Is Santa Claus Real?

Is Santa Claus Real?

  • Total voters
    2,634
  • Poll closed .
ATTENTION TO ALL PARENTS WHO NEED TO TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA

Son: "Dad, I think I'm old enough now. Is there a Santa Claus?."
Dad: "Ok, I agree that your old enough. But before I tell you, I have a question for you. You see, the “truth” is a dangerous gift. Once you know something, you can't unknow it.

Once you know the truth about Santa Claus, you will never again understand and relate to him as you do now.
So my question is: Are you sure you want to know?"
Brief pause...
Son: "Yes, I want to know"
Dad: "Ok, I'll tell you: Yes there is a Santa Claus"
Son: "Really?"
Dad: Yes, really, but he's not an old man with a beard in a red suit. That's just what we tell kids. You see, kids are too young to understand the true nature of Santa Claus, so we explain it to them in a way that they can understand.
The truth about Santa Claus is that he's not a person at all; he's an idea.
Think of all those presents Santa gave you over the years.
I actually bought those myself.
I watched you open them.
And did it bother me that you didn't thank me?
Of course not!
In fact it gave me great pleasure.
You see, Santa Claus is THE IDEA OF GIVING FOR THE SAKE OF GIVING, without thought of thanks or acknowledgement.

When I saw that woman collapse on the subway last week and called for help, I knew that she'd never know that it was me that summoned the ambulance.
I was being Santa Claus when I did that."
Son: "Oh."

Dad: "So now that you know, you're part of it. You have to be Santa Claus too now. That means you can never tell a young kid the secret, and you have to help us select Santa presents for them, and most important, you have to look for opportunities to help people. Got it?"

Help each other this Christmas and...be kind.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Elixia Potions, ABE LINN COHN, LobsterBoy669 and 5 others
If you're a Santa-Denier then you're an anti-American communist infiltrator and possibly a homosexual.
My only problem with Santa is that he's yet to add the blue to his red and white outfit to really represent the American hero he is.
I'm sure Eurofags will say "That doesn't make sense. He's a Christian icon, not an American one!" and to this I say, yes but we have no control over the fact that we're #1 and he loves us more for it.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: parody, Sultan Illìthæl of Isreal, ABE LINN COHN and 2 others
Of course he is.
1733932357915.png
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Agamemnon Busmalis and Jon of the Dead
Just remember that saint nicholas is the name christians gave to odin myth and celebration, riding with the wild hunt on sleipnir, the 8 legged horse. He used to ride in the sky with ghosts and leave gifts for those who deserved it.

Of course this used to be celebrated by a bonfire of burning trees to experience warmth and light on the darkest day of the year. Now we do it symbolically by putting lights in a tree.

Mistletoe, wreathes, they were all part of celebrating Yule.

The midwinter feast was celebrated for 12 days, which is where the 12 days of christmas comes from.

odinsanta.jpg

Of course he became fat once he moved to america. Too much cornsyrup. He loves it.
 
  • Feels
Reactions: ABE LINN COHN and Nickolas Gurr
Trump's Chosen said:
Just remember that saint nicholas is the name christians gave to odin myth and celebration, riding with the wild hunt on sleipnir, the 8 legged horse. He used to ride in the sky with ghosts and leave gifts for those who deserved it.

Of course this used to be celebrated by a bonfire of burning trees to experience warmth and light on the darkest day of the year. Now we do it symbolically by putting lights in a tree.

Mistletoe, wreathes, they were all part of celebrating Yule.

The midwinter feast was celebrated for 12 days, which is where the 12 days of christmas comes from.

View attachment 6740413

Of course he became fat once he moved to america. Too much cornsyrup. He loves it.
Click to expand...
327px-Sinterklaas_2007.jpg

That's funny, I don't remember Odin having no fucking Mitre.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ABE LINN COHN
Edward Caesar Sallow said:
Of course he's real, Nik has been stalking him for months.
View attachment 6740262View attachment 6740263
Click to expand...
Shhhhhh don't tell everyone that I, Sean Astin, am actually Santa Claus.

If I remember correctly, the whole idea of Santa Claus giving gifts comes from a story about Saint Nicholas's life where he overheard a father with three daughters worried that he couldn't pay their dowries to get them married and they'd have to unfortunately resort to prostitution, so Saint Nick, who came from a wealthy family, decided to throw bags of gold in his window every night to help him pay those dowries and allow the man's daughters to get married instead of becoming prostitutes. He did this twice for the first two daughters undetected, but the father stayed up to catch Nicholas dropping off the third bag. He then asked the father not to tell anyone that he gave the gifts.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: ABE LINN COHN and Sheep King
Cloudby Skytoucher said:
View attachment 6740448

That's funny, I don't remember Odin having no fucking Mitre.
Click to expand...
That's sinterklaas, who gave the name directly to santa clause, while most of the american habits around christmas are of british and norwegian/swedish origins (both had a large influence on early american culture, particularly because they were very useful as immigrants and they were good at living of the land and logging trees. The early swedish colony may havr been gobbled up, but the people remained).

And Odin always had fancy headwear. Here is the oldest depiction of Odin we have:


OdinVendelRoyalHelmet900AD.jpg
 
  • Dumb
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Wright and Nickolas Gurr
I don't know about Santa, but I know there's a fat man in Milwaukee who delivers laughs and niggeroni to all the good little stalker children.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ABE LINN COHN
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back