Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 378 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 392 14.7%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.9%

  • Total voters
    2,658
I've started to wonder if instead of makeup, she actually went and got those freckle tattoos. Because I don't think she's ever seen without them these days, even though the fake-freckles makeup look is already out of style. Just yet another L for our perpetual failure of a moddle.
I do NOT understand those freckle tattoos. They are a flash-in-the-pan style that's been on its way out for a few years, yet people are getting them tattooed to their faces? What about when flawless skin is the style of the year again? Just gonna wear pancake makeup for the rest of your life? That's going to look awesome on creping skin.
 
Tessy sees the future

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All I can see outside that awful ill-fitted dress - how do you outfit an empire waist?! - are her bare, unmanicured nails. You get an invite to a party that has an actual Somebody and she didn’t even bother with a manicure. She didn’t even bother with some fucking clear coat. Broke much?
 
That long sleeved bolero thing certainly doesn’t do her any favours. It really draws the eye to her massive arms.
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Of course Mess reminds me of the most boring, uninteresting prosecutor of the entire franchise. Considering Tess's father wasn't a literal god, she is ever so slightly less of a disappointment.
 
For those who didn't watch the video:
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Every photo that we’ve been seeing these last several weeks of her has this extremely greasy look to it. I’m assuming that now it’s just pure Crisco coming out of these pores. Her bangs are another big fat failure, much like Tubbers herself.
 
Every photo that we’ve been seeing these last several weeks of her has this extremely greasy look to it. I’m assuming that now it’s just pure Crisco coming out of these pores. Her bangs are another big fat failure, much like Tubbers herself.
I'm convinced blotting paper would dissolve on contact with her.
 
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