants to give the image that he does already have an established following and loyal audience of fans because if somebody randomly does stumble onto something of his

I think that's sort of a hold-over from when he was writing for RPGnexus or whatever it was. As one of the writers of an established site he had a built-in readership. Someone is going to click on that shit. I think he's still carrying that mindset, that he is a published writer.

 

[AnOminous]

Thinking it over, I'm betting Jake thinks he has a 2-bit Gray code encoder (or something along those lines) but really doesn't. It does seem much more likely that a 3-wire setup is exactly what you originally thought it is.

Lmao this shit is never going to work. This brainless gnome doesn't even remotely understand what he's trying to do. He's trying to voodoo it into existence somehow, and too mentally retarded even to understand that he doesn't understand the thing he can't do.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Lmao this shit is never going to work. This brainless gnome doesn't even remotely understand what he's trying to do. He's trying to voodoo it into existence somehow, and too mentally retarded even to understand that he doesn't understand the thing he can't do.

I'm just waiting for his next harebrained scheme that will inevitably fail.

 

[Kane Lives]

He gets a handful of likes and a few reblogs on Tumblr, plus an occasional comment. It's hard to figure why he bothers, other than it passes the time.


Truly, the FFXIV stuff is a rich seam of drivel, completely uninformative, and endlessly quotable.
A random selection below.

Spoiler: Possible plot spoilers, idk

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You're a braver man than I reading this.

 

[Kosher Dill]

This brainless gnome doesn't even remotely understand what he's trying to do.

I'm noticing that somehow or another, Jake seems to learn a few very specific things and then completely fail to understand them in context. Like that time he gave a decently accurate disquisition on HDMA on the SNES (effectively, tweaking parameters in between CRT scanlines), and then followed it up with ".... and so the Jaketendo needs to have this".

 

[AnOminous]

I'm noticing that somehow or another, Jake seems to learn a few very specific things and then completely fail to understand them in context. Like that time he gave a decently accurate disquisition on HDMA on the SNES (effectively, tweaking parameters in between CRT scanlines), and then followed it up with ".... and so the Jaketendo needs to have this".

I don't know why Jake thinks he has the ability to do anything like this. I mean he has the autistic weirdo thing down pat, but most of the people who do emulation, while being autistic weirdoes, are also very high IQ. The gnome is super dumb.

 

[Kosher Dill]

I don't know why Jake thinks he has the ability to do anything like this.

If I had to guess: because he considers the troonish tinkerers who actually do stuff like this "his peers". Everyone can do this stuff, right?

PHH was some sort of soi-disant synthesizer hacker or game modder or something too, wasn't he?

 

[Aunt Carol]

. He's trying to voodoo it into existence somehow, and too mentally retarded even to understand that he doesn't understand the thing he can't do.

We reference cargo cults a lot here, but Jake is literally developing a console using cargo cult engineering. It's not even a metaphor this time.

 

[lindsayfan]

know what i enjoy? jake's autistic allegorical fairy tales, like the lonely monster in the ravine and the one about the evil brown rakshasa.

well, the violet oceanessance is in full swing because violet's posted a giant thread about a hitlerian ogre named MESSY PRINGLE and how the ogre tricked Qoe Zinn, the Nazi Bashing Elf, into betraying the castle coordinates of the fairest princess in the land...

I've been a bit torn on whether to join in sharing horror stories about a certain dangerous bigot from some combination of not wanting to preach to the choir, trying to remain off the radar and a vague recollection of said bigot being the sort to find excuses to sue people. So let me just tell you a little story instead, where any resemblances to real people or events are wacky coincidences.

Once upon a time in a far away land, there was a magical princess, who lived in an enchanted castle nobody could find, which was good, because that princess spent a lot of time burning down nazis' castles and they were perpetually trying to find her and kill her for doing that. Then one day, a horrible monster that tortured children was told it couldn't do that any more, which really upset a big nasty ogre named Messy Pringle, and he wrote a ridiculous article about how torturing children is actually really good for them and they enjoy it and we should all make sure monsters can do it as much as they want. The princess (who knew several children with pretty strong anti-torture stances, including a victim of that monster) saw that and thought what the hell, and asked all the other princesses WTF?

They mostly shrugged and said they were pretty sure he was a decent ogre who smacked nazis around here and there, so the princess decided to send a polite message asking the ogre if he would perhaps like the perspective of a child the monster had been torturing, at which point the ogre cast a spell to summon a whole bunch of nazis to chase after the princess. A quick check-in with several other princesses revealed they also had decided to have a word with the ogre and been run off, plus there was a bit of speculation that the ogre maybe had some weird princess-fetish, so everyone decided the best thing to do was set up some wards to keep the ogre away and go about their business.

But the ogre really wasn't anywhere close to done messing with the princess, and would periodically use a private window to magic-ward evade and spy on her and try to rile up nazis about what she was saying, which she was used to since nazis did that all the time too. The ogre would also collect all the greatest smears in the land to re-target at the princess, particularly a bunch originally made up to smear the princess' very good friend, Nazi Bashing Elf, who was a bit of a celebrity in the kingdom.

That was also pretty much par for the course, and couldn't really hurt her what with the enchanted castle and all. So the ogre raged and raged while also blackmailing and attacking every other princess in the land, often trying to go after their employers, but the closest thing the princess had to a job was hanging around with Nazi Bashing Elf, banishing nazis from the land and burning their castles down and sheltering their victims and whatnot. So the ogre started buttering up Nazi Bashing Elf who incidentally happened to be the only person in the kingdom the princess trusted the secret of her enchanted castle to, and wouldn't you know it, all of the sudden Nazi Bashing Elf was no longer speaking to the princess, while still keeping the ogre in the private scrying circle, and within a week, the princess was suddenly dealing with all sorts of foul creatures suddenly showing up at her castle including a particularly scary incident where one impersonated her carriage driver and abducted her into the spooky forest half a kingdom away before panicking when she whipped her phone out to call for help and dumping her there.

That's the sort of thing you have to worry about with ogres. Lots of people expect them to be all shouty in public, like trolls, but no ogres are way more dangerous and go through back channels when they can. And you shouldn't let them anywhere near princesses, who have more than enough on their plates, thanks.

today, 8 Dec 2024, we learned that jesse singal was responsible for jake's legendary medikkkab cabnapping... the lore never ends!!!

 

[The Taco Santo!]

That Messy Pringle sounds like a bad egg.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

today, 8 Dec 2024, we learned that jesse singal was responsible for jake's legendary medikkkab cabnapping... the lore never ends!!!

Now to be fair, he did so because he had a fetish for Princess Jake. Between Glinner and Pringle, Violet’s beauty is as much a curse as it is a blessing. If only someone had told her that her great pulchritude and HUGE TITS would attract such people when she transitioned…

 

[kazuhiro]

That fairy tale thread is one of the craziest greatest things I've ever read.

More Jesse Singal. Features a number of guest cows.

Spoiler

"Julia Serano."




"Liz Fong-Jones."

The linked thread.

Noah fucking Berlatsky.

Jezebel.

Dan Savage.

Other stuff.

 

[lindsayfan]

lmao i mercifully haven't thought of noah berlatsky for years. i wonder if he's still communications director for (this is non-hyperbolic) a literal pedophile-advocacy group: https://prostasia.org/blog/social-media-attacks-on-prostasia/

what a wholesome person and sensible choice of ally to team with against the evil ogre messy pringle

 

[AnOminous]

That fairy tale thread is one of the craziest greatest things I've ever read.

Imagine the depth of mental illness it takes to write something like that.