What is the nicest way to tell a child that you've never met before that Santa Claus isn't real?

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Sage In All Fields
Tell their parents they're bad people for lying to their children and are probably the reason why so many people are going through an epistemological crises right now without realising
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Get really drunk and sneak into their house on Christmas eve while wearing a Santa outfit. Make a bunch of noise until the kids wake up and find you puking all over the Christmas presents the parents left under the tree. Then you tell them you're not really Santa and it's all a bunch of lies.
 
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Hey, libtard. If Santa isn't real, then why does he have a Canadian postal code?
Screenshot_2020-11-28 Santa letter program Our company.png
 
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ProblematicUser420 said:
Explain to them that Santa Clause was a marketing campaign created by the Coca Cola company
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He existed before coca cola but became a lot more popular as a result of their ads. You'd be replacing one alleged falsehood for another and it'd result in a smug lil soylent chugging cunt of a child in a few years time.

The kid is gonna end up devastated any way, but the best way to go about it would be talking about shit like how while the santa they knew was just a fairy tale the giving sprit or generosity of their fellow man is like the true santa thats very real or whatever.
It'dalso probably help to teach them about the actual guy santa's based on and named after, and how it evolved through the years to the whimsical mythology we have today.
Now, if they know about Santa's goatman friend Krampus, that might be a little harder to explain.
 
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I believe in Santa Claus
Like I believe in love.
I believe in Santa Claus
And everything he does.
There's no question in my mind
That he does exist.
Just like love, I know he's there,
Waiting to be missed.

Short answer, phase in the "Santa's helpers" thing, like a department store Santa isn't the real one. That acclimates the kid to the idea of Santa fakery. From there, it's not so traumatic when the truth comes out.
 
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Since that's unnecessary there is no best way, it's kinda fucked up actually. But I guess if there's somehow a good reason for it, just be indirect. "Santa is a fun character," then that should prompt them to ask you to clarify about him being a character, and you can say he's not real but is still very cool.
 
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SSj_Ness (Yiffed) said:
Since that's unnecessary there is no best way, it's kinda fucked up actually. But I guess if there's somehow a good reason for it, just be indirect. "Santa is a fun character," then that should prompt them to ask you to clarify about him being a character, and you can say he's not real but is still very cool.
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Haha cool because of North Pole! 😂 😂 😂
 
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Big Christmas doesn't want you to know this but Santa Claus is just Odin trying to be jolly and bring joy to children instead of being brooding and murdery like he is during the rest of the year.
 
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"Santa didn't get lost. His reindeer weren't sick. It wasn't because of climate change keeping it from snowing. No. Santa didn't come this year because he simply isn't real. It's all just a big lie. Those presents under the tree Christmas morning, from Santa? Your parents did all that and pretended it was Santa. They just didn't plan ahead and save up enough money to buy you any presents this time. I guess they stopped loving you. You must have done something wrong."

May as well just go with that, if you're dick enough to tell a kid you don't even know about Santa.
 
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